Cav's Place

Yes, this is yet another post in this series that will seem awfully rushed, and it is when it comes to the actual writing, but I’ve spent a few hours over the past couple of days working on it, the problem being that most of that time was spent trying to decide on a second pick for one of the bands, since I didn’t make it easy for myself. But at least I finally did pick, so I can get on it and actually write something instead of just listening. And I’ll start by pointing out that, once again, none of the bands are actual new finds, but all of them do have new material.

I’ll start with Blackbriar, and with Arms of the Ocean, which is that song that I finally settled on after taking far too long to decide. It was obviously much easier with the newer song, My Soul’s Demise, but I then ended up going through everything else and finding that I had a similar pretty good opinion about several songs, but something also bothered me about pretty much all of them as well and nothing really stood out as great. But, while thinking about it when I was no longer at the computer, I gradually realized that Arms of the Ocean stuck better in my mind, and in the end it may be the better song overall. Either way, the vocals do seem too weak for the genre, and this may be what kept making me skip over them so far, despite knowing the band for quite a number of years and having thought about including them in such a post before, probably on at least a few different occasions. But that’s weak in the sense of not powerful, not in the sense of poor, in fact quite the opposite, and their sound is adapted to these vocals, resulting in a package that doesn’t only work quite well, but also stands out, is memorable. And now that they also signed with Nuclear Blast, they may even finally get an entry on Metal Archives, where they have apparently been blacklisted, whitelisted, and then blacklisted again. I wonder how much that weakness of the vocals has to do with that as well. But, again, far from being a flaw, if you listen to them for a while, those vocals become their defining trait and what will stick in your mind.

The second band is Autumn Bride, and the two picks are H.EART.H and The Path. The sound may be a little angrier than I’d like, but at least in case of H.EART.H that’s entirely understandable, considering the all too current and necessary message, and the particularly notable, powerful vocals fit this sort of sound. This is a solid, confident, powerful performance, so I hope they’ll keep doing what they do well.

As for the third band, that’s Beyond God, and Memories is probably what made me put them on the list in the first place. The other songs that I listened to aren’t at that level, and this also applies to the second pick, Coronation, which I only selected because I want to at least stick to my own rules and also pick a recent song, and at least this one doesn’t have growls and angry drums, though the meaning that I gather from the lyrics would otherwise make me really want to avoid promoting that sort of mindset. But I do remember Memories, and in fact it seemed so familiar when I listened to it again that I checked to see whether it’s not a cover, because I doubt that I had listened to it very recently, so it means that it left a good impression and I kept waiting for them to return to this level before including them in such a post… And now I guess that I decided to stop waiting and do it anyway.

I made the tea for the morning while working on the salad and started eating dinner at 1:15 AM, finishing a little after 1:50 AM. Then I took one of those pills against gas and the magnesium and potassium supplement, drinking a little of the tea, and got ready for the morning, once again needing plenty of time to pin the number on the t-shirt, though maybe not quite as much as I used to. And since I didn’t try to post anything about Eurovision that night, I got in bed at 3:15 AM. However, since I was still awake 20 minutes later, I went to pee one more time… Which still wasn’t enough, the need to pee waking me again at 5:53 AM. But the alarm was set to ring at 6 AM, so when I saw the time I decided to just get back in bed without going, and I might have actually just fallen asleep again when the alarm rang. Then I ate a large apple, a bio (organic) yogurt mixed with cereals, almonds and raisins in dark chocolate, and three of those wheat things, with honey and jam between them, and I also took the last of the supplements and another pill against gas and drank the remaining tea. Unsurprisingly, I hardly left anything in the toilet. And I left with dad just after 7:50 AM, wearing the full running gear and one of those armbands. At that point, the forecast listed 13-14°C at 9 AM, when the half marathon was going to start, and probably 17°C when I was going to finish. And dad drove me most of the way to the metro station, so I was there at 8 AM and, after getting off at Izvor, I reached Constitution Square at 8:20 AM, without putting on the mask which I had taken with me.
I “explored” a little at first, and while I was in the Sport Expo area I was handed a bar, though not one that I’d want to eat during the race. Then I saw baskets of fruits in the Mega Image tent and wondered whether you could take any, since nobody seemed to, so I took off my jacket and stood around, made a few stretching moves, and after quite some time I gathered the courage to just go for it, grabbing a banana and an apple, at which point someone else also came to take something, probably emboldened after seeing me. Either way, I ate the banana and it was past 8:40 AM when I went to leave the backpack at the wardrobe, ending up handing it to someone from the relay section, since the line for the half marathon section was longer and someone from the relay section was asking half marathon runners to leave their things there as well. And the girl who took it removed the sticker from it, even though this time around they did seem to stick, and placed it on the rope straps. Then I walked out of the Square, once again choosing to use the toilets that are closer to the starting area… And then finding the starting area already packed, and even though the signs that indicated the sectors had appeared again, there was still a single entrance, at the back, and at first I couldn’t even advance. But others were trying to make their way forward, so I did my best to follow while eating a protein bar which I had taken with me, and I managed to get just in front of the 1:50 pacemakers before the start. I had hoped to reach the 1:45 pacemakers, but I couldn’t… And in the end that proved to be my place anyway.

Maybe I should have tried to keep advancing after the start was given, gaining some more seconds, but I didn’t, waiting until those who were ahead of me could get moving and going with the crowd, which led to a start time that was 1:14 on my stopwatch, the official one being 1:15. That was still better than last year, but I couldn’t quite remember what my start time had been at that very moment and, either way, it seemed too much, and at the time I thought that my target should be 4:54 per kilometer if I was to once again have an official time below 1:45, though that actually included a small buffer, the actual time needed being exactly 4:55, assuming just under 30 seconds on that final portion. Not that I actually thought that I could manage something like that again, plus that it had been announced that there were going to be two supply points, at five and 12 kilometers, where bars and gels and other such products were going to be available, and if enough would be left by the time I reached those points, I was planning to sacrifice some time in order to get some supplies for the marathon.
I still wanted to at least do well enough on the first part, however, meaning to stay on target for the first ten kilometers, so until we’ll pass by the finish, since once again the ten kilometer and half marathon races were mixed, so at that point the ten kilometer runners finished while the rest of us went around the finish line. And the first kilometer really surprised me, since it was hard to make it through the crowd and I expected to be noticeably slower, but in fact the time was exactly 4:54. And on the second kilometer I limited the loss caused by that bad climb quite well, covering it in 5:00. And then I could start gaining time, covering the next three kilometers in 4:53, 4:48 and 4:43, respectively, getting ever closer to the 1:45 pacemakers and actually catching them just before that first 180° turn, on Kiseleff. However, I took that turn quite poorly and some of the people from that group passed me again, and one of them stepped on my foot a little, so I was among them when I reached that first refreshment point, which was immediately after the marker for five kilometers.
At each refreshment point, I took a piece of banana and one cup of water and one of that other drink, but even drinking caused me to lose more that first time, since I struggled to finish the first cup before getting the second and couldn’t really do so despite slowing a lot, so I wasn’t sure what to do and lost a few more seconds before finally deciding to pour what was left in the first cup into the second. And that announced supply point indeed followed immediately, and I was surprised to see all of the different products and, while I more or less knew what that sponsor had and what I wanted, I definitely hadn’t checked their products well enough to be able to identify and grab those things in such a hurry. Then again, it’s also possible that the better products were only available at the second supply point, since I don’t recall seeing gels, liquid magnesium or even salt bars at that first one. I might have missed them, of course, since those pacemakers were pulling ahead again and I was trying to limit the loss of time, but what I clearly saw were jelly bars and what I tend to call their regular bars, so I grabbed one of each, without even trying to pick a specific kind. However, I then ended up losing quite a number of seconds while struggling to stuff those bars into the pocket of my tights and zip the pocket once again, since I had the other protein bar, the gel and the Smecta Go which I had taken with me in there as well, and that was despite thinking that it’d have probably been better to just hold them in my hand for the next few kilometers, until that steep climb, when I meant to slow to a walk and eat a bar anyway. And the added weight made my tights feel uncomfortable for a while. Despite all of that, pushing after I finally did get back to running meant that I still limited the loss of time reasonably well, covering that sixth kilometer in 5:08.
I was probably pushing a little too hard at that point and knew it, but at the same time I wanted to get ahead of the 1:45 pacemakers as soon as possible, in order to afford to lose time on that steep climb and at the second refreshment point and still not be behind them at ten kilometers. And I did get ahead of them before the first relay changing point, which was at about 6.5 kilometers, though I can’t remember whether I somehow managed to do so even before reaching six kilometers or not. Either way, since one of those pacemakers had pulled a little ahead of the rest and I recognized him as that guy whom I tend to consider as the “second in command” of that group that organizes that night run, when I passed and greeted him I meant to say that they’ll catch and pass me again after ten kilometers and I’ll likely finish closer to the 1:50 pacemakers than to them. But I didn’t, and that estimate proved too optimistic anyway. Still, at that point I could push and did so, the seventh kilometer being my best, covered in 4:42, while the eighth was covered in 4:43. It included going down a slope, however, so I was starting to slow more than that mere second might appear to indicate. But I was relatively content with covering the ninth kilometer in 5:04, since it included that short but steep climb and I also ate a bar, though I did lose an additional amount of time in order to dig one out of my pocket and it ended up being the jelly bar, so I just ate it even though I had meant to keep that one for the marathon. If I’d have just kept those two bars in my hand until then, it’d have been no problem to eat the right one, I wouldn’t have had to take any out and would have just had to stuff one in, so I’d have lost significantly less time as well… Though I’m not sure how holding them would have affected my times until that point.
The next kilometer, also covered in 5:04, was the tenth, and it included going down that slope that’s at the end of Victoriei, which definitely helped, but also the second refreshment point, which obviously meant another loss of time, even though just drinking what I could from the first cup until I could get the second and then immediately pouring what was left into it meant that I reduced that loss a little. It wasn’t enough to prevent the 1:45 pacemakers from overtaking me again, but I dug into what reserves I still had and was just at the head of the group when we went past the finish, so at ten kilometers. And if at first I meant to switch to damage limitation mode and let them pull ahead after going around Constitution Square, especially since the next 5.5 kilometers or so were going to be against the wind, I found that I could stay at the head of the group a little longer and decided to do so until a little after 11 kilometers, to only fall back with ten kilometers left. And the fact that they slowed a little definitely helped, since I stayed at the head of the group despite covering that 11th kilometer in 5:12. And after dropping to the back of the group at what should have been 11.1 kilometers, I realized that I could stay there a while longer and should actually try to do so, because they were shielding me from that headwind, so I was still there at the end of the 12th kilometer, which I covered in 5:11.
That second supply point came immediately after the marker for 12 kilometers. It was on its own, refreshment points being roughly every five kilometers, and it seemed larger than the first one, and I also saw gels and liquid magnesium, and there’s a part of one of the tables that I didn’t see at all, since I quickly grabbed a bar and a gel from the first table, then sort of avoided the guy who was standing in front of the second table and holding something out because I had seen liquid magnesium there and definitely wanted one for the marathon, so I grabbed one of those and then moved on, not even noticing what was in that guy’s hand or on the other part of that table. And I only realized after I actually looked at what I had grabbed that the bar wasn’t only another regular one, but in fact the exact same kind as the one which I had grabbed at the first such point as well, and which I still had. And then I lost quite some time because I once again struggled to stuff everything into the pocket of my tights, which added enough weight on that side to make me feel quite uncomfortable, unbalanced and thinking that my tights were really going to slip down, despite being tied pretty tightly. I considered moving a bar to that small pouch that’s meant for keys, but I wasn’t sure I’ll be able to and didn’t want to lose even more time, so I just dealt with the situation from then on, and I’m sure that the discomfort had an effect of my times as well. Either way, I covered that 13th kilometer in 5:31, which came as quite a shock even though it should have been expected if you think about it, considering the previous kilometer’s time. The bigger problem, however, was that it meant that I lost contact with the 1:45 group, so I had no more protection from that headwind, and the times that followed definitely showed that.
True, the next kilometer, covered in 5:40, included climbing the slope on Decebal, which is slight but pretty long, and also eating the gel grabbed from that supply point, which also meant digging it out of the pocket. So I should have once again held it in my hand instead of stuffing it there and then needing to dig it back out, but I had wondered whether to eat it then or after the next refreshment point, and possibly even after the 180° turn, only deciding to eat it then when I noticed that I was having a harder time with that slope and the wind than I thought I would, so I pretty much walked while eating it, resting a little. And then I lost some more time with the next refreshment point, so the next kilometer was even slower, being covered in 5:43.
I knew that I was losing a lot of time, but I didn’t really calculate what it added up to until that turn, which actually came where it did before and not at that slightly earlier point that was marked on the map. Either way, after that turn I saw how close behind me the 1:50 group was and realized that I was doing much worse than I thought, and after passing the marker for 16 kilometers, having covered that kilometer in 5:34, I actually calculated… And I realized that I was looking at 1:52! So I tried to dig into what little reserves I still had, and the fact that the wind was behind me after that turn obviously helped quite a bit as well, so the next two kilometers were covered in 5:17 and 5:24, respectively, and most of the difference was probably because of the headwind that once again appeared around Alba Iulia Square. It still meant that I had no chance to even stay under 1:50 as official time, but I meant to give it absolutely everything and try to at least avoid being overtaken by the 1:50 group, since the pacemakers run according to the real time and their start time had been slightly worse than mine, after all. It was an awfully disappointing goal to have, but it was the only one left at that point, and I had serious doubts that even that was realistic.
The last refreshment point was just before the marker for 19 kilometers, so covering that kilometer in what was probably 5:44 should have been expected, but it meant that the 1:50 group was right on my heels and the situation seemed hopeless, though the fact that the marker was just after the refreshment point instead of just before it made me wonder whether it hadn’t been moved a little. I do believe that the line painted on the pavement was there as well, which should have confirmed the correct placement of the sign, but I was trying to drink and eat as efficiently as possible and not paying enough attention to be absolutely sure. In fact, I only noticed the sign when I passed by it, and my hands being full meant that I also failed to press the button on the stopwatch, so the time is calculated according to what I saw, which means it I might have actually reached the marker a second earlier… Not that it makes much of a difference. And it still means that the next kilometer was surprisingly fast, being covered in 4:58 if the time I saw was the correct one, so it couldn’t have been more than five minutes even if I looked a little late when I passed 19 kilometers. However, while I did push like crazy on that kilometer, giving everything and deciding that I’ll see what I’ll do over the final kilometer when I’ll get there, this surprisingly fast time for this point in the race once again makes me think that the marker for 19 kilometers might have been moved a little.
Either way, pushing that hard carried a price, my legs were heavy and the time for the 21st kilometer was 5:44, with no doubts about where the painted markers were. Admittedly, there was also a point when I looked behind me and saw that I had put what I thought was a pretty safe distance between me and the 1:50 group over that 20th kilometer and I might have relaxed a little too much, but as I reached Constitution Square once again I suddenly noticed the first of the 1:50 pacemakers out of the corner of my eye and realized that I was about to be passed by them. It was shocking, as until that very moment I thought that I was somehow going to at least manage to stay safely ahead of them, not even really believing that I could do so poorly as to fail to do so when they had just about caught me at that last refreshment point, even though my pace had been much worse than theirs for so long. But that was the reality, and my last chance was an absolutely desperate dash to the finish line even though I felt completely drained. And that resulted in covering that final stretch in 28 seconds and at least managing to stay just ahead of the 1:50 pacemakers. However, the time listed on my stopwatch was 1:50:39, and the official one was 1:50:41, so there is another second missing, on top of the one from the beginning, which may mean that I actually covered those final meters in 29 seconds. Either way, the official real time was 1:49:26, which is over six minutes worse than last year’s…

I couldn’t even get this far before midnight, editing in order to add the last two paragraphs above a little later. Then I edited the post again, Tuesday afternoon, in order to add the rest of this paragraph and the following section. And the rest, starting from that fair from Unirii Park, was added before I went to bed Wednesday morning. And I should also point out that the entire part about the actual race was written from memory, three weeks after the fact, the only notes that I was able to make before then consisting of the times for each kilometer and mentioning whether it included a refreshment or supply point or a slope or if I ate.

Yes, I was disappointed after failing to reach my goal in 2016 and 2019 as well, while in 2021 I was slower than I had been before, but in this latter case it was entirely expected, considering how I felt, and the time was actually much better than I thought it’d be, so I was pleased with the result, while in 2016 it was my first official run and in 2019 that target was extremely ambitious for that moment and all of my calculations had shown that I won’t be able to make it. This time around, however, when I was thinking that I’ll end up closer to 1:50 than to 1:45, I was thinking of 1:48, or maybe, after factoring in the loss of time caused by getting those supplies for the marathon, just failing to stay under 1:48 as real time and therefore having an official time approaching 1:49:30. But that was the worst case scenario, and remained so until I saw how close the 1:50 pacemakers were, after that turn, and while the final result wasn’t as bad as what I calculated after that moment, I didn’t really believe those calculations, thinking that once I started pushing harder, I’ll somehow recover much of that lost time, and staying well ahead of those pacemakers won’t really be a problem. So it’s not just that I was a little over a minute slower than that worst case scenario, but that I was shocked by it, simply not believing that things could go so badly until the last moment. And when my typical mindset is to expect the worst, that shows just how terrible the result really was.
But, to return to that day’s events, I’m pretty sure that I had already received the medal but definitely hadn’t yet reached the finishers’ area when I spotted a box with some apples and I think one last orange, and I took an apple and the orange. Then, in the finishers’ area, I first went to the water, drinking a cup and grabbing a bottle, then also drank a cup of that other drink, of the kind that I hadn’t seen during the race, though it’s likely that only the flavor differed. Then I took two pieces of orange, one at a time, and ate them, and as I sat down to peel the second piece, a guy asked whether I was fine and I said that I was, and after he said that I’ll have cramps if I sit and I once again said that I was fine, I realized that I really was, perhaps too fine. Either way, I had spotted an apple that had fallen from the tables where fruits were sliced and since it was still there after I finished the orange pieces, I grabbed it as well, then I drank another cup of that other drink and grabbed another water bottle before finally leaving that area and going to retrieve my bag from the wardrobe.
When the person who started looking for my bag didn’t seem to be able to find it, I was starting to worry, but someone else joined her after a while and it was eventually found. I had tied those rope straps around the opening before handing it over and they were untied when I got it back, but nothing else seemed to have happened, so maybe they had just untied it so it’ll be easier to hang, though I usually tie the bag in that manner and don’t recall getting it back untied before. But two guys were behind me while I was waiting and one asked the other whether he was fine, and when the other said that he was, the first said that it’s not fine if you’re fine after a race, since it means that you didn’t give everything, which obviously reminded me of the fact that I had sort of thought the same thing after that other guy asked whether I was fine. Either way, I then put on the jacket and took out the other things that I was going to need, including the old camera, which I had taken with me, and moved everything else into my backpack, which had also been in the bag, also adding what I had grabbed.
After struggling to use one of those portable things in order to wash my hands a little, I saw that protein milk and protein yogurt were being offered in the Zuzu Fit area, so I took one of each. Then, after just walking past the areas where there were contests or raffles, I went to the place that offered hot dogs and took one, then went to the Mega Image area in order to sit down and eat it. I also checked what was still available in those baskets, and those from that side only had one kind of apples left, but someone else was telling another person that they still had the other kind of apples, as well as bananas, on the other side, so after I finished eating I went there and grabbed another banana and an apple of that other kind, and also what seemed to be the last pear.
That left just one more thing to do, having a picture taken, and I had seen something about one of the sponsors taking pictures in their area and the place where that should happen was obvious, but the message which I had seen seemed to indicate that pictures were taken automatically, at random intervals, and when I had passed by that spot, girls wearing that company’s t-shirts formed a tight human wall around the camera, so making use of that didn’t seem to be an option and I still had to ask someone, which meant needing to work up the courage to do so… And when I finally managed to get myself to go for it, the person I had meant to go to was just about to walk away and ignored me. And I knew that I was going to lose that courage if I won’t try again quickly, so I quickly picked another “target”, hovered around while they talked, and when I saw that they were also about to leave I rather butted in and asked the guy. And after he agreed I told him that the camera’s old and may not save correctly, asking him to take two pictures and then faking a smile. And, after the woman who was with him offered to hold my jacket and I gave it to her, he actually took three pictures, though all were in the same orientation and from farther away than I’d have liked… And I forgot about that smudge, later seeing that it was pretty much right on my face on all of the shots, so it didn’t really matter which one I chose to keep.
Since my brain had pretty much disconnected when I had to interact with someone, it was only after that guy walked away that I realized that I had looked sort of “through” him when he took the pictures and hadn’t memorized his number despite meaning to, just to know who took my picture. So I tried to follow in order to have another look, but didn’t want to be too obvious about it either, so I kept some distance and, after initially also following into the Sport Expo area, I turned around, went back out and waited a short distance away from the entrance, some abdominal cramps and a certain pressing need that suddenly appeared just then meaning that I couldn’t have really moved for a few moments even if I’d have wanted to, at least not without fearing a certain accident… However, when that guy did appear again, he was holding something in front of his number and I still couldn’t see it from where I was. I did see the number of the woman who was with him, and that allowed me to quickly identify him as well once the pictures from the race were up, but at that point I didn’t know whether it’d be enough, so I was still following a short distance behind them when I walked out of Constitution Square, at 11:45 AM. But wanting to be even less obvious about it led to trying to use a slightly different route, the plan being to catch up to them if they’ll cross the road or end up alongside them but on the other side of that green space if they won’t. But the actual result was that I just lost them, so after hesitating for a moment I crossed the road, looked a little more from the other side, then sort of stood around for a while, watching as the last runners came past that area and trying to decide what to do next.

Since I once again found that fair in Unirii Park when I got there, I had a look around, paying closer attention to a stand where socks were being sold. Also checked one with paintings for some reason, but then I returned to that one with the socks and asked about them, being told that a single cotton pair was left, and it was cheap, but the size was too large. The rest were made of bamboo fiber and I had actually considered trying some of those already, after seeing some in stores, but at first I once again walked away… Only to stop a short distance away, think about it a little longer and then return and buy three pairs, since the third was at half price in that case, resulting in a reasonable price per pair. And I bought them even though only dark colors were left, and on top of the fact that I just don’t like dark colors, it also means that it’ll be next to impossible to tell which are mine and which are dad’s after washing. Maybe, if I’m really careful, I’ll be able to tell the dark gray ones apart from his, but instead of at least picking three pairs like that, for some reason I picked two of those and a dark blue one, which I still don’t know how I’ll manage to tell apart from some of his. I guess the material feels somewhat different, but the risk of mixing them is very high, and it’s quite clear that sooner or later he’ll assume that they’re his and take them even if I will be able to tell them apart when I take them out of the washing machine and try to hang them to dry separately.
Either way, I then went to pee at that McDonald’s, after which I put on the mask and went to Carrefour, entering with everything and, on top of just wasting time, since I didn’t find anything to get, also ending up in an awkward situation, since I had taken everything out of my jacket’s pockets before walking back out, expecting the guard to want to check, but that time around he did want to check the backpack as well and the fruits, the protein milk and yogurt, the bars, all of those things could have been taken from there, so I tried to be as calm and confident as possible when I told him that I was coming from the half marathon and had plenty of things in the backpack which I had grabbed from there, pointing to the number and saying that it should prove that I was there, and the medal was next to it as well. Of course, the fact that I had been there didn’t mean that I couldn’t have taken those things from the store, especially when the protein milk and yogurt and the banana were right at the top, but after pulling those out for a moment and having a look, he put them back and let me go. The fact that I also pointed to the bag where I had those socks and said that “some socks” were in there might have had something to do with it as well, if he assumed that those were the socks worn during the race, but I only realized that later.
After that, I took the metro to Obor, and dad called after I got off, while I was on my way to the farmers’ market, obviously not understanding how I was feeling or why would I be affected in that manner and ending the conversation rather in a huff when I guess that I was looking for a shoulder to lean on, not that I could ever hope for anything of the sort from him. So I had to somehow pull myself together again and decided to have a look through the farmers’ market after all, looking for cheap apples and finding a crate in the indoor area that seemed to contain apples that’d normally be cheap but which were nevertheless better than the other cheap apples that I had seen. No price was listed, however, so after I finished looking around I got back there and asked, and when I was told that they were just 1 RON / kg I put some in a bag, asked how much it weighed and, even though I saw 2.339 kg on the scales, I was told that it’ll just be 2 RON. And they turned out to be very tasty, and only a few were actually spoiling, and my mother also asked for some since then, so I really should have bought more. Either way, I then also had a quick look for those cheap perfumes for dad, asking about the price in one place but not getting any, since it was slightly higher than it had been before.
I did put everything in a cabinet when I got to that Carrefour, then peed one more time before entering the store… And just wasting some more time, so I then retrieved what I had in the cabinet and only put the apples back in one when I reached Kaufland, entering with the backpack, but still not finding anything to get, so I just retrieved the apples and continued to Penny, where I once again put everything in a cabinet and at least bought some sweets, most of them for dad, finding a way to squeeze them into the backpack after retrieving what I had in the cabinet.
I then got back to the metro station, picking up another one of those bottles that went towards that 10 RON voucher from Penny on the way, and deciding to go to Pallady next, to also check that Auchan. And at least they have cabinets at that location, so I once again put my things in one, but the expiring products no longer had higher discounts than at other locations and the regular ones are usually too low to be worth getting such products from Auchan, and I didn’t find anything else to get either, so I retrieved my things from the cabinet, once again put them in one when I got to that Kaufland as well, and only got some yogurt from there, meaning that this entire trip was one more waste of time, since I could have bought that yogurt from that other Kaufland, and maybe I could have found something if I’d have checked the Auchan from Obor instead of rushing back to the metro in order to make this other trip. Either way, I added the yogurt in the cabinet and peed one more time, then retrieved everything, arranged, and went back to the metro station… Only to be so tired and distracted that I somehow failed to notice the metro in the station! The board only listed the one for the other direction as being about to arrive and after seeing that I just sort of stood there, largely unaware of what was going on around me and only realizing that there were trains on both sides when there were two announcements about doors closing. So I wasted yet more time, waiting for the next one.

I got back at 6:40 PM, though after cleaning the litter box I went to throw a bag of trash down the chute. Then I put everything except the apples in their place, went to the toilet, showered, ate a pretzel and a large bag of corn puffs, and wrote the part of the post about Eurovision that I managed to post before midnight, but I was too depressed to do anything else or even have a proper lunch, much less dinner, so at night I just ate an apple, probably the one picked off the pavement in the finishers’ area, and also finally washed what had been left in the kitchen. I was shaking… But at least I also managed to get all the apples in the fridge. And I’ll also add here that the following night I ate dinner between 3:05 AM and 3:40 AM.

I’m not sure how much was lost in the Romanian translation of this book, but it’d have also been translated if I’d have read it in English and the sensationalist English title, “Our House Is on Fire: Scenes of a Family and a Planet in Crisis”, makes me have doubts about the rest of that translation anyway, even more so when the original title, “Scenes from the Heart”, preserved in the Romanian edition, fits so well. Because this book is so deeply personal, so incredibly open, so painfully honest, that every word must be from the heart, and this is what makes it worth reading.
True, it makes a great difference if the personal parts are particularly familiar, perhaps even more so if only the problems are, in which case the admission that having the social status, contacts and wealth required to access the solutions needed for such individuals and families to remain more or less functional is such a rare privilege can feel somewhat soothing. And I see that some are bothered by this mix of personal matters and activism, and of neurodivergence and the climate crisis. But, again, the truth is that it’s those personal parts that make this book truly remarkable.
Sure, some of the environmental parts, mainly those stressing the severity of the crisis and pointing out the problems, on every level, as well as how false and even dangerous the popular “solutions” are, can be well written and compelling, but others, mainly those presenting other solutions that are, at least in theory, readily available and expressing a belief that the tide may be turning, are less so. And, either way, a book focusing solely on those matters would have been preaching to the choir. Plus that a book that’s based on data quickly becomes outdated. And I must also mention how infuriating it is when Greta makes a point of arguing against those who dare to fight an even harder battle by raising the overpopulation problem, and doing so in a manner that’s so similar to that used by those who dismiss the climate crisis.

Rating: 4/5

In the early hours of May 10, I went to the kitchen earlier and hoped to be able to start eating dinner at 2 AM, but it was 2:15 AM when I did, after also talking a little to dad and then forgetting to make the tea while working on the salad or slicing bread and therefore setting the water to boil when it was already late, which added some time. And I was struggling to hold off a breakdown while working on the salad and slicing bread, and the fact that dad was awake and around definitely didn’t help. But I somehow managed it, at least to some extent, and when I did start eating I had some of the old peanut butter, to see whether it was still good. It had hardened, but otherwise seemed fine, the other thing that I put on the bread that night being more of a concern, since I had kept it for far too long and it was starting to have a strange taste, and the gas that appeared right away and the way my stomach felt after eating indicated that it had probably been right at the limit of causing worse problems. Either way, I finished eating at 2:50 AM and gave up on the idea of shaving, but even so it was 4:35 AM when I got in bed, after taking way too long to get everything ready for the morning, even more so after deciding to go straight to Auchan after the run, to get bread for dad, so I had to stuff bags and money in the pocket of my tights, though I didn’t also take a mask.
The alarm was set to ring at 8:15 AM, but I woke up at 8 AM, when the computer did the daily backup, and decided to do the tiny exercise routine at that point, though I then waited for the alarm, possibly even falling asleep again just before it rang. Then I got up and had the usual stuff, the apple being the last of the Fuji ones that I still had, even if it was smaller, and the sweet thing consisting of two of those wheat things, one with honey and the other with jam. I also took all of the supplements, including the double dose of iron that I was just switching to that day, for the last five days before the race… And I guess it pretty much counted as taking a double dose of the one with potassium and magnesium too, since I had taken the previous day’s shortly before going to bed. Either way, I unsurprisingly didn’t leave much of anything in the toilet and went out at 9:45 AM, wearing the full running gear, with some things in the pocket of my tights, and an undershirt. The reported temperature was 11-12°C, increasing a little after that but possibly by just 1°C by the time I finished.
The time was 48:17.07, with sector times of 4:12.85, 5:16 (5:15.19), 5:59 (5:58.97), 4:33.12, 5:05.53, 5:56 (5:55.85), 4:31 (4:30.59), 5:02.56, 5:50 (5:49.38) and 1:53.03, making for lap times of 15:27.01, 15:34.50 and 15:23 (15:22.53). The first sector was five seconds slower than it should have been, since I pushed hard from the start, and while the one problem caused by people and the soggy lane might have caused most of that loss of time, there were no such explanations for that bad sector two and I realized that even the chance of staying under 48 minutes was slipping away, and when I barely stayed under six minutes on sector three despite trying to recover that lost time, the target became to just stay under 49 minutes. Still, after sector two and three of lap two were less bad, I thought of 48:30 and tried to push. It seemed like I had a shot after sector one of lap three, even more so after sector two, and I kept pushing in order to be safe at the end of the lap, and since I was I didn’t really push on the final sector anymore. But the result remains poor even in itself, and when it comes to such final practice runs, if you exclude the one that came before the 2021 half marathon, when I was yet to do much about the anemia and swollen feet, then this is the worst one since the very first one, from 2017…
There weren’t many people, so there was some weaving and going the long way around, but the only notable issue was right on the first sector, when I caught two guys with three dogs just when we were all coming out from under the bridge and had to make my way around them, slowing to some extent. On the other hand, the lane was soggy in plenty of places, so I avoided what I could, and there was more damage as well, including a badly damaged spot on sector three, though they seemed to have fixed the spot that was early on sector two. Otherwise, some pain that was likely reflected from my back appeared soon after I started running and I tried to snap my back, but it diminished only slowly. And later I started feeling that the back of my left thigh tended to contract, possibly because I was still sparing that ankle. And there was some wind as well, but the main problem was that I just couldn’t go any faster.

After the run, I first had a look in Supeco and then also checked the expiring products from that Mega Image, then I picked up another one of those bottles that go towards that 10 RON voucher from Penny and continued to Auchan, leaving that bottle outside when I got there. After washing my hands, I got bread for dad, having no problems with the self-checkout until I was done, at which point it said that assistance was required. But I was already done and the receipt was printed, so I caught the eye of an employee, just to let her know that something was going on, and walked away, taking a moment to arrange the bread a little better after leaving the checkout area and then also retrieving that bottle before continuing to Penny. But I didn’t find anything to get from there, so I just put my things in a cabinet and then retrieved them, putting them once again in a cabinet when I got to Kaufland. From there, I got a coconut that was among the spoiling products and some yogurt, having no problems with the self-checkout and then retrieving what I had in the cabinet and arranging everything. By then, it had gotten cloudy and chillier, but I had nothing to do about that, so I also checked that non-stop Mega Image, just putting my things in a cabinet and then retrieving them, and then also went to Carrefour, once again putting everything in a cabinet and getting a couple of things, then retrieving what I had in the cabinet and arranging.
So I went to all of those places without a mask, and I’ve done something similar again since then, in large part because so few people still wear one, and most of those who do are old, so instead of acting as a layer of protection when it came to interacting with people, which noticeably reduced my anxiety during these past three years, wearing one now seems to no longer be socially acceptable and makes me stand out, so it tends to worsen the stress and anxiety… At a time when my mental state is so bad anyway.
Either way, I got back just before 3 PM, had lunch, and then I struggled and finally managed to make another call that has to do with what I can’t get myself to write about. But it was as pointless as anything else I’ve tried to do about it, before or since… And it made me eat a box of caramelized walnuts before leaving again. I had meant to eat it after I’ll get back again, in the evening, but I felt the need for it after that call. On the other hand, at least I also did the day’s squats.
I left again at 7:35 PM, wearing a mask and taking the metro, since dad said that he wanted to drive to and from work, so I had his metro card. I just went to Obor, but I checked four Mega Image locations and one Shop & Go from that area, getting a few Kapia peppers that were among the spoiling products in the second Mega Image, without being charged for the bag. They were imported, but I hadn’t seen Romanian ones anywhere and in that location they were listed as being from Greece, so at least from the EU, and I chose to believe the label even though in all other Mega Image locations it said that they were from Turkey. Either way, I stuffed that bag in a pocket and entered the other locations with it, and in the last Mega Image I found chili peppers among the spoiling products and meant to get a bag for dad. However, I couldn’t find them on the shelf, so I didn’t know the price and also thought that there was a chance to find an evening discount for them at Kaufland, and that Mega Image closes later, so I put the bag that seemed to contain the best ones at the bottom of the pile and walked out.
I also checked Penny, and the guard stopped me when I was leaving and asked me to unzip my jacket, so I did that and showed him what I had in the inside pockets, but he still patted me for a moment before saying that it was fine. He never checked the pocket where I had those Kapia peppers, however. Either way, it seemed that the trash hadn’t been gathered at all in that area and at first I meant to gather ten bottles and put them in that machine, but after picking up the two that went towards that other voucher, I only spotted two others that were clean and would certainly be accepted and easy to get, without digging through trash or being right next to occupied benches, so I just kept those two that went towards that voucher and walked away, ending up wasting a little more time by going to the next crossing and then walking back from there.
Carrefour was next, and I put the Kapia peppers and the bottles in a cabinet, then I got an expiring product for dad and also meant to get two beers for him, since there should have been a discount for the second one. However, they seemed to have changed their schedule for sales and the ones that I knew of had apparently ended the previous day, since I didn’t see any label announcing that discount anymore and when I went to the self-checkout, after paying for the other product separately, I scanned the beers and no discount applied, so I motioned to the guy who was at the computer to clear the transaction and walked out, retrieving my things from the cabinet and stuffing the purchases in my pockets, so I just put those bottles back in a cabinet when I got to Kaufland, not caring for the fact that it didn’t lock. Then I washed my hands and entered the store when it was past 9:40 PM, maybe closer to 9:45 PM, and just got a couple of things, rushing to the self-checkout when it was announced that the store had closed and needing to call an employee to override the error when the machine said that the kohlrabi was not the correct product. Then I took my time to put the purchases from there and the bottles from the cabinet in the backpack, ripping the leaves off the kohlrabi in order to make all of it fit in a bag and throwing away the naked stem parts, before stopping once again after walking out, to also add what I had in my pockets and arrange everything better. And I saw a cart with a coin in it in the parking lot when I walked away, so I connected it to others and retrieved the coin.
I then returned to that Mega Image, entering with the backpack and finding that bag of chili peppers still where I had placed it, even though the others that I had placed over it had been moved. I still couldn’t find a price label, however, so I asked at the checkout, then bought it, once again not being charged for the bag. Then I rather rushed back to the metro, just grabbing another one of those bottles that go towards that voucher off the street, just as I was crossing to the station, so I only added the chili peppers, along with that bottle, in the backpack as I was waiting for the metro, arranging everything once again after doing so.
I got back right at 11 PM, though after cleaning the litter box I went to drop a bag of trash down the chute. I’m not sure how I had managed to remain somewhat functional until then, after that call and the resulting hopelessness and despair, but at that point I was so out of it, nearly stunned… But a little after 12:10 AM I went to take a bath, being done an hour later. Then I also sliced three breads for dad and washed and cleaned what I could out of what was in the kitchen, finally starting to eat dinner at 3:35 AM. I finished at 4 AM and got in bed at 5:20 AM.

And now I should have moved on to the day of the half marathon, but I just can’t get myself to write about that either. I definitely mean to write about it, just like I mean to write about April 8, so it won’t end up like the period spent in the hospital… But I did so badly that it feels like a trauma, so I just can’t, at least for now. But wasting a personal post on a single day that’s not such an important event is unacceptable, so I guess I’ll also add Thursday here, since that’s when I went to Bookfest.
I initially meant to leave at 4 PM, switching to 4:30 PM after learning that dad didn’t need the metro card, but then he started getting ready to cook and would have messed things up even more if I wouldn’t have helped with something, so it was past 5:05 PM when I finally did leave, after first going to drop a bag of trash down the chute, then returning in order to also grab the recyclables. I still made the small detour needed in order to drop them off in a recycling bin, however, not walking all the way to the metro station with them again. And I once again didn’t wear a mask when I’d have done so before, taking one with me but not putting it on for that metro ride or even at the fair, which I reached a little after 6:20 PM, after getting off at Aviatorilor and trying a different route that was supposed to be a little shorter but getting confused and losing some time instead.
I entered the hall through the last door, looked left and the second publisher I saw was the one that I knew focused on Romanian science fiction and fantasy, so I started looking, hesitating a little before the person who was there gestured for me to enter that small stand, at which point I did. But I still had the music on and definitely didn’t mean to interact in any way, yet she got up and asked what should she tell me about, insisting despite the fact that I said that I was just looking, asking whether I preferred science fiction or fantasy and then what kind of fantasy, and when she continued, getting into specifics, I turned off the music and rather grudgingly paid more attention, eventually asking about the price of the series that she recommended and then saying that I’ll look around and maybe return later. And I did keep that series in mind and might have ended up buying it if I’d have found something else to add that was cheap enough to get close to the maximum amount that I meant to spend, without going over it, but I guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t, because I checked some reviews after getting back and saw that the author wrote science fiction before, the stories take place in the same universe and some important details tend to require reading those other books, which I’d otherwise have no interest in.
Either way, I then tried to make a plan and looked all around, finding a Leftist publisher, which I kept in mind just in case, and two other Romanian fantasy publishers that I didn’t know about, plus some fantasy books in another place that I only checked at the very end, since it was right in front of that first stand and that first interaction had messed me up quite badly, so I had a very hard time persuading myself to get back in that area. But, to return to those other fantasy publishers, I don’t care about reading fantasy in Romanian, and when it’s actually written by Romanian authors it seems even worse, but I look in part because I wonder whether anything would change my impression and in part because I just want the genre to develop and be more successful here as well. And loud music was playing in the stand of the first of those two new publishers, so I knew that conversation was not expected and I was indeed allowed to check out books without anyone saying anything. Things might have been different if I’d have actually entered the stand of that second new fantasy publisher that I found, and the prices, which contrasted with those from the other one, which struck me as unreasonably high even with the discounts, did make me want to do so, but two authors were there at the time, the few other people who had gathered meaning that the small space was filled anyway, and what I saw gave me the impression that they focused on paranormal romance, so I passed by the stand a few times but didn’t actually pick up any of the books. And when I checked after getting back I confirmed that impression about their focus, though not all of their books fit in that genre and I actually saw at least one that seemed interesting, if not two, and the discounted price would have made it worth the risk.
Back to the fair, I did avoid Seneca, as in those who also make and send those packages that I tend to volunteer to help put together, until the manager seemed to have left, since she’d have probably recognized me, but otherwise it was a relief that I was pretty much ignored by everyone except that first person and an author who was at the stand of some other publisher that I was just checking without actually being interested, who came to me, pointed out her book and asked whether I wanted her to tell me about it, at which point I just said that I didn’t and walked away. Even when I quite thoroughly checked the books in English that were available at the place that I got something from last year, the two people who were there didn’t say anything even when I had to stand right next to one of them in order to check a certain section. I didn’t find anything to buy from there this time around, however.
Still, I did end up buying two books. They’re in Romanian and nonfiction, and the first, An Immense World, came from a publisher that seems to have quite a few other potentially interesting titles. They’re just titles that I’d want to read, not necessarily also own, especially since they’re translated in Romanian, but I did end up buying that one, and then I went back to Seneca, since the manager didn’t seem to be there anymore, and got Scenes from the Heart. After deciding to try checking the Library once again after getting back, I saw that the catalog was finally back on-line and this second book is also available in one location, but I mainly purchased it in order to support them, since they actually have a collection of environmental books, print on recycled paper, plant trees for those books, and also use a part of the sales for those other programs that they have.
The fair was supposed to close at 8 PM that day and that time was approaching as I made those purchases, so I was rather rushing, but I walked out at 7:55 PM without hearing any sort of announcement, and I also can’t say that I noticed anyone gathering their things and getting ready to close. On the other hand, I finally did put on the mask just before getting back to the metro station, going to Carrefour Orhideea and actually taking the metro all the way instead of getting off at Basarab and then walking, which might be slightly faster even if I use the right exit… But I used the wrong one, being confused by the fact that I wasn’t coming from the direction that I pretty much always come from when I get there by metro, and then had to wait more at the stoplights. And going there proved to be a complete waste of time anyway. At least I entered with the backpack, and confirmed that they do still make that bread in that location, even though they don’t seem to make it at Unirii anymore, and I’m not sure about Park Lake either, finding two left even at that hour, but when we couldn’t even fit the bread that we already had in the freezer, I didn’t get any, and I didn’t find anything else either.
I then walked to Kaufland, using the toilet and then once again entering with the backpack, since I just had those books in it. It was 9:20 PM at that point and nothing that I cared to get was left in the bakery area, but some green onions were left and they had an evening discount, and on top of the actual bundles there was also a pile of cut tops in the next crate, so I initially grabbed three bundles and those tops, but in the end I put two of the bundles back, just buying one, in order to justify also getting those tops… Not that anyone said anything. Either way, I also got some cheese and the one bag of spoiling bananas, even if they were discounted only by a little over 50% and the base price was quite high, since I opened it and they seemed to be quite good when I looked… Though when I ate one after getting back I saw that it had been a wrong impression and I probably shouldn’t have bought them. And the fact that I did also led to needing to wait for an employee, since I went to the self-checkout just before closing time but was still waiting for someone to get to me when the announcement came, since those bananas wouldn’t scan. And the employee who finally came after a while asked me to read the code, since she couldn’t see it, and after logging on and entering it she also added the charge for the bag. I’m pretty sure that it’s the first time when I get charged for a bag that I’m forced to use in this manner at Kaufland, but I just frowned and paid, then arranged the purchases in the backpack and went back to the metro, ending up waiting ten minutes and not even using them to protect the books a little better, only thinking to put them in one more bag and arrange things a little differently in the backpack while on the metro. But that seems to have been good enough, the brine from the cheese not getting to them.
I got back a little after 10:45 PM, once again went to drop a bag of trash down the chute after cleaning the litter box… And I realized that it was going to be a long night when I saw how much I had to clean after dad had cooked. So I ate what was still usable from a banana, something sweet and some yogurt with oats while taking care of a part of the washing and cleaning, then I went to drop another bag of trash down the chute and finally went to shower when it was 1:35 AM. I was done just over half an hour later, but I still had plenty to do, so I eventually ate dinner between 4 AM and 4:45 AM.

At least I managed to post what’s above before midnight, but this next part should probably also be in this post, so I edited it about half an hour later in order to add that things might have been different if I’d have rushed to go to bed that morning. Probably not, since I doubt that they’d have noticed the problem soon enough, but at least I wouldn’t have been affected by what made me write the previous post just then. As it was, however, I decided to check some more things, including HonestGamers, saw two comments on my review for Blades of Heaven, which was the most recent one that was listed, and clicking to see them led to having my password stolen, in plain text! I only realized that the next day, but knowing that the account had probably been compromised made me change that password right away, being relieved that seeing those posts about the site having been hacked had made me wary enough to avoid using any that might lead to other relevant accounts being compromised as well. And then I sent them a message about it and finally got in bed at 6:10 AM.
When I did realize what had really happened and how easy it is to harvest passwords from that site, I sent another message, that one somewhat angrier, and took my time to make sure that nothing else could be compromised, which mostly implied checking accounts that I hadn’t used in years, reactivating one despite not meaning to, deleting one that I was sure I had already deleted and finding that a few others had been deleted, either for inactivity or after changes to the sites, so there should be nothing left that uses any form of that password or any that someone who has it might be likely to figure out.
And since I already got to that next day, I’ll also mention here that I ate dinner between 3:35 AM and 4:20 AM and then I got in bed a couple of minutes after 5:15 AM. And this morning I finally managed to stick to the dinner schedule once again, but I ended up getting in bed at 5:20 AM, and after getting up to pee a little after 8:30 AM it was really hard to get back to sleep, my mind constantly getting back to what I can’t get myself to write about, so I only slept for a couple more hours after that, despite staying in bed until 1:30 PM or so.

I guess I won’t remove the links from my previous post, but it should be easy to understand why I won’t include any in this one, since the point is that it seems to be shockingly easy to inject code on HonestGamers and harvest passwords from anyone who views it while logged on. It’s sad to need to say this right after joining and being rather glad to see that the site was still active and kept its focus and old school look and feel and functionality, and the fact that it was now done through comments posted on one of my reviews even makes me feel rather guilty, but when it’s so easy to do, and also considering the announcements that I saw about the site having been hacked and the hacker continuing to have access, at least at one point, even after the administrator’s password was changed, it has probably been going on for some time, since it’s such an easy and lucrative target and the method hadn’t yet been discovered, or at least nothing at all was done about it.
I won’t go into more detail here, and what I noticed may well not be the only method used anyway, but be warned: If you use HonestGamers, having an account and viewing the site while logged on, your password has probably been stolen, in plain text, probably more than once, and changing it may well lead to the new one being harvested just as well until they’ll find a way to stop it from happening. And if it’s so easy to inject code, this may well be only a part of what may be, and possibly has been, delivered through that site. So make sure that any password you ever used on that site, as well as any that’s similar to any that you used there, isn’t used anywhere else, and be very careful in general.