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Quick Review: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love

This book quickly won me over by slamming just that typical approach that generates my highly negative attitude towards anything coming from mental health professionals, therapists or counselors in related fields, relationships obviously being one. The entire “Dependency Is Not a Bad Word” section struck me as excellent, explaining the “dependency paradox” and flatly stating that dependency on your partner is a fact and this push towards independence, telling people that they’re responsible for their own happiness and seeing codependency so negatively, is wrong and harmful. In addition, while somewhat less directly, seeking passion and “highs” in relationships is also argued against, as are various other detrimental relationship or dating strategies that are so often recommended, these being replaced with mostly great advice and strategies for steady, secure relationships where each takes responsibility for the other. And, crucially, it’s also stated that fundamental personality traits simply are and in most cases can’t be changed.
Still, while far more restrained and justified than what usually happens, the various arguments and methods for people to change certain behaviors that are presented did seem to somewhat contradict that stance and occasionally bothered me. But I disliked the “abundance philosophy” even more, the mostly great advice for maintaining and even fixing relationships seeming diminished by the focus on dating, searching for a suitable partner by trying many, being willing to give up on relationships and move on. Also, if attachment styles would be such a determining factor of relationship success and the majority would truly be secure, far more people would quite easily have long, steady, fulfilling relationships. In fact, while they do work for most, three categories are too few to fit everyone, and only allowing for one combination doesn’t help much. That combination may be the one that this highly damaging typical approach that is, refreshingly, so firmly rejected in this book is likely to generate, but the other two strike me as far more likely, many people being partially secure. And I’d be one, as even according to the tests in the book I’m an almost even secure-anxious mix.

Rating: 4/5

Written by Cavalary on June 4, 2022 at 11:59 PM in Books | 0 Comments

Remaining Odds and Ends from April and the Start of May

On April 11, I got up when the alarm rang, at 12:30 PM, and left a little after 2:10 PM, taking the recyclables, which I dropped off in a bin on the way. I had to get somewhere by 3 PM, in order to hand over a form required to make an on-line account, as weird as that sounds, which my parents said was required before they could finally “fire” me from dad’s firm, but while I was a little worried at first, it ended up being just fine, since I was there after just 25 minutes. Then I asked the guards who were at the entrance where to go in order to make that account, they pointed me upstairs, I handed over the form and my ID card, was given another form to fill… And realized that I hadn’t taken a pen. But I looked around and spotted one on the floor, so I picked it up and used it, then also handed in that form, retrieved my ID card and was out of there at 2:45 PM.
The next stop was the mall where another branch of Tei is, being surprised by the size of the place. And it also had products that the site didn’t list as available, so after getting the peanut butter and also some pills for dad and confirming that I should get one of the supplements I wanted for myself from the main branch, the site listing it as being a little cheaper there, I wandered around, looking at various things, and eventually got the other things I had on my list as well, since they were available and at the same price as at the main branch, even though they weren’t listed at all on that branch’s site.
Then, since it was early enough, I decided to also check that Kaufland on the way to the main branch, putting those purchases in a cabinet and finding deeply discounted 1 kg bags of oranges that were quite good and getting two, unfortunately deciding against getting a bag of onions, thinking that I’ll find more later, and not finding the toilet paper, but finding and getting the cat food that was on sale and also grabbing some other things… And when I got to the self-checkout, an employee took first the oranges and then the expiring quail eggs and scanned them with one of those devices meant for those who have their app, leaving me looking at her in confusion until I guess she realized that I didn’t want her “help” and she transferred what she had scanned to the machine, told me she had scanned the oranges and eggs and left me to continue.
Once I got to the Tei branch at Dristor, I saw a long line for the pharmacy part and, after putting my things in two cabinets, seeing that they no longer required coins, I decided against waiting in that line in order to get some other pills that dad had asked for and just went in to get that supplement and also the gel… And ended up getting three gels, to also have the two I mean to use during the marathon. At first I did so because the price listed on the label was lower than the one listed on the site, but then I maintained that decision even after using the price checker and finding that the price was actually the one listed on-line after all, thinking that they won’t get any cheaper, and may even get more expensive by then. Maybe I should have pressed, since they should offer the price that’s on the label, but while I did point out the problem to an employee, after he went to check and came back to say that they had just received the invoices and were working on the changes, and removed that price label, I couldn’t work up the courage to press. That interaction had drained me anyway, to the point that I didn’t even want to need to wait for the cashier to get some smaller bills if I could avoid it, so after initially meaning to pay with one large bill, when I saw that she didn’t have enough change for the person who was in front of me, I started digging for smaller bills… And ended up just putting that supplement on the belt while I did so, moving on with the gels and the money in my hand, and the cashier didn’t even say anything, just telling me the price for that supplement, at which point I realized it and also handed her the gels.
After retrieving my things, I first went back to the pastry place that’s in front of that entrance to the metro station, meaning to get myself a pretzel, but couldn’t see the kind I wanted anymore, though I was pretty sure that I had seen some when I had passed by that place on my way to the pharmacy. And then, even though I was rushing, I made yet another detour that ended up being pointless, deciding to also check the stores from that farmers’ market for a kind of cheese that I didn’t find, and instead of turning back right from the exit, going just a little farther to also look for those pretzels at that other place that’s there… Only to find it closed.
The last place I had actually planned to check, however, was that Carrefour, so after finally rushing there and managing to stuff everything in one of the largest cabinets, I just grabbed one more thing for dad, not finding anything else of interest while having a quick look around. And then I ended up waiting in line for quite a while, because a person was splitting the payment between two cards and cash and also seemed to be a few coins short for the cash part. But at least I used that voucher received for buying red cabbage on April 2, the cashier again taking the receipt it was printed on and not giving it back. And then I retrieved my things from the cabinet and rushed back as much as I could while carrying everything, getting back here a couple of minutes after 6 PM.
I still also wanted to go to Obor, however, so after having lunch, putting some of the things in their place and slicing one of the breads bought for dad, I went out again, at 7:25 PM. Once I got there, I first checked that Carrefour as well, but didn’t get anything, despite having a hard look at some rather nice cakes that were three for the price of two… And which, since then, they seem to be quite desperate to sell, since that offer was extended until the end of the year and they also appeared in more locations, though I had initially only seen them there. Either way, I also very briefly glanced in two other stores on the way out of that mall, and then went to that Penny, not finding what I was actually looking for, again for dad, but finding and getting some expiring roes. The price was 1.04 RON and the cashier just asked for 1 RON, but I had already handed her 1.05 RON and left it like that.
Then I also went to Kaufland, washed my hands, went in with those roes in a pocket, and saw that evening discounts were already applying for vegetables even though it was a few minutes before 9 PM. But the first thing I grabbed was a sweet pastry, even though there were no bakery discounts yet, since that kind had a regular discount and I hoped that an additional one will apply later. Then I started wandering around the fruits and vegetables, trying to pick something and follow the changing discounts, eventually ending up with a lettuce, a bundle of radishes and two bundles of wild garlic, plus some lemons that had a regular discount those days, digging through several boxes to find some without an awfully thick peel. It was closer to 9:30 PM when the labels with the bakery discounts were finally being placed, and after confirming that the sweet pastry I had grabbed was also included, I meant to go back for some buns after all the labels will be placed… Only to somehow forget, so I checked the expiring products and looked for toilet paper, again not finding the kind I was looking for, spent some time digging through the bags of onions without finding any that didn’t contain at least a couple of bad ones, so I eventually gave up on them and regretted that I hadn’t bought one the first time around, since those had seemed really good, and then I made my way to the self-checkout, having to take the lemons back off the scales in order to be able to continue and walking away just before 10 PM for once.
It was a little before 10:45 PM when I got back here, then I had that sweet pastry and an orange, and it was a little before midnight when I went to the bathroom, to use the toilet and shower. I did get out just before 1 AM, but had some things to wash, made a small salad from the worse parts of the lettuce and wild garlic, and sliced another bread for dad, so despite giving up on adding anything else in the salad, it was 3:05 AM when I started eating dinner. I still finished at 3:40 AM, however.

On April 16, I left right at 6 PM, taking those things I take to Kaufland, but first went to the Carrefour from the park, putting those things in a cabinet and even locking the door, after finding that the machine worked, so I could exchange a 1 RON bill for coins. I first tried to use the one with a torn corner received two days earlier and it wouldn’t accept it, so I had to use another one then, but when I put that one among those I paid with, after getting what I meant to get from there, the cashier didn’t say anything.
After retrieving those things from the cabinet and dropping them off at the first Kaufland I checked, I put the purchases from Carrefour in a cabinet… And retrieved them soon after, after just going in and out of the store, since what we really needed was toilet paper and I couldn’t find the one I wanted. So I then continued to the newer Kaufland, but also stopped at that Penny on the way, walking in with those purchases, since I couldn’t find a free cabinet with a key… And once again walking right out, not finding anything of interest. I did put those purchases in a cabinet once I got to that newer Kaufland, and also washed my hands, but since I still didn’t find that toilet paper, I again walked right back out and to Auchan. But I meant to get back there, so at least I left my things in that cabinet, and at Auchan I did finally find that toilet paper, so I bought a pack and also another bottle of vinegar, and used the little amount that was on the store card after buying that kefir for dad on April 4. And, speaking of Auchan store cards, I saw two on the street, around the first Kaufland, one in the parking lot and the other right on a street, after I walked away from there.
After getting back to that newer Kaufland, I added the toilet paper and vinegar in that cabinet, washed my hands again, and saw that the bakery discounts were at 75% even though it was only a little past 9 PM, so I got two of those breads. No sweet pastries were left, someone else taking the last two right in front of me, and I wouldn’t have really wanted those anyway, but I found a much nicer sweet thing among the expiring products, so I got that as a reward for myself, and made use of some other evening discounts. Then I had no problems with the self-checkout, retrieved everything from the cabinet and walked out before the store closed… Forgetting that I meant to also drop the mask I was wearing at the time in that bin, and by the time I realized it I couldn’t go back, the store having already closed, since I went to one of those tables and took some time to arrange the purchases in my backpack and bags.
It was a little before 10:05 PM when I walked away from there, and a little after 10:35 PM when I got back. Then I made an omelet, but left it in the pan while eating a banana and that sweet thing, which meant that it got stuck on it even more and was harder to scrape off. Either way, it was past 12:35 AM when I finally went to shower and 1:10 AM when I got back to the kitchen, but I still had things to do, so I only started eating dinner at 3:25 AM and it was past 4:05 AM when I finished.

The next day I’m yet to write about is April 27, when I left a little after 3 PM, taking the broken whisk, in case I’ll want to compare, though I ended up just carrying it around, never pulling it out. But what made that day quite unpleasant was that my headphones rather died out moments after leaving. I guess a contact got messed up, because the sound was coming on and off in the left one on each step, and after I unplugged them and plugged them back in, that left one stopped working completely and the right one didn’t sound quite right either, so all I could do was turn the volume up a little and make do with them like that for the rest of that day.
I wanted to go to Obor and look for a whisk that’d be cheaper but seem just as good as the one I meant to order, but also had to get some teas and pills for dad, so the first stop was at a location of a pharmacy that had one of the teas at the lowest price… At least on their site, and it’s known that in their case the prices are usually much lower if you order on-line than if you buy directly, but I nevertheless wanted to check… And at first it seemed that I won’t be able to do so in that location, because I couldn’t open the door and also didn’t see anybody inside, so I thought that it was closed for some reason. But another guy also came at that point, stopping in front of the door when he saw me walking away, and I stopped a few steps away and turned to see what he did, being surprised when, after standing there for a moment, he also tried the door and managed to open it. So I went back as well and, after pushing hard on the door, since it had closed after him, managed to get in, seeing that the cashiers were in the second room. It was just a waste of time, however, since I asked about that tea, was told that a few different variants existed, and by the time the cashier brought one of each from the back, since I couldn’t pick based just on what she had told me, I had spotted the one I wanted on the shelf and saw that the price was about 50% higher than the one listed on the site, so I obviously didn’t get it and left.
Once I got to Obor, I went all around, searching for whisks, even asking, and also checking some other things. However, while I found some whisks that had the shape and size of the one I meant to order, and which dad said that he didn’t agree to pay for, the metal felt and looked like it was of poor quality for all but one, and most were actually slightly more expensive than the actual price of the one I meant to order, only ending up being some 20% cheaper because of that store’s fees. That one exception did look and feel good, and it was also among the cheapest ones of that kind, but on top of having no label or markings, the problem was that the loop that the other wires pass through was poking out quite a lot, and since it’s also pointy, it’d have ended up scratching the bottom of the pot while also being more likely to snap sooner, seeing as I use it to scrape the mamaliga off the bottom of the pot. At the same time, it’d have probably been better for scraping in that manner, so I kept it in mind and got back to it at the end, but that was just before 5 PM, when those stores were closing, so the woman who was there was gathering the products and I just had another quick look, being too uncertain to make a decision.
The first purchases were made when I went to that mall, the teas and pills I had to get from one pharmacy, which I then placed in a cabinet at that Carrefour, again using a machine to exchange a bill for coins. But before actually going in that Carrefour, I checked another pharmacy as well, just going in and out because I couldn’t find the tea that should have been available there as well, and I confirmed that the prices are much higher than those listed on-line if you don’t use their card anyway. Then I peed and washed my hands and finally entered Carrefour, getting a bag of supposedly spoiling Pinova apples which were actually quite good, along with two expiring breads for dad. And I found that they had added a couple of self-checkout machines that also accepted cash! I didn’t know whether I could use them for those apples, since they had a sticker marking them as being discounted by 50%, not a label that could be scanned, but I asked the guard who was there and he said that I could, just that he had to come and scan something to mark them as discounted, which he did. So I then also scanned the bread, obviously didn’t charge myself for the bag that I was forced to use for those apples, and since those machines accept partial payments by card and I had it with me, I got rid of the tiny amount left in my account before completing the payment with cash.
After retrieving my things from the cabinet, I took some time to arrange everything in my backpack and a bag before leaving that mall, and then I decided that I had enough time to go to Tei after all, for the tea that was apparently only available there, even though that meant going all that way in the other direction. And while I was on the way I saw an older woman who had fallen on the sidewalk, with a little dog next to her. I was just about alongside another woman at that moment, and she was the first one to rush to help, taking the fallen woman’s arm, so when I joined a moment later I was unsure whether to take the other or not, in case that’d make her even more unsteady, which made the situation rather awkward. But I eventually did take her other arm and, after not quite managing it at first, she eventually got up, at which point I asked whether she had gotten dizzy and she said that her dog had pulled her hard. Another guy had joined us by then, holding the dog’s leash, and after the woman sat down on a bench we all continued on our way without another word.
I checked a number of other places on the way to Tei, just going in and out quickly, then put everything in a cabinet when I got there and grabbed that tea. It was very crowded, however, and the lines were also long, and the fact that I also wanted to look for some honey meant that I had to somehow squeeze inside the line while making it obvious that I wasn’t cutting in, since the line was going past that area and the space is tight. Then again, that kind of honey was listed as out of stock in that location, so I shouldn’t have bothered, but I wanted to make sure, even asking an employee who walked past when I couldn’t see any. Then, after confirming that it wasn’t available, I spent some time in line, then retrieved my things from the cabinet, took some time to add those teas in the backpack properly… And decided to go to that other branch as well, since the site listed that honey as available there, so I made my way to that mall, put my things in a cabinet once again, bought a jar, retrieved my things and then continued to the last planned destination, which was Kaufland.
I had just walked in when I heard the announcement about bakery products being discounted by 50%, so I yet again put everything in a cabinet, peed and washed my hands, and found and grabbed two of those breads, along with the one remaining small baguette of that kind for dad and a sweet pastry for myself. Then I checked the expiring products and looked for the other evening discounts, the really good ones being for grapes and bananas. The grapes were mostly scattered, plus some which had probably been recovered by employees after being left in other places by people, and I took my time selecting the bananas as well, and also grabbed some carrots, which also had a nice discount. At some point during that time, the 75% discount for bakery products was announced, but I nevertheless waited for 9:30 PM before making my way to the self-checkout, and the machine didn’t want me to leave any of the fruits or vegetables on the scales, so I just took them back off, checked that I had been charged correctly and continued without calling an employee. My hands were sticky after digging through the grapes and bananas, however, so I washed them one more time before retrieving the other purchases from the cabinet, then took my time to arrange everything in the bags and backpack. And, oddly enough, as I started making my way back here, the headphones again behaved just as they had just after I had left in the afternoon, the sound coming on and off in the left one with every step… And, after fiddling with the contact for a while, they even seemed to work properly once again… For a little while, after which the left one once again stopped working completely.
After getting back, at 10:20 PM, I checked the headphones, confirming that the problem was with them and not with my phone, then ate some grapes and that sweet pastry while putting the purchases in their place and washing some of the things that dad was leaving in the kitchen… And I talked to him about that whisk that I had seen at Obor, considering going back for it after he said that he’d agree to pay that price for one. But I also showed him the one I wanted to order, on his computer… And ended up knocking over the wine he had on his desk as I was reaching for the mouse, the mug flying right on his pajama pants. Fortunately, just a few drops ended up elsewhere, and he said that didn’t care about the pants, but I insisted to wash them as well as I could right away.
That meant that it was 12:35 AM when I went to shower despite leaving lunch for later. And even though I didn’t even go to the toilet and was back in the kitchen at 1:05 AM, I only started eating that lunch at 1:40 AM, at first only having a few bites while getting ready to start making the salad, since it was too hot. I eventually finished lunch around 2:20 AM and started eating dinner at 3:10 AM, but I’d have still been able to finish it at 3:40 AM if I wouldn’t have taken some time to search for that whisk on some more sites, looking for more information about it and the company. As it was, I missed that target by a couple of minutes, but decided to order that whisk after all, giving up on the idea of going back for that one from Obor and counting it as paid from “my” money. Going back would have messed up my schedule anyway, seeing as I was planning to walk the route of the half marathon. Either way, before going to bed that morning, which I actually only did at 5:35 AM, I also ordered that tea from that pharmacy… And also another identical pair of headphones, since they’re still available here and cheap. On the other hand, something wasn’t happy in my abdomen, and I also had a strange taste in my mouth, probably indicating that the leftover potatoes I had as lunch, along with some steak, had spoiled. Not that it was in any way surprising, since they had been made by dad quite a long time before and left until I finished the last of them that night.

The plan for April 29 was to walk the route of the half marathon, so I had a larger breakfast, also including an egg salad in a bun, and was hoping to leave at 3 PM, but it was close to 3:45 PM when I actually did, which was one of the reasons why I chose to cross the road and go left after reaching the route, since I know this area well enough and could leave the part going in the other direction and back for the end, when it was going to be dark. Having no headphones proved to be a problem, however, since I didn’t try to keep using those broken ones and I was feeling overwhelmed, like I had lost a layer of protection and had to try to get used to that.
When I reached Unirii, I first went into that shopping center to pee, then checked Carrefour, but didn’t get anything. However, as I was looking through the expiring products, a woman tapped me on the shoulder and wanted to give me some money, I think a 10 RON bill. I refused, she tried again, telling me to get myself something, but I told her to give it to someone who needed it more and she finally walked away. Since the long distance I had to walk had made me decide to wear the old shoes and I hadn’t shaved either, I probably looked like I also needed the money, and it’s not like it’s the first time something like this happens, the previous times being in March of 2018, while waiting for the free bus to Auchan Titan, in October of 2018, in Auchan Titan, in October of 2019, at Carrefour Mega Mall, and in November of 2020, at Carrefour Baneasa, but when I can refuse, which was the case on the first two occasions and again this time, I do.
After getting back on the route, I just continued walking it, without noticing anything special, or at least nothing that I didn’t already know, those places where it climbs still being awful, obviously. The problem was that it was windy and I was thinking that if it’ll be the same during the race, I’ll struggle to even stay under two hours. And the wind also made it quite cold, making me think that I should have taken the warmer jacket, which also has all those pockets that are so useful. Otherwise, I saw an artistic protest at the Russian Embassy.
The next time I entered a store, however, things ended up being rather unpleasant. Possibly also because of how I looked, and maybe also the fact that I try to avoid people and was likely doing so even more that day, since I didn’t have the headphones, and it’s not like it didn’t happen before, also while I was walking a route, albeit that of the marathon, and in that same location, the Penny from Decebal. Either way, a guard started tailing me as soon as I entered, showed up in front of me as I was looking around, and when I found one of the products I wanted and was trying to open another box, so I won’t take the one jar that was easily accessible and had obviously been handled, he came from behind, asked what I wanted and said that he’ll give it to me. He didn’t tail me so obviously after that, while I got the other thing I wanted, for dad, and had another quick look around, but when I got in line he was at the end of it and looking right at me. After I made eye contact and raised an eyebrow, he turned away and left, but another guard stood in front of the door as I was about to walk out. He also stood aside after I looked right at him, with the purchases in my hands, but actually followed me outside and when I stopped at the first bench, to put those two jars I had bought in a bag, he went around me, showed up from behind the tree that’s next to that bench and asked if I had filled the bag. So I showed him that I just had those two jars and said that I had been searched before in that location and he shrugged and walked away, throwing over his shoulder that I had been pointed out to him, just repeating that when I asked what is it that makes me look so suspicious.
After continuing on my way and reaching the spot where I had started, I kept going, to the spot where the route turned and a little farther, since there’s no crossing there, that turn coming a little earlier this year, somehow, even though it didn’t seem like that distance was added anywhere else. And after crossing I left the route again, going to Kaufland, washing my hands once I got there and entering the store with the purchases from Penny, since the store brand could easily be seen. It was just about 9:30 PM, but I still found a sweet pastry and some buns to grab, the discount not increasing past 50%. On the other hand, there were no more green onions, but I did make use of some evening discounts, albeit not particularly big ones, to also get some beets and a leek. Then I made my way to the self-checkout, had no problems with the machine, the announcement that the store closed came as I was using it, and I made a mental note of the fact that nobody even seemed to mean to say anything when I obviously still had something else, those purchases from Penny, in the bag.
With the last small portion of the route being on the way back from there, I therefore walked all of it, though I meant to have another look at the spot where that turn had been moved and somehow missed it, my mind obviously being elsewhere. But I was going to get to it from the other direction and had gotten a good look at the spot from that side, so I didn’t turn back after realizing it and got back here at 10:35 PM. Then I had a banana, that sweet pastry and lunch, with a small bag of corn puffs instead of bread. It was almost 12:30 AM when I went to the toilet and to shower and about 1:20 AM when I got back to the kitchen, but I still just managed to start eating dinner just before 3 AM even though I had some more things to do before starting to work on it and also talked to dad a little. On the other hand, once again checking some things on-line while eating meant that it was a couple minutes past 3:40 AM when I finished. And I’ll also mention here that, for the first time in a while, on April 29 there were no visits reported in either view, and that I got in bed just after 5:20 AM.

Since the post from two weeks ago started with the early hours of May 3, I’ll also add here that, in the early hours of May 1, even though dad was working, I yet again failed to stick to the dinner schedule, finishing at 3:50 AM despite initially recovering from the fact that I went to the kitchen at 1:15 AM and starting to eat dinner just before 3 AM, checking some things on-line again being the reason for both delays. And, after having lunch in the early evening, it was almost 1:15 AM when I went to the kitchen the following night as well, albeit because of a late shower, and since I was also trying to get Micky to eat some actual cat food, after dad again gave her snacks and other crap, I failed to recover that time and started eating dinner at 3:05 AM, and that was despite once again forgetting to put seasonings in the salad. However, that time I did finally manage to just barely finish at 3:40 AM… But losing more time because of Micky, and also cleaning the litter box, meant that I only got in bed at 5:30 AM.

This is another post that was incomplete when it was initially posted, since I only got as far as knocking over dad’s wine before midnight, editing it in order to add the last part of the section about April 27 a little later, and then I only managed to write and add the rest Tuesday evening.

Written by Cavalary on May 29, 2022 at 11:59 PM in Personal | 0 Comments

Quick Review: What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions

It‘s an enjoyable and quick read, but you do need to know what to expect. Randall likes taking things to extremes, the answers often leading to scenarios that range from deadly to depicting widespread devastation or even the destruction of the Earth, while at the same time making a point of not taking many things seriously. That works in a webcomic and in answers posted on that comic’s site, but may bother in a book, unless you know exactly what you’re going to get.
Some of those “weird (and worrying) questions” didn’t strike me as being worse than those that were answered. As for some some of the answers that stood out to me, the one about the common cold definitely seems different now than when it was written, while the one about Facebook was unusually considered. And ending on a, shall I say, low note, going to the other extreme, describing the low end of the scale when the question had actually been about a planet-destroying scenario, was somewhat comforting.

Rating: 4/5

Written by Cavalary on May 27, 2022 at 6:51 PM in Books | 0 Comments

Bucharest Half Marathon 2022: Below 1:45 as Official Time!

As I was saying, I’ll start this post with May 5, when I picked up my race kit… But first struggled for quite a while to find a way to fit the dishes and cutlery I was going to donate into dad’s large backpack, also cleaned my old running shoes a little and took those as well, in a bag, and left at 4:30 PM, knowing that I’ll also be able to pick up the headphones on the way back, the SMS notifying me of that coming some ten minutes before I left.
I had to get relatively close to Romana Square in order to donate those things, and while the backpack weighed 12.8 kg, which shouldn’t have been that bad in itself, the dishes being hard and digging into my lower back made the trip particularly difficult, since I had to keep supporting the backpack with an arm and walk oddly as a result, the bag with those shoes making it even worse, since it didn’t allow me to use both arms. And I had seen that the place was supposed to be open until 6 PM, so I couldn’t take it easy… And it’s a good thing I’m used to keep my ankles firm and those muscles are trained, because at one point I stepped sideways and, especially since I was carrying all that weight, it could have been ugly.
I almost collapsed when I could see the pharmacy that was given as a landmark, my legs going soft and then shaking as I waited at those stoplights. But I held on and got there just after 5:35 PM, going in that courtyard, past that pharmacy, and entering the other building, seeing a handwritten sign with that organization’s name, pointing upstairs. However, when I got to the door, it was closed and locked, and while the schedule posted on it was in Ukrainian, it seemed to indicate quite clearly that it was only open until 5 PM, not 6 PM, and knocking didn’t do any good. That left me wondering what to do, and I even considered simply leaving the dishes and cutlery right there in front of the door, but there were a couple of people in that hallway and I could hear others behind one of the other doors, so I knew that I should at least ask… And that made me decide to actually ask directly, since a phone number was listed and my credit was still active, so I went back out and called, and the woman who answered said that she was still in the building, had just told the others to leave because nobody was coming, and asked whether I could come upstairs… So I went back there, struggling even more, found her waiting for me and went to the room she led me to, a man and I think also a child also being there, though I didn’t even look around. The message I had sent, with pictures, to which they had replied that everything seemed all right, hadn’t included the shoes, so I had meant to ask whether they actually had any use for those, but I ended up just handing them to her and then setting down the backpack and struggling to get everything out… And rushing and rather exaggerating how out of breath I was when I suddenly realized how badly I reeked of sweat. So I just left everything there and left as quickly as I could, feeling so relieved to get rid of that weight.
Then I continued to Constitution Square, getting there at 6:20 PM… And finding that I seemed to be the only person who was wearing a mask. But at least I picked up my race kit and t-shirt quickly and without problems, tried on the t-shirt, checked the kit, being pleased with the contents… And on my way out of the Sport Expo area, saw that the NGO I had selected to support both times last year already had a very visible presence, even though almost none of the others had anything set up yet. I had also seen a truck with their logo, in the area where nearly all the other NGOs were supposed to have their tents, but theirs was actually inside the Sport Expo, and several of their people were there, along with a singer. And when I noticed the woman I had spoken to last year, I greeted her with a gesture, which she returned, but then things got rather awkward for a moment, since she meant to come towards me as I was walking away, so I stopped when I saw her coming, she stopped when she saw me leaving, and we both hesitated for a moment before I actually did walk away and, after I think taking one more step towards me, she went back to what she had been doing. I sent her a message after getting back, apologizing for the awkwardness and explaining that part of the reason for not staying had been that I couldn’t recall whether I had selected an NGO to support when I had registered and realizing that it’d have been strange to say that when asked whether I was supporting them again, but she didn’t reply.
Either way, next I went to Unirii, first entering that shopping center to pee and seeing a backpack that seemed to have been left in a stall. But the reason for going there was to check that Carrefour, so I then did that, putting my backpack in the cabinet which had just been emptied by someone else, all others seeming to be in use. And it was a good thing I went there, since I was looking for some nicer yogurt for the morning of the half marathon and found a few “Greek” ones, albeit with just 2% fat, in the otherwise packed expiring products area, so I bought one… And I noticed that they had changed their campaign for used cooking oil, no longer offering one liter in exchange for three or two for five, but only one for four, so I missed the chance to get one for the three that I think are gathered here, or just about gathered, because I was waiting to have five.
After retrieving the backpack, I continued on my way, picking up the headphones when I reached the store I had ordered them from, the only issue being that I was given only bills as change, so it was 0.10 RON short. But I guess I expected that, and I had working headphones again, so I put them on right away and then went to the Kaufland from Vitan, getting there when it was almost 8:30 PM. The cabinets proved a problem, since I needed to try quite a few, but I eventually found an empty one with a working lock, peed and washed my hands again and went in, hoping to find green onions with an evening discount. And I did, and while the discount was less than I expected and for a moment I considered also going to that newer Kaufland, I eventually gave up on the idea, grabbing a bundle, adding a sweet pastry after the bakery discounts were announced, and then getting a few other things, fortunately also finding toilet paper. And while the price of the green onions didn’t get any lower, the bakery discounts increased to 75% at 9:30 PM. The lines for the self-checkouts were huge when I got there, however, but at least all the machines worked, so they were moving relatively quickly and I had no problems when my turn came. Then I took my time, arranging everything in order to fit as much as possible in the backpack, leaving just the green onions and that sweet pastry in bags.
After walking away from there just before 10 PM, I got back a little before 10:30 PM, put the purchases in their place, had a better look at the contents of the kit and showed them to dad as well, ate an orange and some more peanuts and that sweet pastry, and it was after midnight when I had lunch, close to 12:30 AM when I went to the toilet and to shower, and almost 1:15 AM when I got back out of the bathroom. Then I also dealt with the bread I had bought two days earlier, after forgetting to do so the day before, only started eating dinner at 3:25 AM, finishing at 4:20 AM, since I didn’t rush, and was going to bed at 5:30 AM.

On May 6 I was so crushed, after carrying those dishes, which was definitely worrying. And the fact that I kept failing to stick to that schedule for dinner was also far from ideal, when the half marathon was so close… And, while I almost made it that night, not taking enough things to put on the bread to my room and needing to go back and get something else made me lose minutes I couldn’t recover, so I ended up just failing yet again, finishing at 3:45 AM.

On the evening of May 7, I wanted to take a nap and actually managed to fall asleep, but soon after that dad again forgot that I had told him that I was going to get in bed and called me, and even if I just stayed there under the blanket I couldn’t get back to sleep after that, so I ended up just staying in bed for another half an hour or so. And after I got up and asked what that had been about, he said he wanted to ask how to take a screenshot… So at least I no longer felt bad for having asked him to wake up earlier and drive me to the starting area the next day, when he was also leaving, flying abroad for a week, so until then I had been thinking of just taking the metro and letting him sleep.
Either way, I then put the beet in the oven, had a large serving of the pasta made the previous evening, with the remaining green garlic, as lunch, and also took one of those pills dad takes against gas. Then I shaved, after which I fixed dinner, putting peanut butter on most of the slices of bread. I should have started working on dinner right away instead of eating the pasta first, separately, and shaved after eating, since as it was I only got back to the kitchen just before 11 PM, started eating dinner at 1:35 AM and finished just before 2:25 AM. But what was done was done, so I then put the number on the t-shirt, struggling for a while, got everything ready for the morning and went to bed at 4:10 AM.

At 6:15 AM, the alarm rang and I got up, had a large Pinova apple, that “Greek” yogurt, albeit with just 2% fat and expired the day before, with both almonds and peanuts in dark chocolate added in it along with the cereals, and a slice of cozonac, with added honey, took both supplements and another one of those pills against gas, and drank most of the tea. Unfortunately, just wasted time on the toilet, and had also decided against trying before going to bed, so that was a reason for concern and, even though I didn’t really think that I was going to use it, I ended up taking the last bit of garlic we had with me after all, in case I’ll end up needing some help to hold something in, along with one of the gels and the other part of that expired banana protein bar. Then I left, with dad, a little after 8 AM… And we found that the road was already closed, so we had to use the alternate route I had planned last year, when we didn’t end up needing it.
I reached Constitution Square just before 8:25 AM and looked around a little, trying to see whether anyone was handing out anything. Those from the Zuzu Fit stall did take some bottles out of the refrigerator, but they were standing next to them, not handing them to participants, and nobody was going there to try to take one, so I didn’t either, just sort of hovering at the edge of the group doing the warmup for a while and then wandering around a little more. At that point I noticed a place that might have been handing something out, but there was a fence, so you had to go through the Sport Expo area in order to get there and I didn’t even enter it, and also didn’t want to pass by that NGO’s tent again, so I didn’t actually check.
After putting the jacket in the bag and handing the bag over at the wardrobe, it was around 8:40 AM when I took my place in line at the toilets. Even though it took a while until my turn came, I still thought I had plenty of time as I started making my way to the start area… And saw toilets near it as well, with far fewer people using them, which I think is always the case, but I still never risk going there directly. Either way, I reached the start area at 8:55 AM or so… And found it already packed, the fact that start sectors still hadn’t been implemented again making this even more of a problem, since anyone trying to get to a better position had to go through everyone else who was already there. And the number of people who were already there even surprised some of the pacemakers, those for 1:40 getting there after me and one of them commenting out loud that they had such a long way to go to reach their spot. But that was a good thing for me and some others who saw the opportunity and, after letting them through, tried to make use of the path they were opening in order to reach a better spot. Of course, only the pacemakers actually had the authority, people stepping aside when they saw who was trying to get through, that authority diminishing with each person trying to make use of that same opening, people retaking their positions and making it harder to advance, but I eventually managed to reach the area where those pacemakers for 1:40 and the ones for 1:45 were, and also made use of the time it took to get there to eat the protein bar which had been in the race kit. It was still really crowded, however, and people were moving slowly after the start was given, so my start time was 1:22… Or at least that’s how it’s listed, though I had 1:21 on my stopwatch and that’s also the difference between the net and official times.

That start time meant that I had to recover about four seconds per kilometer compared to the 1:45 pace, so I should have been aiming for 4:54 per kilometer, but thought I had to aim for 4:50 because for some reason I was certain that 4:54 was the time per kilometer listed for the 1:45 pacemakers, though it was in fact 4:57, and that’s because they aim to finish 30 seconds under the target time, which I also forgot to take into account at the time. And it continued to be crowded for the first kilometer, which caused me to only manage to cover it in 4:58, making me think that I was off to a bad start. And then I only managed 4:59 on the second kilometer, though that was clearly going to be rather slow, since there’s that climb at the end of it and I obviously wasn’t going to exhaust myself so early by pushing on it. But I did start pushing once the road stopped climbing, covering the third kilometer in 4:45 and the fourth in 4:40, which made me hope again. And I’m quite sure that the time for the fifth kilometer was between those for the previous two… But this is where the fact that I didn’t write the times before getting back, remembering them so well while I was still in Constitution Square that I didn’t think it could be in any way necessary, is starting to cause problems, because I think that I covered that fifth kilometer in 4:42, but it’d probably be safer to say that it was about 4:42, because exactly 4:42 would mean reaching that point in 25:25, which is an interesting enough time to make a mental note of, and I don’t remember anything of the sort. Then again, I tend to mainly look at the seconds and the marker for five kilometers was just before the first refreshment point, so my attention moved to that right away and I might have ignored the minutes completely.
Either way, there were fruits at the refreshment points once again, and I grabbed a piece of apple and a cup of that drink. And I thought that I had dealt with them unusually well, only slowing for a few seconds in order to drink and therefore losing much less time than I normally do, but was surprised to see just how little time I had lost, as I seem to recall covering that kilometer in 4:46, admittedly after also pushing a little more in order to recover some of the loss. I’m not entirely certain of that 4:46, but I seem to remember that time better than those for the fifth and seventh kilometers, and even if I may be a little bit off, it was definitely below 4:50. And I clearly remember seeing 34:55 after seven kilometers, so if the previous two times are correct, or if at least their total is, it’d mean 4:44 for that seventh kilometer. And what’s absolutely certain is the total of 14:12 for the fifth, sixth and seventh kilometers, so an average of 4:44, despite that refreshment point.
The wind was becoming a problem at that point, however, probably because of how the buildings channel it on Victoriei, since I was otherwise heading roughly in the same direction as on the way back on Kiseleff. But I also had to push, meaning to gain the time I knew I was going to lose because of that short but particularly steep climb that’s at the end of that detour made apparently in order to avoid Revolution Square. And what definitely helped was that the road drops at the start of that detour, so I made the most of it and the eighth kilometer was the fastest, 4:38… At least if the mark that was on the pavement was the correct one, since it was next to a parked car and the sign marking eight kilometers was in the next available space between the parked cars, so I checked the time when I reached the written mark, assuming that the sign had been placed a little farther than it should have been due to lack of space. If the sign was in the right place, on the other hand, I don’t know whether the eighth kilometer was faster than the fourth. Either way, that climb came shortly after that marker, and my original plan was to at most lightly jog, if not even walk, on it, and use that time to eat that banana protein bar. But I didn’t feel the need for it, especially since there were fruits at the refreshment points once again, so I gave up on that idea and did my best with that slope, then pushed once again after getting back on Victoriei, and even more so towards the end of that road, when it goes down again quite significantly, and the result was covering the ninth kilometer in 4:50, which was again much better than expected.
The problem was that I was too fast. Yes, it was nice to see that I was beating my expectations, but it was still early and I knew my limits, and what made the fact that I was pushing too hard particularly obvious was that the 1:40 pacemakers were still only a little ahead of me. They had pulled a little ahead on the first two kilometers, at that refreshment point and on that short but steep slope, but I kept slowly but steadily recovering that lost time, and when I found myself doing so again after getting back on Victoriei I was thinking that I shouldn’t be there, the fact that I was meaning that I had an unsustainable pace and it’ll cause me to lose more later than I was gaining then.
I was still spared of that on the tenth kilometer, which I covered in about 4:48 despite the fact that it included another refreshment point, from which I grabbed a piece of banana along with the cup of that drink. At that time, I for some reason thought that the time had been about 4:58 instead of 4:48, but I know that I saw 49:11 on the stopwatch, which clearly makes it 4:48… The problem being that I saw no marker for ten kilometers, the organizers probably assuming that it wasn’t needed because the route split at that point, those who were only running ten kilometers going to the finish line while the rest of us went around it, so passing by the finish line should mark ten kilometers, but it’s possible that I actually checked the time a second or two after I did so… And, if so, I’m not even sure whether I did that intentionally or not, since I had compared the time on my stopwatch to that listed above the finish line and found that my stopwatch was just about two seconds behind, meaning that I had reacted a little late to the start… Though that makes the fact that the start time was apparently correct, or just about correct, quite strange. Either way, I kept those two seconds in mind, in case it’ll be really close at the end, but what worried me just then was that miscalculation which was causing me to think that I had covered that kilometer in 4:58 even though I didn’t think that I had lost more time because of that second refreshment point than because of the first. Of course, the actual time proves that impression correct, but at that moment, somehow, in my mind the difference between 44:23 and 49:11 was 4:58, so that was what I “stored” in my mind, not noticing the mistake until I finally wrote down the times I could remember after getting back.
Well, almost as soon as I passed that point, that concern about the previous kilometer changed to a much more serious one about the next 11, since the effects of that unsustainable pace suddenly made themselves felt… Just when the headwind also became an even more serious problem. It had stopped being one for a little while, between leaving Victoriei and reaching Unirii, but from that point I was facing some five and a half kilometers of running right against the wind, which made dealing with the way I was feeling even harder, as shown by the fact that I covered the 11th kilometer in 4:59, even though there were no refreshment points or slopes. And that’s assuming the correct time on the tenth kilometer, since if I did check that time a second or two later, that time should be added to that 11th kilometer. Either way, I was feeling bad enough when I passed that marker to even start asking myself whether I was going to finish with a time that won’t be utterly embarrassing, the idea of staying under 1:45 suddenly seeming an impossible dream. And a certain pressing need also started appearing at that point, which was another reason for concern, though it passed after a while.
What helped, to the point of probably being the one reason why I did manage to stay under 1:45, was that a woman passed me just at that point, and what drew my attention was that she was having a gel, so I pretty much fixed her as my target and tried to keep up. I was also furiously calculating the times I needed, and with my attention divided between that woman, those calculations and pushing through the exhaustion and dealing with its worsening symptoms, I missed the marker for 12 kilometers, so I just know that the total time for the 12th and 13th kilometers was 9:57.
After that, when I reached Decebal, I was surprised to notice that there was a slope and it actually seemed quite significant. It’s not steep enough for me to really make a mental note of it otherwise, but it was steep enough to be a problem when I was already exhausted, and it’s long, so I had to approach it tactically, looking for the best balance between effort and speed while feeling that I was pushing increasingly unwisely. As time passed, various body parts started giving me increasingly insistent warnings, my liver hurting, my abdomen feeling increasingly uncomfortable in general, going from some pain to numbness to nausea to the return of that pressing need, my arms were going numb, my legs were starting to get heavier, with some muscles and joints giving their own warnings… And the effects are also noticeable when it comes to remembering the times since, while I’ll again say that I did remember them at the end of the race, and while I was still in Constitution Square, after I got back I found myself more or less guessing starting with the 14th kilometer… Which I think I covered in 4:58, though 4:57 is also possible. Putting everything together should mean that the error margin shouldn’t be more than a second or two, but with no more times I’m absolutely certain of until the end, I can’t be sure.
What’s clear is that the next refreshment point was on the 15th kilometer, and I recall noticing a few gels on one of the tables, but I only “processed” that after passing that spot and didn’t go back to grab one, sticking to the piece of banana and the drink. And I’m almost certain that this was the slowest kilometer, and that I covered it in 5:08. That leads to times that I keep thinking are a second off on the following kilometers, but the problem seems more likely to be either there or on the 14th than on the 15th. Either way, a time that was clearly over five minutes, even if on a kilometer that included a refreshment point, was a very bad sign, and those calculations that I kept furiously making were telling me that I couldn’t stay under 1:45, and with that marker being pretty much at the intersection with the street that would have led me back here, for a brief moment I even considered abandoning the race. But that moment passed and I kept giving it everything, working through the exhaustion and trying to raise my morale by telling myself that the turn was approaching, and from that point the wind will be behind me.
It was right after that turn that I took the gel out of the pocket of my tights and had it, finishing it just as I passed the sign marking 16 kilometers. During that time, I also passed by the 1:45 pacemakers, as they were approaching the turn, and when the two guys who had been behind me for a while and were occasionally chatting shouted at them that it’s pointless for them to run, because they won’t catch them, I commented out loud that I feared that they will at least catch me. But I was also thinking that the gel should start helping me in about 15 minutes, so for the final two kilometers or so, and kept pushing, hoping for some more energy to be generated at that point and help me get to the end… Even if the immediate effect seemed to be the return of that pressing need, along with the feeling that it was going to take a little effort to keep both that piece of banana and the gel down. As for the times for kilometers 16 and 17, I’m quite sure that they were 5:03 and 4:57, though 5:02 and 4:58 is also a possibility, since I’m sure that they were symmetrical in this manner but don’t know where that second that seems to be off comes from.
After 17 kilometers, I was back on Decebal, and that slope was helping. It probably wasn’t helping as much as it had harmed when I had to climb it, but I think I covered that 18th kilometer in 4:53, because I remember being surprised that I had gained a little bit compared to that 4:54 that I wrongly thought was the pace of the 1:45 pacemakers. And I’m quite sure that it was also on that 18th kilometer, on Decebal, that I caught up to a guy who had also been ahead of me pretty much since I reached Unirii… And almost ran into him. I had also noticed him all along, but that was because I found him particularly annoying, since he kept turning to run backwards or going in circles, which meant that he could easily get in the way of others. Yes, he did seem to try to be careful, but that risk always existed, and he actually started such a circle right when I was about to catch him, making me shout at him… Which actually seemed to cause him to calm down, at least for a while, even if that didn’t also mean focusing on his own run, since he asked another guy, albeit one who seemed to know him, whether he was all right, then put an arm around his shoulders and started cheering him on as they both dropped behind me.
Even before seeing the good time on that 18th kilometer, I was trying to raise my morale by telling myself that about 3.2 kilometers will be left from the moment when I’ll see the sign for 18 kilometers, and that’s a lap around the lake, in the park, so I tried to see it as a last lap that I had to push through. It was increasingly difficult to do so, my legs were also starting to burn, but I just kept putting one in front of the other, and still doing my best to follow that woman… Who seemed to lose a little more than I did with the last refreshment point, which was a little before the sign for 19 kilometers, so I took another piece of banana and drink and suddenly found myself almost alongside her. But I was feeling worse and worse, even having a little trouble eating that piece of banana, needing to take smaller bites and struggling to control the nausea, so she started pulling ahead again and I calculated that if I’ll just keep her in sight it should be enough.
Since I’m quite sure that the 15th kilometer was the slowest but only marginally, I’m thinking that the time for the 19th was 5:07, and that is what it adds up to, since I’m certain that I saw 1:34:13 when I reached that sign… Though something doesn’t seem quite right. Either way, as I continued even my field of vision seemed to narrow and towards the end there was even a reddish tint, but I just kept putting one foot in front of the other, kept keeping my eyes on that woman and my mind on the time, worried that I’ll fail by mere seconds but hoping that I’ll just make it, just manage to keep it up. And I seem to recall seeing 1:39:11 after 20 kilometers, which would mean 4:58 on the 20th and 4:54 on the 21st. But that’s far from certain, what’s certain being the total of 9:52, since the last interval time, marked when I passed the sign for 21 kilometers, was 1:44:05.
It was only then that I finally knew that I was safe, even if I felt that I had nothing left, after having really given it everything on that 21st kilometer. So that final stretch seemed so long, but I kept my eyes on the timer above the finish line and knew that it should take me about 30 seconds to get there. And it probably took me 27 or 28, taking that difference of just about two seconds into account, since the official time was 1:44:34, with a net time of 1:43:13.
I was completely exhausted, but had finally done it, finishing an actual half marathon with an official time that was under 1:45! It was so hard to believe that I just turned around and stared at the timer until it reached 1:45:00, to make really sure that it happened when I was on the other side of the finish line. And just think about it, less than 26 seconds to spare. Divide that by 21.1 kilometers and you get 1.2 seconds per kilometer. Any little thing could have made the difference between that success and a failure that would have disheartened me completely. And I quite clearly wouldn’t have managed it if I wouldn’t have reduced the amount of time lost at the refreshment points so much. And, again, I highly doubt that I’d have managed it without having that woman as my target for so long, and when I caught up with her I congratulated her and told her that she had been my target for ten kilometers, and helped me achieve my goal.

This is how far I got until dad got back in the evening, and since it actually just covered the main part, about the race itself, I posted it at that time, before disconnecting, and then added the following section, covering what happened until I left Constitution Square, before going to bed in the morning, at which point I also changed the time of the post to 11:59 PM. As for the last part, about the rest of that day, I added it Monday evening. Since this post was already awfully long, I had considered leaving it for another one, but when I realized that it won’t quite beat the longest one I ever wrote, I decided to get it out of the way now… Even if it makes this my second longest post, at 7488 words, or 7497 if you include the title.

After receiving the medal, I grabbed and drank a large cup of water, then took two bottles, plus a banana and an orange that hadn’t yet been sliced into pieces. The only fruit I ate in that area, however, was an apple, or more exactly a few pieces that more or less added up to a whole apple. That took me a while, since I didn’t want to risk getting even more nauseous, and by the time I was done I was feeling that I was overstaying my welcome in that area, especially since I was holding on to those bottles and fruits. Still, before moving on I also had some more of that drink, I think even two cups, though I can’t quite recall whether one or two anymore.
But there were more things being offered in the general area as well, so while I still didn’t go through the Sport Expo and check those places that I had spotted before the start, I also ended up eating a hot dog and drinking two small cups of protein milk. With the hot dog it was easy, a place offering one per person, but at the Zuzu Fit stall I realized that they weren’t giving away bottles, but just offering small samples, and since there were different kinds I had to ask which was which, avoiding the one with coffee and initially just taking a vanilla-flavored one, but then deciding to also ask the other girl whether those were the only two kinds and when she said that they had the chocolate-flavored kind as well I also took one of those samples. And then, after passing by a couple of other places that seemed to have contests with prizes that I wasn’t interested in, I saw that another place was giving away small samples of supplements and also seemed to have a spin-the-wheel contest. When I asked what was happening there, however, I was just handed two samples, with no mention of the wheel, and I decided to just walk away with what I had.
The announcer had also mentioned that you could have the way you stepped tested at the tent of a medical organization and I considered going there as well, but eventually decided against it, maybe because I didn’t want to be told of another problem or get sent to have further tests. So I finally made my way to the wardrobe, picked up my bag, took out the camera, found a way to stuff the bottles of water, the fruits and the supplement samples in, and went to the area that’s alongside the final stretch. That was because I wanted to ask someone to take a picture, and after deciding on a guy I ended up sort of hovering around him for a while, trying to work up the courage to ask until a larger gap appeared between those who were still arriving and he seemed to move his attention away from them, at which point I did ask and he agreed. I also asked whether he could take a picture with the camera in one orientation and one with it in the other, and he actually took two in each, but I just kept one out of the four. What bothers me is that, despite looking right at him while he took the pictures, I only noticed that he had a number when I looked back towards him a little later, and while I tried to have a better look at it at that point, he was just walking away and I only caught a brief glimpse, which doesn’t seem to allow me to identify who he was. I know that it was from the ten-kilometer race and was sure that I had caught the last two digits, and also the first one, though that seems to be the same for all the participants in that race, and also believed that I had an idea about the second digit, only the third being completely covered, but I looked through the pictures for all the possible valid combinations and didn’t recognize him in any.
Either way, after putting the jacket on and moving everything, including the medal and number, into the backpack and spending some time to try to arrange everything a little better, I went to pee again, needing to wait for quite a while even though only a few others were also waiting at the time, because most of the toilets seemed to be locked. And then I finally walked away, leaving Constitution Square a little before 11:45 AM.

Once I reached Unirii, I first checked that Mega Image, putting the backpack in a cabinet and just getting the one bag of this cat food that was left, since it had a good discount. But I had sent dad an SMS before leaving Constitution Square, to let him know of the time and that he could call if he wanted, and he did call just when I was grabbing that bag, so I ended up pacing around that area while talking to him. Then I retrieved the backpack from the cabinet, stuffed the bag of cat food in it, put it back in a cabinet after reaching that Carrefour, and found just what I was looking for among the expiring products: Bio (organic) mozzarella and a yogurt.
I had dad’s metro card, so I then went to the metro station… And just as I was entering it I realized that I had forgotten to retrieve the backpack! So I rushed back, jogging at first, but after retrieving it I took my time to find a good way to also fit the mozzarella and yogurt in it and didn’t jog back to the metro station either, which led to just missing the metro, one being there when I got to the turnstyles, so I ended up losing some nine minutes, until the next one came, when I couldn’t exactly afford to lose time. In spite of that, I still got off at Romana Square and rushed to that pastry place for one of those carrot and orange cakes… And the time taken to get the money out and the fact that I didn’t jog back from there meant that I just missed the green light, and by the time it turned green again and I could cross back to the metro station, I had again just missed the metro, the timer listing 1:15 since the previous one had left when I got there.
I was rushing because I wanted to grab some things spotted a week and a half earlier, while looking for a cheaper option for the whisk, at some of those stores from Obor, and if they close early, at 5 PM, even on weekdays, on Sunday they close at 2 PM. But I just made it in time, reaching that pet store as they were starting to gather the products and grabbing a bag of cat litter, then also rushing to the one where I had seen those terribly cheap “perfumes” dad uses and getting two for him… And almost walking away without the cat litter, the shopkeeper fortunately letting me know.
Then I went to that Carrefour, putting my things in a cabinet that a guy had just emptied, taking some time to stuff everything in and find a way to also put that cake in there in a way that I thought was still clean without leaving it in the cloth bag, since I wanted to take that with me… And then noticing that the guy had forgotten his coin there, and he wasn’t still around by the time I saw it, so I used it instead of one of my own and then took it after getting back out and retrieving everything, having found nothing to buy from there. I didn’t have much money left anyway, and still wanted some of those bagels from Kaufland, and maybe some other snacks as well, so I went there next, put everything in cabinet once again, peed and washed my hands… And found that the area for refrigerated expiring products was overflowing, so I took my time searching through what was there, leaving and returning a few times, either to also let others look or to check the ingredients of some of the products, since the discount labels were placed over them, and eventually decided to get some nice salami that I could just afford, alongside the bagels and the bag of snacks I had grabbed from the other expiring products area. Then, after having no problems with the self-checkout, I retrieved my things, arranged everything in the bags and got back to the metro.
I was back here a little after 4:35 PM, ate that small bar that I had decided against eating while running, and while watching handball beeped my mother, since she had told me to give her a sign when I’ll get back, talked to her when she called, and then ate a part of that snack. After the handball was over, I went to the toilet and washed, then ate a handful of those peanuts and slowly started working on a homemade pizza and the salad while watching a match, also making another tea… And at one point I paid more attention to the scratching that I was occasionally hearing and found Micky in this wardrobe that’s on the hallway, on the shelf where my underwear, socks, sheets and other towel are. She must have gotten there up to three hours earlier, when I took my clothes, before washing, and left the door open for a moment, while I took some of the clothes to my room, and I somehow hadn’t noticed her despite looking. Either way, I let her out, finished that snack at the end of the match, and rushed to eat the first half of the pizza, a part of the salad and the carrot and orange cake before midnight, while watching the race. Then I went to my room, to do something I had to do, and then took the second half of the pizza and the rest of the salad there, eating them slowly.

Written by Cavalary on May 22, 2022 at 11:59 PM in Personal | 0 Comments

My Comment on "The Observer View on Reforming the Restrictions on GM Foods"

Since Sunday I happened to see the opinion piece praising the planned easing of the restrictions on gene editing farm animals and plants in the United Kingdom posted on The Guardian, or more exactly on The Observer, before the comments were closed, I ended up writing a pretty lengthy comment… Which was promptly removed. I did ask why and was somewhat surprised to receive a response, letting me know that the reason was the part about the COVID-19 vaccine, since it’s a contentious matter and wasn’t mentioned at all in the article, so in such cases they must enforce the “keep it relevant” part of the community standards more strictly than they usually do in order to prevent replies from focusing on this other topic, so it didn’t matter that I used it as an analogy that people should know well, pointing out that even when the technology is, in itself, clearly proven to be safe and effective, other immense problems arise when private corporations are allowed to control and profit from it. And I do appreciate the fact that they did explain the decision, but still disagree with it, especially since the discussion was closed for comments less than an hour later, so there wouldn’t have been much time for those off-topic comments they were worried about.
Either way, seeing as I put some effort into that comment, I decided to add it here, so it won’t get lost. Not that, with the exception of that analogy, it really says anything I didn’t already say when I posted about GMOs back in 2011 and 2013, and those posts may actually explain some elements of my stance somewhat better. But they were posted about a decade ago, so I guess this also counts as a quick update, and a way to say that my stance remains unchanged, and the main reasons for the opposition are also the same, so any assurances about safety, even if they’d somehow be entirely trustworthy, don’t respond to them in any way.

The comment was:
While seeing something like this is and will always be disturbing in itself, seeing it in a supposedly leftist publication is just another frankly terrifying piece of evidence of the Overton window.
While private corporations will always put profits over their customers’ safety, consumer safety of GMOs may be the least potential problem and the one most likely to be solved in a satisfactory manner, eventually. But economic matters, fairness and environmental impact? Those are a different story, and the major reasons why GM food created by corporations should never be allowed.
You just have to look at the COVID-19 vaccine for recent evidence. Safe and effective? Absolutely. But it’s making tens of billions for a few corporations who initially, when demand far outstripped supply, limited availability only to the wealthiest and most ruthless states, now hold governments of wealthier states to contracts requiring the purchase of far more than necessary at high prices while still leaving poorer states without, block the generic production and widespread availability that would actually be for the benefit of public health worldwide through patents, and now that they see that the demand in the wealthier states diminishes are taking it easy on the development of variant-specific ones, which we were initially supposed to have in spring, while pushing for further boosters of the same old versions that they have in stock, even though some sections of the population would be far better served by variant-specific ones.
Now extrapolate that to food, something that everyone needs on a daily basis and which (for some reason…) isn’t guaranteed as a basic right and provided free of charge by governments either, and which can also spread and contaminate the environment and cause hardship for the organic agriculture we should be switching more towards.
Now if the development of GMOs would be placed in the hands of scientists and international organizations that would be under heavy scrutiny and required to not patent their work and leave it fully open to verification and reproduction, and the use would be contained in order to prevent spreading into the environment or interaction with organic agriculture, the matter would be open to debate. But handing out control of the world’s food supply to Big Ag legally as well, when it already has it economically, is only a recipe for (even worse) disaster.

The one thing the article got right is that the world is overpopulated and overheated. So let’s work on those things, starting with the places where the per capita environmental footprint is the highest. The best thing one can do for the environment in the long run is not have children, while the best things to reduce the current impact are to not fly or drive and adjust dietary habits. So government policies should be aimed in those directions and not towards pipe dreams of allowing business as usual to continue thanks to techno fixes from the profit-minded private sector.

Written by Cavalary on May 20, 2022 at 9:41 PM in Society | 0 Comments