Cav's Place

I just learned that this is apparently the Week of Visibility for Non-Monogamy, and in a way it’s rather fitting, from a personal point of view, that this year it ends on July 12. But July 12 is a topic for July 12, so let me move on and say that the event seems to have existed in this form since 2024, after launching as a single day in 2023, and in a way it is an answer with a wider scope to Polyamory Day, which was apparently launched back in 2017 and is on November 23 each year, not that I knew of that either until now. Or at least I think I didn’t, though I guess there is a small chance that I have seen something about it at some point but forgot by now, not that it matters either way. And there does also seem to be a Polyamory Pride Day that’s supposed to be part of Pride Month, on June 11 it would seem, though I’m not finding sources that I’d consider to be “official” that confirm the exact date… And I can’t say that I ever noticed polyamory, or non-monogamy in general, being included in Pride events, though it really should be.
Then again, it’s not even illegal, not to mention socially unacceptable or even questionable, to discriminate based on relationship model, so the need for such efforts is greater than that for efforts in support of non-heterosexuality, at least in the more or less developed world, but at the same time it comes with risks that may understandably make those who did gain a fair degree of legal protection and social acceptance wary of the association. Plus that there is the argument that one’s relationship model is a choice, or at least more of a choice than their sexual orientation, which is fair to some extent, though negating what is right for you in such a crucial part of life is terribly difficult and, in my view, just as wrong regardless of the specific aspect in question.
Either way, my personal interest, if you want to use that term for what I think and feel is right, is being open to polyamory. Not specifically seeking multiple partners but being open to and prepared for the fact that you may fall in love with someone else while already in a romantic relationship and that this doesn’t in any way mean that you stop loving your current partner(s), much less that you need to leave them or choose between them and the new love, so you can end up having romantic relationships with up to a few different people at the same time, and perhaps be open to romantic or sexual activities with close friends as well, as long as all those involved know about it and agree and arrangements are made that everyone can be content with. And this relationship model is probably one that’s much more likely to be seen as potentially acceptable by those willing to at least consider the notion than other kinds of non-monogamy, which may lead to the same kind of wariness to associate with the larger umbrella of non-monogamy as that probably experienced by non-heterosexuals when it comes to non-monogamy, and I admit that I’d personally find it difficult to argue in favor of some of those other models, but that’s not the correct attitude and complete personal agreement isn’t necessary, what needs to be stressed being that, as long as all those involved know the specifics and give their informed consent for it all, different relationship models are exactly that, different, not good or bad, not better or worse.
Now that I check, I see that the last time I even mentioned the term “polyamory” was back in July of 2011, the last time I mentioned it in a post that wasn’t entirely personal was in 2009, and the last time I wrote specifically about this was in 2007… And that post states that I planned to continue at a later time, and in fact the post that should have continued that series has been in my drafts all this time… But all it contains is the title and a link to the previous ones. And while there are a few more recent posts if I also look for “polyamorous”, from 2019, 2016, 2012, or in October of 2011, those are just passing mentions. More on topic is the quick review for Sex at Dawn, also from 2019, where I mentioned the criticism of serial monogamy and enforced exclusivity. But I do find myself surprised by how the topic seems to have just vanished off my radar for so long despite how strongly I feel about it… But, then again, my last post specifically about relationships is also from October of 2011, so this should at least count for something, even if it’s not much. And I guess it proves that the event actually worked as intended in my case, making the topic “visible” again in my own mind.