Cav's Place

Glancing through a post which I wrote nearly four years ago and still ask anyone new to read when they seem to start giving me that particular talk, reading the full lyrics of My Dying Bride‘s The Light at the End of the World and listening to Edenbridge‘s Forever Shine On… And I guess even this combination will lose its effect now that it worked, just like everything else that helped me cry before did.
The last time I wrote that I could really cry was close to three years ago and I really don’t recall managing it since. It was on the same song back then as well, but it alone wasn’t enough to have the same effect again afterwards, though the chorus may still get my eyes a little moist if I really let it take me away. Now reading those lyrics does always get a few tears in my eyes when I reach the end, perhaps particularly because I don’t exactly do that unless I go to that post, which usually happens when I want to ask someone to read it for the reason I mentioned above, so there’s a very clear connection and it also happens rarely, but it also hasn’t been enough on its own, or even combined with the post, to make me really cry. Yet happening to have it all combine like this, with me reaching the end of the lyrics just on the final chorus of the song, seemed to have been enough, so I put the song on repeat and read the lyrics a few more times, eventually managing to cry for perhaps some 15 minutes and very briefly burst into tears a couple more times after that as well.
It’s not that it really does any good, but not even having the possibility of this release because I basically can’t cry when I’m alone is just terrible. I feel the need to and it simply isn’t happening for years, as you can see…