Cav's Place

Though the situation mentioned in the previous post from this series hasn’t changed and I therefore don’t have any actual new finds, this just offers me an opportunity to go through the hundreds of bands that have been more or less forgotten on the list, and also once again check the situation of a few I skipped over more recently, to see whether the reasons for not adding them when I previously considered doing so still applied. So, especially if I stick to including just three in a post, it’s easy to find something to add, even if I want to stick to a certain theme, which this time around will again be bands from Italy, and even if I’d also continue to only include bands with new material released within the past year, as I’ve been doing for a while… Until now.

After meaning to include them in earlier posts and eventually deciding against it, this time around I found myself just wanting to start with Ardours even if they more recently seem to be focusing on covers and don’t even have any of those recently released… And also despite the fact that we’re talking of the side project of the female vocalist of Tristania, so those who are interested in the genre likely at least know that they exist. On the other hand, Ardours is nothing like Tristania, having no growls and not sounding harsh, so those who like Tristania may well have no interest in them, just like I find quite a few things to like here but can’t even listen to Tristania. Either way, since there are no multiple albums to select from unless you count covers, I’ll just go with Last Moment and The Mist as my two picks.

The second band is Rebirth, and their name now suits them particularly well, since as far as I can see they hadn’t released anything and may well have been dormant for many years only to recently reappear, with a surprisingly nice sound, Lost being a good example. In fact, after forcing myself to listen to their earlier songs that have vocals, I’d say that their sound is shockingly good now, since those early songs are just a pain to listen to. For that reason, though it’s not something I’d normally do, I decided to not put anyone who may happen to read this through that and choose one of their instrumental songs, Like a Child, as the second pick. Then again, the fact that it seems they had switched entirely to instrumental songs before apparently going dormant may well have been caused by being quite aware of their problems at the time, and even if so many years passed since then, they now returned showing that they clearly found ways to fix them.

As for the third band, that’s Secret Rule, and they really seem to make a point of the messages of their songs. That made it somewhat harder to select my first pick, because I’d have preferred to link to others just because of those messages, but I eventually decided to go with Blunder because I like how it sounds, which is unfortunately not the case for those others. The thing is that their sound can vary a fair bit between songs, but my picks are just personal preferences, not meant to be representative examples, so for the second one I’ll go with The Song of the Universe, which may be the song that made me initially add them to the list, though it’s also possible that they were already on it when I first heard it. Either way, I clearly remember it, and the powerful vocals stand out, compared to their other songs as well.

Decided to avoid another Sunday update this time around, since it was clearly going to be another partial one anyway, so I’ll stop on August 2, since there’s more to write about the following days. But I first need to pick up from where I left off, so I’ll say that on July 26 I caught up on sleep, getting up at 3:30 PM. Then had the usual stuff, opening the last of those expired bags of nicer biscuits and having some, with added honey, as the sweet thing, drank most of the tea, sprayed myself with bug spray, put on the full running gear, but also took my backpack, with the new shoes in it, along with bags and money, and went out just after 7 PM, when the reported temperature was about 31°C, though it was likely a couple of degrees less when I started running and likely dropped a couple more by the time I finished. That was because I first quickly stopped at this nearby Mega Image to grab most of the food for Micky that I wanted to get, calculating the amount so I’ll get a 0.50 RON coin as change, then went to Carrefour, used that coin for the cabinet, leaving everything there before having a look, not getting anything, going to pee and returning to the park to run.
The time was 50:20.11, with sector times of 4:14.74, 5:10 (5:09.90), 5:59 (5:58.93), 4:38 (4:37.60), 5:21 (5:20.90), 6:17.91, 4:50 (4:49.94), 5:37 (5:36.68), 6:20 (6:19.76) and 1:54 (1:53.75), making for lap times of 15:23.57, 16:16.41 and 16:47 (16:46.38). Considering my health, with my feet already swollen again by the time I left even though they looked quite fine when I woke up, and the fact that I had walked a bit before the run and even rather rushed back to the park in order to avoid finishing in the dark, I aimed for 50 minutes, but also wanted a first lap in less than 15:30, maybe even 15:20, so I pushed from the start and was content with that first sector, not so much with the second, but the third was again fine. That took its toll though, the first sector of lap two already making me doubt I’ll stay under 50 minutes, and the next sector making it quite clear that I won’t. And, after that bad time on sector three of lap two removed even the slightest remaining chance, I took it rather easy on sector one of lap three, though on sector three of lap three and the final sector I pushed again, quite a lot, fearing I’ll fail to even stay under 50:30.
With sunset approaching, can’t say I felt the heat, and there was pretty much no wind, but there were plenty of people, and on top of a lot of weaving and going the long way around, there were also quite a few moments when I had to take to the grass, even on straights and for more than just a step or two, plus times when I had to slow or squeeze through, and also a few moments when I had to briefly stop. Those tended to be on sector two, on the first lap happening when I was about to squeeze past a large group just when a cyclist coming from the opposite direction did the same, the two of us spotting each other at the last moment, then on the second lap there was a misunderstanding with another cyclist, while on lap three I remember thinking that the awful time was entirely expected because of multiple issues caused by people, but the only one I clearly recalled, even just after I finished, was the moment when I meant to pass a guy coming from the opposite direction on the inside, he realized I was coming when I was a couple of steps away and sidestepped that way, I just managed to sidestep the other way in time, but found myself facing the girl who had been behind him, who also suddenly found herself facing me and froze, with her legs rather spread as well, so she blocked an even larger area and it’s a good thing I managed to stop before running right into her. And it was at the start of that same sector two of lap three when I stopped for a moment to see the exact time on my stopwatch. But, otherwise, my legs again felt better, less heavy, after a little while, and there were no physical issues other than the fact that I was tired after that first lap and couldn’t keep pushing… Though that final sector time, managed despite the people who prevented me from using the optimal path up the stairs, would indicate that I had a little more in me.

Returning to Carrefour after the run, got an expiring thing and corn, then changed shoes and went to the Mega Image next to the farmers’ market to get the remaining food for Micky, still not finding the one for Rocky. Then I went to Kaufland, seeing an evening discount for apples and getting some, but I tried three scales, the first showing the lowest weight and price but not printing a label despite not giving any error, then I got confused and instead of at least using the second I discarded that label and used the one from the third, which was the highest, albeit by just 0.01 RON compared to the second and 0.02 RON compared to the first. Either way, I also got a deeply discounted bun and the cornmeal I had gone there for, and had no issues with the self-checkout except waiting quite a lot.
On the way back, I checked the non-stop Mega Image next to the pharmacy and saw more types of that cat food, but the one for Rocky still wasn’t among them, and I even asked about it and was told that pretty much everything they’ll have for the next few days was already on the shelf. And it was quite some time after I walked away from there that I stopped and wondered whether I had grabbed a 0.50 RON coin left in the self-checkout machine at Kaufland and then left it in the cabinet at that Mega Image, since I didn’t have it at that point. But I hadn’t really looked at what had been left in that machine and the more I thought about it, the less likely it seemed that such a coin had been there in the first place.

It was 11:20 PM when I got back… And had a breakdown. Dad was on the phone with mother, and after a bit asked whether I had bought sugar, because mother had apparently sent me an e-mail asking for some. And I hadn’t read that, and he went on about how can someone communicate with me, that she doesn’t know how, he told her to e-mail me since I was alone for hours and could be on-line, asking what did I do to not even check, and I just snapped. I was wondering whether she had seen a sale that ended that day, but he didn’t know and didn’t even ask, just repeated that she had told me and I didn’t even look, and I just snapped. One moment I found myself on the floor, whimpering, but since I couldn’t cry I switched to anger, and while what followed is quite a blur, I know I threw off my cap, ripped off the mask and threw that on the floor too, screamed incoherently and punched and kicked things and walls, paced for a little while, screamed and punched and kicked some more…
I eventually regained enough control to check the Kaufland catalog, saw that there was no weekend discount for sugar and took dad’s phone from him to talk to mother. I was hardly coherent though, alternating between whimpering and screaming and asking her something and telling her to not say things, definitely just telling her to shut up and sort of curling on the floor when she was asking why was I crying or, for lack of a better term, pitying me… But we did sort it out with the sugar once I could think a bit more for a moment, since she had seen no discount, just wanted some, and I had bought some on a good sale before, when she said she didn’t need it, keeping it for the next time she will ask, so I took it out of the cabinet and left it for dad to take there. She also asked about a better kind of cornmeal, but I didn’t know much about that, the one I get being the cheap and worse kind.
The period when I could be sort of coherent didn’t last too long though, and eventually I was back to sitting on the floor and hugging myself and telling her to stop and just kept the phone away from my ear and I guess she hung up at some point after I got back up and was pacing and hyperventilating. And I kept doing that, which led to getting dizzy as well, and I also kept snapping and kicking things at any nuisance. But I eventually went to shower and got back to the kitchen at 1:25 AM, though before even starting to make the salad I took half an hour to wash what was there to wash, including a large jug dad had asked me to help him wash earlier that day, just doing my part. Started eating dinner at 3:25 AM and got in bed at 5:20 AM.

The following day I was obviously hiding from dad and not saying a word, and I started boiling the corn while he was away, but he came back while the pot was on the stove and I was on the toilet, so I couldn’t get back to the kitchen when I should have done so and the pot got rather burned as a result. Then, at 7:15 PM, after eating some of that corn, I went out, leaving dad a note saying I’ll be back after he leaves and first going to this bigger Mega Image, looking for the food for Rocky. Just like the one for Micky bought the day before, I was buying it despite dad telling me not to, and mother hadn’t asked for more either, but I’m not adding it to what they should pay me back for until they will ask at a time when it’ll be more expensive, at which point I’ll ask them to “buy” it from me at that price. That time could have been now, since at least Micky was running out, but Mega Image oddly has an even better sale now for those using the store card, which dad has, so I’ll keep what I bought for another time.
Either way, I did find some of that food at that location, but only 15 cans, and the offer was four for the price of three, so I could only get 12. Asked whether they had a full box and was told they didn’t have any more at all, and then spent quite some time searching, including around and under shelves, and couldn’t even find one more, to be able to get 16. So I also went to the location close to the clinic, finding 35 there, which again meant I was one short, as I would have taken 36 if I’d have been able to, so they’d have added up to two full boxes. And yes, asked whether they had any unopened boxes there as well, and again was told they didn’t. So I settled for 24 in the end, leaving some for others, and also got some carrots that were in the pile of spoiling things, though they seemed quite fine, and I was actually charged just 0.50 RON for those carrots even though they should have been 0.55 RON on their own, and Mega Image tends to charge for the bag they’re in as well, which didn’t happen that time. And then I also went to Kaufland, looking for evening discounts and expiring products and getting bread for myself, a pastry, some roes and some potatoes, getting back just before 10:55 PM. Had that sweet pastry and some watermelon at that point, but didn’t otherwise have lunch that day and started eating dinner at 3:20 AM. Got in bed at 5:20 AM.

Since there were announcements stating that water, both hot and cold, will be turned off on July 28, for repairs in the building’s basement, I slept little and badly that morning, getting up to try to get some things done before it’ll be turned off, and while dad slept, since I continued to hide from him, and have done so for quite a while. Even had lunch in the morning… Only for the water to apparently not be turned off after all. And since I just napped a little more in the afternoon, and maybe for just a few more minutes in the evening, I was sleepy all day. Also screamed again, while I was alone, when I saw how dad had sliced a watermelon he had bought, and that he had sliced it at all when the other one wasn’t yet finished. On the other hand, in the afternoon I sent a first message to the hospital I’d have been sent to, attaching the recommendations and asking for information. Started eating dinner at 3:15 AM.

On July 29, dad came out of the living room the moment I went to the kitchen to throw away what I had cleaned from the litter box, so I quickly closed the door, but he took some things out of the freezer, opened the door and started saying he’ll cook something, at which point I just ran, letting that piece of plywood that got loose fall, since only the open door holds it in place. Good thing I already had tea, made at night, in case the water would be turned off that day instead, and then I grabbed a few things to eat when I went to the toilet in the evening. After dad left, hung the laundry to dry, after putting it in the machine earlier, washed what I had to wash in the kitchen, made another tea, cooked and made salad, starting to eat dinner at 3:25 AM, while leaving the rest of what I was cooking on the stove for a while longer so the water will boil off. Got in bed at 5:20 AM.

On July 30, dad got up at the same time I did, but I had woken up earlier at one point, making tea while washing what he had left in the kitchen after eating after he got back from work, so at least I had tea again. Grabbed a couple more things later, then went out, the main reason being that I had to finally take that voucher to that store, dad having finally printed it for me after I had left him a note to ask about it again, and I had told them I’ll at least hand it over by the end of the month. Meant to leave at 7:05 PM, but was a couple of minutes late, and then spent a few more minutes on the first bench after crossing the road, to rearrange the last part of the shoelaces of my new shoes, to tie them the same way I tie the others.
Either way, first made a quick stop in the Mega Image on the way to Penny, not getting anything from there, then got a few things from Penny, then continued to Kaufland, though I made a little detour just before getting there, crossing the road to check that Mega Image as well, not that I got anything from there either, nor from Kaufland at first, just checking prices. After that, finally got to that store and handed the voucher to one of the cashiers, then went to Carrefour and got a few things, including a watermelon, after spending quite some time selecting it, or in fact it and another one at first, since I meant to get two but eventually settled just on that one. Then I went back to Kaufland, getting a few things from there as well, including some onions, for which I had to dig and open a new bag, since those left in the crates that were on top were bad, but I picked up one crate, looked in the one under it and there was an unopened bag with pretty nice ones in it, nothing like what was on top, so I struggled for a while to make enough of an opening and then got some from there. On the other hand, as I was at the bakery area, looking at some pastries and trying to persuade myself to ask the employee whether the evening discount applied to those as well, since they were already discounted and, unlike other products, had no additional discount label, she took that tray and dumped them out, as I guess she was doing with everything else that was left, since it was 10 PM. In other locations they don’t seem to do that, applying much higher discounts instead, and it’s so infuriating to know that all that food’s just thrown away!
Either way, I got back just after 11:10 PM, having carried nearly 15 kg. Hadn’t had lunch earlier and didn’t have it then either, just grabbing some boiled corn and a banana, and it was almost 1:30 AM when I got back to the kitchen, and well after 2 AM when I actually started making the salad, so it’s unsurprising that I started eating dinner at 3:35 AM. It’s somewhat worse that I only finished eating at 5:15 AM, got in bed at 5:30 AM… And it was still morning when I got up, when dad left. And then, later that day, I cleaned my room a little and also changed the sheets. I did spend some two and a half hours in bed in the evening, but barely napped a little bit, and was increasingly panicked because of the symptoms I was noticing…

Moving on to the early hours of August 2, I only went to the kitchen at 1:50 AM, since dad was still going there until then, so of course there were things to wash as well, and I again started eating dinner at 3:35 AM. Then, in the evening, there was a long power failure after something popped loudly outside, the log stating that it started at 10:23 PM. When I first called, there was no message specifically for this area, but there was one for a nearby one, which I assumed applied here as well, stating that power should return around 1 AM. So, when I went to water the flowers, I didn’t see that dad had already done that until water started spilling and I had to struggle to gather it. Then I decided to try to plant the root of a lettuce with root I had bought, since I was going to use the last leaves for that night’s salad, and struggled with that as well while the pasta was boiling. Then I made pasta and salad, and during that time I called again and a message about this specific area had appeared, stating that power should return around 2:30 AM. But that time also came and went, I was done with everything, had even eaten pasta in the kitchen, and a bit after 2:40 AM I called again, hearing a new message, stating 5:30 AM! So I ate in the kitchen, and when, a bit after 3 AM, there was another blast outside, with a lot of sparks as well, I was thinking that the chances of the power returning even at 5:30 AM didn’t look good, and was worried about the fridge. However, the power actually returned mere minutes later, so the outage lasted about 4 hours and 45 minutes. Did wait for 15 more minutes, then plugged the fridge back in, turned the computer back on… Only for the power to fail again mere minutes later. That outage lasted for less than two minutes, so it wasn’t an issue for the computer, but it definitely made me worry even more about the fridge.

Continuing from where I left off, on July 18 I left at 7:25 PM, first having a quick look in the Carrefour from the park, looking for frozen pizza that was cheaper than what I’d find at Kaufland, dad having asked for some. But I didn’t see any, so I then went to the newer Kaufland, getting there at 8:10 PM when it was closing at 9 PM, so I first washed my hands and then checked the bakery area, seeing an employee placing the labels with the 75% discounts. She hadn’t yet placed one for the bread I get from there, but there was just one left and I was completely out, so I grabbed it, wondering whether it’ll be 75% off when I’ll get to the checkout, but the employee didn’t place that label when she saw there were none left when she got there and it was still 50% off in the end. Either way, I grabbed one more thing from there, and then one more after first getting some expiring breads for dad, then got some yogurt that was on sale, and then finally looked for frozen pizzas and found some of their brand that were cheap enough, getting a few before going back to also grab discounted cucumbers and onions and rushing to the self-checkout. The machine was telling me to place the correct product on the scales when I placed the cucumbers though, even though the weight was correct, and I actually checked again on the scales that are on that hallway after leaving, when I also used those scales to get some labels that I used to close the bag with the bakery products. But, to return to the self-checkout, I also had a discounted kohlrabi, which was in a bag and had a label, so it needed to be scanned and it wouldn’t scan, but I just left it there, not asking for the employee again and rushing to get out at closing time.
It was only after leaving that I noticed that I had an SMS from dad, sent probably just when I got in line at the self-checkouts, or maybe as I was rushing towards them, asking me to get a couple more things, but it was too late to go back. So I returned to Carrefour, getting there at 9:30 PM when it closes at 10 PM, got a few things from there as well and got back here a little before 10:20 PM. On the way up, however, I saw that the door to the garbage room on this floor was open, a bag like the ones we have was just there, a beer can was clearly visible in it, and dad had said earlier that it reeked and he’ll just leave our trash there when he’ll go out. So I asked whether he threw away a beer can in the trash, and after first saying he didn’t know and doesn’t look, he eventually admitted it and we argued, I shouted, at Micky too since she kept meowing at that point, and then went silent, just telling him to go to the bathroom if he wanted to before I showered, after having another late lunch, finished right at midnight. Started eating dinner at 3:10 AM.

On July 19, I went out at 4 PM, going back to this store I won those vouchers for after this summer’s Dream Trek. Looked at some shoes, grabbed four kinds, tried them on, but only those I was least interested in were size 42, and that 42 was clearly large, so I asked whether they had any of them in 41.5 or 42, and just in 41.5 for that one, and the employee returned after quite some time to tell me that they didn’t. That made me think I’ll need to perhaps take another long walk to Baneasa, since they also have a store there and that’s likely to have a larger stock, but then I saw that the other shoe on display of the kind that was available in size 42 but was large was size 40.5, yet the sizes listed in other systems were 8 for USA and 26 cm, which are the same as those listed on the label of the old shoes I was wearing, even though those list an EU size of 42, so I tried those on and they seemed all right at that moment. Admittedly, I also wanted them to fit, to get it over with, and rather rushed, but in the end, even if they were the ones I was least interested in out of those I had initially picked, I said I’ll get them, along with a running belt and a t-shirt, adding up to exactly 300 RON, which was the amount the voucher covered. Had tried and checked the two size M t-shirts of that kind on display, then asked whether they had any in size S as well, again being told that they didn’t, so I made do with M.
Well, things weren’t straightforward at checkout, but at first that was for a good reason, because both the belt and the t-shirt scanned for a lower price than the listed one, so when I saw that, and that I needed something else in order to use the voucher, I ran and grabbed that other size M t-shirt of that kind, getting the total to 302 RON. Then I showed the picture of the voucher on my phone and the cashier called someone else, who apparently knew what to do with those… Only for that other employee to tell me that, even though I had been told, when I asked by e-mail, that just telling my name should be enough, I should have printed out the voucher or forwarded them the e-mail in order to verify it, and I obviously couldn’t do that on the spot. But I gave her my ID card, she looked on the list of winners, eventually found me and accepted the voucher, yet told me that I should nevertheless bring them the printed vouchers, in color, when or if I’ll come to also use the other one, offering just 50% off the full price, and I heard her mention to a coworker that there was just one list of names and, while I was on it, she couldn’t know whether I had actually won both or not. And, while the e-mail had stated that winners would be given a membership card when they’ll use the vouchers, offering 20% off future purchases, I was told they couldn’t do that because the cards weren’t ready. But I actually consider that to be a good thing, since I avoid such programs… Though, admittedly, after I showed my ID card in order to use the voucher, that store already had my information.

By the time I walked out, it was too late to get back at 6 PM, as planned, so I also went to that Carrefour, grabbing expiring eggs and some potatoes, then put those new shoes on as I was about to leave that mall. They felt tight on the way back though, yet in spite of that I decided to just change my pants with the tights, leaving the regular t-shirt on, eat an apple, drink the rest of the tea, and go back out just after 8:10 PM, for a run in the new shoes. I clearly didn’t get them for running, but to replace the old ones I wear on the street, and the way they fit obviously wasn’t going to allow me to really run in them, but I wanted to see how they’d feel, taking a while to try different ways to tie the shoelaces before leaving, and then doing that again, probably for even longer, while sitting on a bench after I got to the park. I eventually found a way that seemed to take away most of the pain they caused in one place, which seemed the worst issue at first, but others remained. Yet I ran anyway.
The time was 52:20, with sector times of 4:35, 5:28, 6:17, 4:51, 5:29, 6:31, 5:00, 5:45, 6:27 and 1:57, making for lap times of 16:20, 16:51 and 17:12. For some reason I didn’t have another look at the stopwatch to at least write the exact total time, and that of the last sector, and then forgot all about it until after the next run, so I have no exact times at all for this one. Not that they’d matter, since it’s a new worst time since I ran while still recovering from that bad flu, in January of 2019, “beating” the one from June 22, but I guess I had excuses that time, with those shoes punishing my feet and after having walked quite a few kilometers, and in fact at first I feared I’d need to only aim for 54 minutes. I’m not even entirely certain of that 5:00 on sector one of lap three, and therefore also the 5:45 on the next sector, since it eventually got dark, I was trying to press both the light and interval buttons and my leg was still in the air when I did, perhaps not having quite reached what I consider to be the end of the sector, but I’ll go with it. And, while I did slow a few times in order to see better, this stopwatch is indeed better when it comes to the light, quite fine in the dark and relatively visible even in low light, though that period, before it actually gets dark, remains an issue.
I didn’t check the temperature when I left, but I saw when I got back that around 27°C was reported at 9 PM, and it was almost 8:40 PM when I started running. The park was crowded though, so there was weaving, going the long way around, squeezing through, searching for paths and taking to the grass, including on straights. Managed to avoid actually stopping until the end of the second sector, but at that point, under the bridge, a big roadblock made me lose a few seconds. Another brief stop came on the next sector, for another roadblock, and another on sector one of lap two, because of cyclists coming quickly when I had to cross the lane. Should have been able to just do so ahead of them, but that crash is obviously still on my mind and I guess I froze for a moment. Then I just avoided stops on the next sector, though under the bridge I took a couple of steps pretty much at a walk, and on sector three I went behind that stall where people tend to gather. Another brief stop was in front of a different stall on sector three of lap three, and I believe I again went behind that other one, though I wasn’t sure of it by the time I got back. There might have been another brief stop earlier on lap three, but couldn’t quite recall that either.
Assessed the damage after I got back, seeing blood on the right shoe, since it really hurt me on the outside of the ankle, and a broken blister on the little toe of the left foot, a new and large blister forming there after I showered. Just some redness on the little toe of the right foot though, and even less redness on the outside of the left ankle. And at the back they actually seemed a bit large, so the shape seems odd, or at least not agreeing with that of my feet. But there seemed to be a somewhat better option available, since when I checked the site, before showering, I saw size 41 also listed as available for that model at that location, and the table stated that 41 for that model meant 8.5 for USA and 26.5 cm, which is what’s on the label of my current running shoes, even though those are also size 42. So after the shower I cleaned the new shoes and at night I sent e-mails to this location of the store and also to the woman who sent me the vouchers, explaining that I had been there that day and got those shoes and asking if they could confirm that they also had size 41 there, or even in another location in Bucharest, apologizing for the trouble and saying I hoped I’ll be able to exchange the ones I got with a 41. Otherwise, started eating dinner at 3:20 AM. And only got in bed at 6:25 AM, staying to watch something first.

On July 20, I woke up scratching a spot on my left arm, eventually seeing red and a bit of swelling, another spot becoming noticeable later, towards the elbow, and hours later I spotted one more, on the right arm. And they, or at least those from the left arm, sure kept itching, and after leaning on that elbow for a while, forgetting that I had that bite there, that one got a lot worse and was badly swollen at night. So I really should have used bug spray before going out to run at that hour…
Either way, while there was no reply from the store to that e-mail, there was one from the woman who had sent me the vouchers, saying that of course I could exchange the shoes and she’ll tell them to have the size 41 ones ready, and also repeating that I didn’t need to print that voucher unless I happen to have a color printer around. So at 9 PM I rushed out, getting to the store just before 9:25 PM when it closed at 10 PM. And they did have the shoes ready, with a note with my name on the box, the woman who was there saying it was no trouble when I apologized for the trouble, though she mentioned in a rather reproving manner that they did need that voucher printed too, again going against what I kept being told by the one replying to my e-mails. Also, as I tried those shoes on and walked around the store for a bit, I heard the two cashiers mutter to each other and the guy was saying that “he” should have gotten there earlier to try things on, not make them wait at that hour. I’m not entirely sure I was the “he” in question, but they did seem to be looking towards me, though a couple of other customers were also in the store at the time. Either way, when I confirmed that I’ll take them, they had to call someone in order to be told the procedure, but they eventually sorted it out and a mere 15 minutes after walking in I walked out. Didn’t put the new shoes back on though, giving my feet a rest.
Went to Kaufland after that, finding watermelon at a decent price again, and dad had said that my mother had asked for some and he meant to buy it from another place, at a significantly higher price, so I got two. At one point, a woman suddenly held one that kept falling over those I was trying to look at, so after thanking her and selecting the second one out of those, I helped her as well, eventually lifting one she wanted, but it sure was hard to reach and dig through the remaining watermelons in that tall box… Otherwise, also got a few things that had the evening discount applied, and took photos of some other things my mother wanted, so she’ll know exactly what’s available and the price, since the discount that was to be applied to certain types of products from certain brands as of the next day was a percentage… Not that it helped, since dad apparently didn’t even send them to her, telling me to only get what was in the picture in the catalog, though those were only examples. But at least it gave me something to do as I waited for 10:30 PM, in case the evening discounts would increase again. But they didn’t, so I eventually made my way to the self-checkout, having no issues with the machine but being about to piss myself by that point, so I stuffed everything in a larger cabinet and rushed to the bathroom, then retrieved the purchases and was at the building entrance at 11:15 PM.

On July 21, the alarm woke me up at 10 AM, since I had signed up to volunteer to make packages for people from Rosia Montana affected by floods. Listed myself as available starting at noon, hoping I’ll manage to leave quickly, but it was 12:05 PM when I walked out, after just wasting time on the toilet even though I definitely felt I had to go and then pretty uselessly, as I already mentioned, discussing what my mother wanted with dad. And then even more time passed until I actually got on my way, turning around after a little while and getting back to the building entrance, since I couldn’t find the shopping list, only deciding to check the backpack and finding it there, where I didn’t remember putting it, right before going back up. Had also taken a fish can with me, to drop in a recycling bin, and when I turned around I left it on the sidewalk, but I picked it back up when I reached that spot again and threw it in the proper bin. But at least there were no other issues on the way there, just stopping to pee at the Auchan from Vitan.
Once I did reach that location, however, the gate guard called after me, asking where I wanted to go, and after I told him he said I had to go all around, on that road with no sidewalk, adding that it wasn’t allowed to go that way and making a worried comment about what’d have happened if one of the bosses would have seen me when I told him I had taken a more direct route before, twice. So I went that way, also asking the next guard I saw, to make sure there really was no other way. Then, when I was approaching the actual location, another guy asked what he could help me with and told me to wave at the people in that tent, so they’ll open the gate. It took them a while to notice me though, as they were just having lunch when I got there, around 1:30 PM.
Anastasia asked whether I was hungry, but I said I had just arrived, thinking there will either be another break or, if we’ll finish earlier, I’ll eat at the end, so she gave me some instructions and I went right to work. I was also asked whether I was vaccinated, being told that in that case the mask was optional, though we were inside, but while others didn’t I chose to take one and wear it anyway, keeping mine for other times. I should have also taken gloves, however, but I refused those and ended up with some blood on my hands while struggling to close boxes, after already having some scrapes on my hands after trying on shoes. But I guess I did my part, putting products in bags and bags in boxes, closing boxes… Couldn’t lift the boxes though. And it was quite unpleasant that the lids weren’t placed properly on the jars of zacusca, and that was obviously how they had been shipped from the manufacturer, since they were shrink-wrapped but we had to tighten the lids, and even ended up putting a few jars aside, since the lids were almost completely off.
Towards the end, I also checked bags, a guy who I guess was there with his father seeming to really rush and not just not arrange things properly but also forget to add some products, or perhaps tie a bag before someone else finished putting everything in it, since I found a few bags with missing items. And I knew said father, though I’m not sure how, and he also obviously knew me, calling me by name at the end and asking whether I wanted a ride. But he left a bit after we ran out of things to do, since we didn’t have the products needed to complete the last few bags, and I stayed until the very end. Some had left right after lunch, so shortly after I got there, after having worked all morning, actually putting together most of the bags, and after those two also left at that point, a few of us remained to wait for the guy to come and take that second load of boxes, the first having been taken not long after I got there. I must admit that one reason why I stayed was that I was rather hoping for food, and had also considered grabbing a banana earlier, but I never said anything, nobody else mentioned food, I was some distance away when Anastasia asked someone else whether she wanted some bars, I think cereal bars, the remaining pizza boxes weren’t opened again, so I don’t know whether anything was even left in them, and that was that.

A storm seemed to be coming as we were getting ready to leave, but it fortunately didn’t, at least not until I was in Kaufland. So I was walking away from that place by 4:20 PM, much earlier than expected, and I only had the wind to deal with as I first went back to Auchan, peeing again and deciding to get food for Micky, noticing that it was on sale… Only to then see that it was going to have a much lower price in Mega Image during the first part of the following week. Either way, also got a bread and a chocolate for myself, then went to that newer Kaufland, only managed to put my things in the third cabinet I tried, and got what my mother wanted and some cheap bananas and cucumbers. Also meant to get some corn and a kohlrabi that were discounted because they were starting to spoil, but I wasn’t sure I could afford them, so it was a good thing that I eventually managed to find the spot where they should have been on the shelves and saw that they were imported, which made it easy to give up on them. Then I calculated everything carefully, to include the discounts that were to be applied at checkout, and went to the self-checkout… Which refused to accept that I had placed the grapefruits on the scales, so I had to call the employee over, and also reweighed them at that point and they ended up costing 0.01 RON less. And I saw quite a number of coins, including a 0.50 RON one, left in the next machine, so I grabbed them on my way out.
It was wet when I left the store, and after I got back dad said there had been a storm, but by that point it was only drizzling, and even that stopped after a little while. So I also went to that store that’s next to that Penny, asking for the smallest of the three pieces of the cheese I wanted that were left and finding that the price meant handing over all the bills I had left as well as some of the coins. I’d have had enough even without the coins found in that machine, but only barely… I wasn’t given a receipt though, and couldn’t get myself to ask for one.
Got back at 8:20 PM, thinking the weather would have been good for running if I’d have gone out right after that rain, being quite cool and the wind having pretty much vanished completely. It was a bit later, when I got back to my room, that I saw I had left the monitor on, and lines from the desktop background and icons were burned in. Saw such lines before and didn’t know what caused them, so at least I figured that out, and they went away again after a while. Otherwise, had lunch after dad left, while spending some time on-line, then showered, and after doing a few other things I was only really back in the kitchen around 1:30 AM, at which point I had to clean what dad had left after cooking, so I could only start making salad around 2:30 AM and started eating dinner at 3:30 AM. I just managed to get in bed at 5:15 AM, but then realized I hadn’t placed the bread bought from Auchan in the freezer, so I got back up to do that, handling it with my hands as they were, with hand cream on, but then realizing I had to wash that plate it had been on and ending up washing off the cream anyway.

The following night I started eating dinner at 3:15 AM, after having had lunch shortly after waking up, though I also had a large bag of corn puffs late in the evening. Then I did actually manage to get in bed at 5:15 AM and got up, with the alarm, at 2 PM, to watch the opening ceremony of the Olympics. During the ceremony, I did the day’s squats, since the time for the planned half marathon run was going to be awful anyway and tiring myself a little more wasn’t going to make much of a difference, had the usual stuff, with almonds and raisins in dark chocolate added in the yogurt and cereals, and since the ceremony ended up being almost an hour longer than it should have been, also sprayed myself with the bug spray, considering the bites I had ended up with after the previous run, before going to the toilet once it was over. Then I had a protein bar as well, put on the full running gear, with some things in the pocket of my tights, finished the tea and went out at 6:40 PM, when the reported temperature was about 27°C, supposed to drop by a couple of degrees by the time I’ll finish.
The time was 1:50:53, with sector times of 4:32, 5:11, 6:12, 4:39, 5:24, 6:12, 4:44, 5:23, 6:22, 4:53, 5:32, 6:24, 4:54, 5:41, 6:34, 4:56, 5:45, 6:31, 2:00, 7:03 and 2:01, making for lap times of 15:55, 16:15, 16:29, 16:49, 17:09 and 17:12, plus 11:04 for that final portion. The target times I had in mind at first added up to 1:54, then I changed them to add up to 1:53, not thinking it’d be any better than that and simply not calculating to realize that it was. Sort of thought I’ll stay under 1:52, but really didn’t realize I’ll be under 1:51 until I saw it, and that was despite the right shoelace coming undone on sector two of the final portion, resulting in that bad time, since it had ended up knotted as well, so I’d say it caused me to lose over 30 seconds, maybe around 40. But it’d have been frustrating without that loss of time, since I’d have ended up finishing in 1:50:15 or so, annoyingly close to staying under 1:50… Not that just staying under 1:50 wouldn’t still be an awful time.
The heat wasn’t actually that bad to begin with, but it still bothered me for a while and I definitely felt the difference later, when it got cooler and less sunny. As for physical issues, other than the lack of energy, my legs felt quite heavy at first and my right knee was also complaining a little, so the first sector was hard, I didn’t push and thought it’d be another awful run, but it got better after a while, only on sector three of lap six my right ankle, and again the right knee, giving some warnings. There were plenty of people though, so there was weaving, going the long way around, squeezing through, taking to the grass, a few times going quite wide while doing so, slowing… Sector two of lap two and sector two of lap five were the worst, with two roadblocks requiring brief stops on each, plus other moments when I had to slow or, in case of sector two of lap five, got pushed off the path by a girl on a bicycle, needing to go quite wide and around benches, since there were other people there as well. Only went behind that stall where people usually gather the last time I passed it, on the final portion, managing to squeeze through otherwise, even if that meant taking to the grass once or twice. There was another stall where the crowd made me briefly stop at one point, however.

After the run, I quickly checked the Mega Image next to the farmers’ market, then went to Auchan for what my mother had asked for. Got two though, considering the second one as an investment, since dad had told me to not buy things for us before we’re running out anymore, regardless of sales, since he won’t be able to pay me back for them, so I decided that if I’ll go against that, I won’t tell him about it and won’t ask for the money back at his next paycheck, but instead hold on to the products until we will need them and then ask him to “buy” them from me at the lowest price they’ll have at that point, obviously running a small risk of ending up at a loss, in case some amazing sale would take place just then, but most likely standing to make a pretty nice profit. But, to return to what happened in Auchan, the so-called “fast” checkouts, where you pay at a machine, were closing by the time I got to one, so I had to use a regular one instead.
Then I also went to the newer Kaufland, getting a few things but only realizing at the self-checkout that I had forgotten the lemons on the crates of potatoes, so I rushed back, grabbed them again… And, while all were free when I first got there, by the time I returned, seconds later, all the machines that also accept cash were in use, an employee unblocking the one I had been using for the next customer. And I also had to call for help when my turn came, since the machine wouldn’t accept that the potatoes were the correct product. The cucumber was even cheaper than the listed price though, and way cheaper than those I had gotten the previous time, which we were yet to even touch. Either way, after somehow catching a spiderweb on the street again, I was back at 11:22 PM, and after just having a banana after showering, I started eating dinner at 3:15 AM. Seeing as I only started making mamaliga around 1 AM, however, that means I was quite fast. And I got in bed at 5:20 AM.

And, in order to have this post cover seven days, I’ll also add that on July 24 I slept little and poorly, cutting my losses and getting up at 10:25 AM, then had lunch in the afternoon and started eating dinner at 3:15 AM. And I again only got back in bed at 5:20 AM. My feet were swelling badly again though, and I also keep feeling that my left eye was swelling as well, though I have since realized that the fact that I tend to keep my left elbow on the desk and that hand on my face when I’m at the computer and not typing may have something to do with the feeling I have on the left side of my face… And it definitely has a lot to do with the fact that my right hand seems quite clearly swollen when compared with the left.

I’ve been repeating this so many times I find it quite surprising that I haven’t made it into a post yet. Realized it some time ago, when I meant to send it as a message to someone, but since I didn’t send the message I didn’t write the post either, so I’m finally getting around to it now. And I’ll also include a link I’m surprised I haven’t included yet, to that article by David Benatar that I also tend to point people to when I say this, and maybe sometimes not only then.

To get right to it… Life is suffering, and then you die, which if the rational viewpoint is correct means that all the suffering is pointless, while if the spiritual one is correct likely means that even more suffering follows, one way or another. The only way to win this game is to not play it… But your entry is decided by others. Worse, instead of the terrible crime it actually is, at least for a thinking, feeling being under the current circumstances, that’s seen by them, as well as by society as a whole, as a great thing, and also something you should be deeply grateful for, the general understanding being that something must be wrong with you if you’re not.
In the past, though conditions were in fact much worse, maybe humanity’s overall lack of knowledge was something of an excuse, and the lack of education and reduced opportunities to train or even practice rational thought offered most people few chances to avoid falling prey to their basic instincts, and also to the manipulation of the forces that ruled and steered society. And there was also the lack of safe and reliable contraception, not to mention sterilization, for those who would have wanted it. On the other hand, there may be a theoretical chance that things could change, that a society and a world that’d actually be worth living in for a thinking, feeling being could somehow exist, if those of us who are already here would create it. But it definitely doesn’t exist now, and there are no indications that we’re even heading in that direction, in fact quite the opposite.
So why do we keep throwing people onto this world that we continue to recklessly trash, causing great harm to them and to the world as a whole, even now when we have both the knowledge and the means to do better, when those of us already here should dedicate ourselves to creating that world where life would truly be worth living, as improbable as it may be, and avoid creating any more people at all costs until and unless we’ll achieve that?

On July 6, so the day after the one spent at the hospital, I got up at 4:50 PM, just getting up to pee once until then. My first reaction at that point, even more so after having a look at my feet and seeing that they looked quite normal, was to think that the previous day had been a nightmare, didn’t really happen. On top of being so terrified of what having such problems meant and of needing to continue the investigations, I just couldn’t believe I could do something like that, go to a hospital and stay there and not lose it completely, even more so considering the amount of time. But after lying there for a while and staring at the ceiling I had to accept that it had actually happened, though I couldn’t and wouldn’t think about the next steps.

After starting to eat dinner at 3:05 AM and getting in bed at 5:25 AM, I didn’t set an alarm on the morning of July 7, but saw 1:53 PM when I got up. Then I had the usual stuff plus almonds, with a slice of something from my mother, with added jam, as the sweet thing, put on the full running gear, with some things in the pocket of my tights, but only went out at 7:15 PM. The reported temperature was around 29°C, supposed to drop by a couple of degrees by the time I’ll finish, but it had briefly rained earlier in the afternoon and had also drizzled just before I left.
The time was 50:45.92, with sector times of 4:32, 5:22, 6:09, 4:42, 5:23, 6:17, 4:45, 5:25, 6:14 and 1:56.91, making for lap times of 16:03, 16:22 and 16:24. When I saw that first sector, I thought 52 minutes was going to be my target, but I didn’t slow as much as I thought I would on lap two, so 51:30 became a clear target, and then lap three was also less bad than I feared and I actually had target times for 51 minutes from the start of it. Just barely made the first two though, so I kept pushing and sector three was actually less slow than that of lap two, so while that final sector from the half marathon run was a warning that I was far from safe, that time I could still run and was well under 51 minutes at the end… But that’s an utterly awful time anyway.
There was some wind in a few places, but the cooling factor it brought was probably more of a benefit than going against it harmed. Felt a few drops towards the end of sector two of lap two, which grew to a drizzle on the next sector and a light rain at the start of lap three, but that didn’t last long, as it returned to a drizzle by the end of sector one and later to just some drops again. Plenty of people though, so on top of weaving and going the long way around, I also had to squeeze through, occasionally slow, and a few times take to the grass. And roadblocks made me briefly stop on sectors two and three of lap one, and I think sector three of lap two, though there’s a chance it was on sector two. And then a misunderstanding with a cyclist again made me briefly stop on sector one of lap three, and there might have been at least one more brief stop after that, but my mind seemed to have decided to stop storing and I couldn’t quite remember by the time I got back. Physically, that bone spur was in a somewhat wrong position from the start and I didn’t quite snap it back, but otherwise there were no specific problems except the lack of energy.

Jogged to Kaufland after the run, getting green and red onions, cherries and lettuce at evening discounts, the lettuce actually being discounted even more by the time I got to the checkout, and also some bakery products at what turned out to be 49% off, the announcement saying that they were half off but the price labels not being changed, the employee telling someone else that they were half the listed price but that apparently not being quite the case. Also saw some bread, not the kind I’d normally get from there but would have gotten one if that’d have also been at half price, but that was before that other guy asked and I couldn’t get myself to ask, and by the time I got back the employee was taking the bread away and she had already done so for that kind. It sure is infuriating that they seem to throw away bakery products… But, to return to my purchases, also got some expiring sour cream and two bags of cat litter. Then I went to the self-checkout, saw a free machine, with the light being green, but when I went to it, it asked whether I wanted to continue shopping, I hit no, it asked for an employee, and two came when I called one over, one seeming to be training the other. The one who seemed to be in training logged on, then logged off to let me start, but seemed to have left me with someone’s store card still registered, the machine saying at the end that it wasn’t activated. But I could just pass over that and finish, getting back at 10 PM, having carried 15 kg. Then I had a late lunch, finished after midnight, and got back to the kitchen late, after showering, and there were things to clean after dad cooked as well, and I ended up starting to eat dinner at 3:20 AM.

On the morning of July 9, I got in bed at 5:20 AM, and after getting up earlier I left just after 2:10 PM, also taking the recyclables, which I dropped off in a bin on the way, and the stuff I drop off I Kaufland, which I dropped off there, after very briefly glancing in a store on the way. Then I checked prices at Kaufland and saw just one of the discounted bags of cat litter in their normal place, so I got it and left it in a cabinet, then went to that mall and had a look through the store I won those vouchers for, as a result of taking part in this summer’s Dream Trek, before going to Carrefour and finding plenty of nice expiring things, also bags of bananas that were discounted because they were spoiling, spotting one that wasn’t as bad, also an unannounced discount for Micky’s food, and the potatoes and tea I had mainly gone there for. The flimsy bag I had tore as I walked away from the checkout, after rushing and also throwing the cat food in it instead of the sturdy one, but nothing cracked and I could just pick everything back up and use the other bags I had. Then I got back to Kaufland, getting a bread at the regular price and a watermelon, that being the first time this year I saw Romanian ones at a somewhat decent price, plus an expiring thing and one more bag of cat litter, after spotting a pile of them in a different place. Meant to throw away the mask before leaving, in the bin they have for that, but forgot, realizing it outside but not going back up. It’d have been hard to get back anyway, as I was carrying a total of about 28.5 kg, so the sturdy bags and backpack at least made it possible to get back here, at 6:05 PM, the walk taking me just over 40 minutes.
However, I had also seen cucumbers, supposedly Romanian, at less than the announced price in Kaufland, and when I got here dad said he wanted to pickle some more, I asked if he wanted me to go back, he said no, I stressed that in that case he must not buy at a higher price from elsewhere, he said he won’t and will just give up on the idea… But I decided to go anyway, to get some more cat litter, look for evening discounts, make it feel that I deserved the expiring pieces of vegan cozonac I had grabbed from Carrefour, so I left again at 7 PM, also using the opportunity to check and see that the area around the National Arena was still closed off. Had a quick look in another store as I passed through that mall, then checked Carrefour again and grabbed a bit of garlic and one of the expiring bio (organic) yogurts which had appeared in that area, then got back to Kaufland for the cucumbers, also finding a kind of lettuce at a decent price thanks to the evening discount and a few lemons that were also discounted. Was thinking of getting two, but in the end grabbed just one more bag of cat litter, so I won’t break another 50 RON bill, and also a single orange, to get the total to exactly 10 RON, and was back a bit before 9 PM, after also having a quick look in this nearby store that dad tends to buy from, since he also needed dill and neither Carrefour nor Kaufland had any left at that hour. Didn’t see any at that store either, but I later learned that I probably didn’t look where I should have looked.
Had a banana and one of those slices of cozonac after finally getting back for good, but then only started eating lunch at 12:30 AM, rushing to finish before going back to the kitchen at 1 AM. Got in bed at 5:20 AM, worrying over the fact that a small amount of data appeared to continuously be received when I meant to turn off the network chipset, yet after waiting for a moment, before actually turning it off, Comodo Firewall no longer displayed any active connections. But that might have been an error, since something seemed messed up when I turned the network chipset on that night and I hadn’t rebooted, and after rebooting the next day I didn’t notice the issue again.

On July 11 I left a bit after 4:15 PM, going to the protest which was to take place at Cotroceni Palace, asking the President to act and show his continued support for Rosia Montana‘s inclusion on UNESCO’s World Heritage List, following information that the Prime Minister meant to withdraw or at least not support the nomination. But I left that early because I also meant to check another location of that store I won those vouchers for, and that meant that a drizzle which occasionally switched to light rain started as I reached Izvor Park, yet it would appear that it was actually better that way, since I was at that mall a bit after 6 PM, checked that store, also asked for boots, being told that they don’t have any in the store at this time of year, also quickly checked that Auchan, and when I got back out of the mall, a bit after 6:50 PM, it looked as if I had just missed some heavier rain which was just ending, quite a crowd gathering to take pictures of a double rainbow.
The rain was about to stop completely and the clouds were clearing as I reached the listed location of the protest, at 7:05 PM. However, most of the others who were already there were across the road at that point, so actually in front of one of the entrances instead of across the road from it, and the organizers were talking to the gendarmes, who at least at that moment agreed to allow the protest to be moved there. And they seemed quite nice and understanding throughout the event, at least to regular participants, limiting themselves to standing at the edges of the area the protesters were in and occasionally reminding some that a path should remain clear on the sidewalk and to not block the entrance that was there, though at one point I heard a gendarme ask one of the organizers to move the protest back to the initial location, then wisely dropping the request when he was told that the protest should soon end without any issues if people would be allowed to stay there, but that won’t be the case if they’ll be required to move. However, I did notice discussions with the organizers, starting quite early on, about the exact moment when they had sent the notification, which discussions continued and eventually led to a fine, which I heard was given pretty much when I left, or at most minutes later, apparently because the notification had been formally submitted a little less than 72 hours before the event. It’s possible that moving the location also had something to do with it, which would make it quite a dirty trick on their part, agreeing to it only to then use it to justify the fine, but I’m not quite sure of that.
About the protest itself, the matter of Rosia Montana again brought together various groups and activists that may otherwise be at odds with each other, including some of the “old guard”, though some notable names were still missing. Some 100 people attended, that number probably being reached around 8 PM or so, and starting to slowly drop maybe 15 or so minutes later. So it wasn’t a big event in any way, but after all this time it was sort of a matter of stretching our legs a little again, and that huge banner, the elephant and the flags brought by the organizers, plus a handful of other banners, ensured that it was visible and the topic was clear… With the exception of one moment when a small group arrived with a large banner asking for the legalization of marijuana, but they were quickly asked to no longer display it after a few other participants complained and they complied. I thought that handing out masks, on top or even instead of the flags, would have been a good idea, and even said so to one of the organizers, and she agreed, but said they hadn’t had time for that. Otherwise, there were some shouts and chants, but it did show that we’re “rusty”. As for pictures, there’s an official album, but I didn’t even take any, sort of just standing around, and after attempting to hand back the flag to the organizer who had given it to me and being told to keep it, I left at 8:25 PM. The numbers were already dropping by then, as I already mentioned, and it seemed that the organizers were getting ready to announce the end, but I don’t know exactly when that happened or whether there were other notable moments, except the fine. In fact, don’t even know how the participants reacted to that fine.
On the way back, I went to the Carrefour from Unirii, getting there at 9:10 PM and just grabbing some bread I don’t recall seeing before. I was in a hurry, so I picked the checkout where I saw a single person with few products before me… And ended up waiting anyway, first because that other customer was asking for bags, and about the various kinds, and then because another cashier came to that one to ask for the code for some bread and that cashier had to look it up on her phone. Still, I was out of there at 9:25 PM, at which point I took the flag out of the backpack, since the pretty long pole meant that it was catching against trees or ads or poles I went under or, occasionally, even simply past, and held it in hand as I jogged back… Only to lose some time at the building entrance, when I pulled out the bag I had the money in, to get the keys out of the pocket, and apparently that bag had ended up being torn at some point, all the coins scattering as a result. But at least I didn’t lose any, and was back at 9:55 PM. Then I had a late lunch, finished a bit after midnight, only went to shower at 1 AM, again having to make do with water that was mostly cold, also had another little annoying talk with dad, obviously got back to the kitchen late again, and started eating dinner at 3:50 AM, unless you count licking some things just before that point, in the kitchen, when moving and mixing them. Went to bed at 5:25 AM.

On July 13, after getting in bed at 5:20 AM, I was first woken up at 11:15 AM by that neighbor drilling again, but could get back to sleep and got up at 2:10 PM. Hadn’t set the alarm, since the plan is to run in the evening during this hot period. So I had the usual stuff plus almonds, the yogurt being a “Greek” one with 5.4% fat, and those wheat things with added jam as the sweet thing, drank all the tea, making more after I got back, put on the full running gear, with a few things in the pocket of my tights, and left just before 7:10 PM, when the reported temperature was about 31°C.
My back was hurting though, something feeling off since the previous week’s run, but that radiated towards the left and seemed to go away after a few days, yet at that point, maybe after jogging with that bread in the backpack, pain like I used to have way back seemed to threaten, also seeming to originate from the area of that bone spur but being different, in that worse way experienced back then, and on the right side, and it was quite bad when I woke up that day. And it was also on that day that I really made a note of the fact that my left eye was somewhat swollen, though I had also noticed it the night before, and had sort of been feeling it since the day at the hospital. Worse, since I thought about it at that point, I realized that there had been other days when my eyes had actually been pretty badly swollen when I got up, which I had just dismissed as an oddity at the time, especially since the swelling went away after a while, but swollen feet and eyes are the obvious symptoms of serious kidney problems, so that fear seems confirmed, and things have only gotten worse since then.
Either way, returning to that day’s run, the time was 1:22:48, with sector times of 4:20, 5:12, 6:06, 4:44, 5:24, 6:20, 4:54, 5:28, 6:22, 4:58, 5:36, 6:34, 4:55, 5:39 and 6:16, making for lap times of 15:38, 16:28, 16:44, 17:08 and 16:50. Had target times for 1:24, just hoping it won’t be my worst time over this distance, and after missing the target of 32 minutes for the first two laps it looked bad, but lap three recovered that difference compared to the target time, and what I guess was a rather beautiful sunset helped after that. I didn’t look at it, but definitely felt the difference in terms of the heat on lap four, and on lap five it was even better, no longer sunny and much cooler. When I saw I could afford 18 minutes on lap five and stay under 1:24 after all, I was finally pretty sure I was safe from that ultimate embarrassment, but since it was cooler I decided to push for 1:23 and at least managed that. It’s an awful time, but considering my form and, more importantly, health, and also the heat for at least the first three laps and the people, I’ll take it. I mean, I was thinking before that run that I’d be happy with 1:22 and content with 1:23.
And yes, there were plenty of people, so on top of weaving and going the long way around, there were times when I had to slow or take to the grass, this also happening on the long straights of what I think were sector one of lap three and sector two of lap four, if not the other way around, and I was on the grass for somewhat longer, also having to go around a bench, after the straights of sector one of what was maybe lap four, though it could have also been lap three. Worse, a few seconds were lost when I had to stop because of a roadblock on sector three of lap four, and maybe there was another brief stop, though I might have just slowed a lot, on that same sector, at that stall where people often gather, since I went behind it on laps three and five but on lap four I tried to stay on the path and couldn’t quite squeeze through right away. There were a few other moments when I might have very briefly stopped because of misunderstandings, and two on sector two of lap five, when I stayed behind a kid on a bicycle, meaning to use him as a road opener, but he was making it worse by stopping right in front of me when approaching a roadblock. I think it was also on sector two of lap five, though I’m not absolutely certain about the lap, when two kids were chasing each other across the path, the boy turned around, the girl turned after him right in front of me, and I ran into her, having to briefly stop as I touched her. Otherwise, except the lack of energy, feeling tired from the start, the back pain was definitely not nice, but after two laps or so I can’t say I felt it anymore until close to the end, and even when it returned at that point it was faint.

Walked to Kaufland after the run, quickly checking the Mega Image next to the farmers’ market on the way, then saw evening discounts in Kaufland and grabbed a few things and the shaving cream I was actually there for. Spent quite some time searching for it though, and didn’t realize it was close to 10 PM when I was at the self-checkout, so I had no problems with the machine, left the store, and just as I stopped to arrange the purchases in my bags I heard the announcement that bakery products were discounted by 75%, so if I’d have waited just a few more minutes the price of what I got would have likely been halved again, and there’d have likely been additional discounts for some other things as well. It was a bit funny when I got to the bakery area though, the employee standing in front of it and announcing the 50% discount out loud, commenting that there were too few customers, and at one point muttering to herself that it’s like she’s selling in a farmers’ market.
I was back just before 10:35 PM, had a late lunch, finishing when it was almost 12:30 AM, then again had to shower with mostly cold water, so I was again back in the kitchen late, started eating dinner at 3:15 AM and got in bed at 5:20 AM. But I’ll also mention here that I started reading Shadowrun Returns Anthology that day, after ending up with it as part of the package given away by GOG.com. Actually read the first bit before going to bed in the morning, then continued before going out to run and then just read a little bit more after I got to my room with the lunch, before starting to eat. And I finished it and wrote the quick review on July 17.

On July 15 I went out just after 7:05 PM, to the Carrefour from the park, finding eggs for my mother and also getting some for us, plus some of the teas dad wanted and an ice cream I grabbed for myself. Actually ate that ice cream on the street on the way back, and was back a bit before 8:30 PM. But more important is that, after noticing my feet swelling again the previous evening and night, then feeling somewhat at ease when it was better when I woke up that day, it definitely got my attention when the swelling worsened again in the evening.
At that point it didn’t seem as bad as it had been, but the next day it was, and I also found myself with time to think about what it meant, ending up panicking, whimpering and pretty much crashing. On the other hand, in part because I wanted to check what influence this had, on July 16 I timed my squats again and did them in 2:00! And I also finally reported the side effects after the second dose of the vaccine that day, also mentioning the swollen feet and the hospital visit, but only as other notes, specifying that the doctors didn’t think the swelling was related to the vaccine. Otherwise, after a rather early lunch, started eating dinner at 3:30 AM and got in bed at 5:20 AM, while the following night I started eating dinner at 3:10 AM, without having had lunch that day.
Returning to July 16 for a moment, I also looked up some of the “main” doctors who had checked me when I went to the hospital, and the following day I contacted the cardiologist to ask if I could go directly to the hospital she wanted to transfer me to… Maybe I should have tried the other one who wrote recommendations, since a cardiologist was obviously going to focus on her field, but she actually replied right away, remembered me and was really nice about it. She urged me to first have the anemia checked out, but again said that little can be done without hospitalization, while I said I’m mainly worried about my kidneys and also reminded her of my anxiety, with more details… Very likely too many, and by then I was also panicking again and didn’t know how to make her stop replying while still being nice about it, since I couldn’t get myself to read any other replies, so the exchange likely became awkward at the end.