Cav's Place

This week’s run was Tuesday, when the alarm was supposed to ring at 2 PM but I decided to get up when I woke up at 1:35 PM. As soon as I got out of my room, dad said we had no gas, so I went straight to the toilet and, surprisingly, didn’t just waste time. In fact, it seems I made good use of the time until the gas came back, since I tried to turn on the stove after that and it worked, so I could make tea, not having to resort to some juice bought by dad in order to drink something before the run. Then I had the usual stuff plus almonds, and part of an apple and Turkish delight pie he brought from his mother as something sweet, and went out at 4 PM, after spending quite a lot of time struggling to fit the bags and the few other things I wanted to take with me into the tights, since I meant to at least go to that Carrefour right after the run. For that reason, also considered taking the regular shoes, but used the full running gear in the end. The reported temperature was about 24-25°C and there was little wind for once, so I only felt a few gusts while running and those didn’t really bother me either. The Sun was playing hide and seek too, meaning it was quite nice much of the time, though I did feel a bit of heat when it was sunny and I wasn’t in the shade.
Before getting to the run, however, I’ll mention that, before leaving, I heard dad talking to his sister on the phone and she was apparently mentioning a sore throat, to which he said it was probably caused by her eating ice cream, so I told him that these days you don’t assume it’s something else, you isolate at the slightest symptom, ask your doctor to be tested and only think of other possible causes if the test is negative. Now, she’s been in Italy for a long time and I have no idea whether she came to visit their mother recently, or even at the same time he went there, but I’ve also been hearing him cough again, which in itself would be normal for him, but at this time is an added reason for concern, so let’s see how this will play out…
Back to the run, the target was 1:18 and I meant to push from the start, and it actually worked out again, finally! The time was 1:17:37, with sector times of 4:22, 4:58, 5:50, 4:26, 5:01, 5:52, 4:27, 4:58, 5:58, 4:34, 5:10, 6:10, 4:38, 5:13 and 6:00, making for lap times of 15:10, 15:19, 15:23, 15:54 and 15:51. That means I wasn’t just 2:15 faster than the previous time I covered this distance, but also matched last week’s first two laps overall, losing a second on the first and recovering it on the second, was 27 seconds faster than then on lap three and still did two more laps after that. Also spent those first three laps trying to pay attention to the markings that appeared on that path some time ago, going all the way to a half marathon distance, noticing that the start had 7 km listed next to it, which would be impossible if the route they were for never left that path, and that the markings for some kilometers seemed to be missing, so I was wondering whether they’re for a route that makes a detour at some point. But as of lap four I couldn’t spare the resources, be they physical or mental, for anything else anymore, and while at the start of the lap I was even thinking of 1:17, it quickly became clear that I had to manage the loss of time from that point on, as I was getting significantly slower and had to really fight for those times I did manage. Was really pushing on lap five, giving it everything I had left on the last sector in particular, probably starting to do that a little early but nevertheless managing a good time under those circumstances, and staying under 16 minutes on each lap, which was the secondary target I had set for myself during lap four.
That spot on the back of my left thigh, above the knee, was hurting a bit from the start and continued to do so all the way to the end, and my right knee gave me some serious warnings from the end of sector two of lap four, what began with some localized pain in one spot seeming to engulf the entire knee on lap five, though the intensity was dropping with time. Other than that, however, I felt better, had more energy, than I had in quite a while, and the park wasn’t crowded either. There were some people, requiring some weaving and going the long way around, but there was perhaps just one roadblock, I believe on sector two of lap four, though there may be a small chance it was actually on sector two of lap five. Either way, I’m not even sure I should really call that an actual roadblock, since there was a tight spot left that I managed to squeeze through, possibly slowing a bit as I did so. Other than that, took to the grass to go around some guys on sector one of lap two, but that meant cutting a turn a bit, then there was the poplar fluff that went right in my nose on sector two of lap two, so I probably lost a bit of time as I kept trying to blow or even pick it out, unsure of what I managed, and then there was a moment on sector one of lap three, under the bridge, when two cyclists were coming from the opposite direction, all three of us being on that cycling lane that supposedly isn’t one, and all three of us cleared it when we saw each other, the two of them on opposite sides, so I ended up facing one of them on the side with the lake and had to slow or maybe even stop for just an instant and make room.

As planned, went to that Carrefour after the run, stopping on a bench to write down the times, not that I needed to, and some quick notes mentioning what I remembered about the problems I had during the run. Didn’t plan to get much, but had taken more money with me since I didn’t have any smaller bills at the time and that proved to be a good thing, since I saw that good price for Liza’s food again, so I got as much as I could, leaving just enough to get a bread which I believe is a new kind and two expiring yogurts for myself, some single-use plastic cups dad unfortunately said he wanted, and some more eggs, since those were also still at that really low price. Wandered around for quite a while as I got those things though, and was only back at 7:25 PM.
Except the bread, which I only took care of shortly before going to bed, I rushed to put things in their place after getting back, then took the recyclables, including those things I take to Kaufland, and was out again at 8 PM. Wanted to go to Kaufland because there was supposed to be a 40% discount on all apples that day, and while I doubted I’d find Romanian ones at a decent price there in general, and finding any left at that hour on that day was unlikely anyway, I wanted to try. Of course, with the stocks usually being lower at the Pantelimon one, it was a bad idea to go there, and didn’t mean to at first, but then I ended up going there after all in order to drop those things off. Didn’t even cut through that mall, going around it instead, even though something in my left hip, probably a tendon or something of the sort, started really hurting on the way there. And, as expected, this entire part of the trip was pointless, as there were absolutely no apples of any kind left, and I didn’t get anything from Kaufland at all. There was one bundle of green onions left, with the evening discount, which actually just took it to what I’d consider to be a normal price, and it actually looked quite good, but I decided against bothering with it and just bought National Geographic from that store that’s also there before leaving, since I couldn’t find it in Kaufland.
The pain was quite a problem when I left, but I nevertheless wanted to check out the Kaufland from Vitan as well, so I went there after that… And actually used a slightly longer route, couldn’t really say why. Considering the hour, I couldn’t take it too slowly either, and was actually wondering whether it closed at 10 PM or later, because if it closed at 10 PM I’d have had very little time to look around, so I tried to protect that hip as much as I could while still pushing through it. Was also wondering whether the fact that I had stuffed the smaller bags in the little key pocket during the run had something to do with that pain, since it likely caused it to press just on that spot, but it’s not like it made any difference at that point, so I tried to use the moments when I was waiting for the light to turn green for some quick stretching exercises, hoping those would help… And ending up feeling quite a crackle as I raised that leg at one point, and then one more time a little later, though that was when I was not careful at all and tried to sprint to catch a green light, without even managing it.
Reached that Kaufland at 9:45 PM and was relieved to see that it closed at 11 PM, so I didn’t need to rush, though the employees seemed quite bothered that customers were still around at that hour, increasingly so as time passed. Still no apples, of course, but I got some more onions, then also a bundle of green ones from the few that were left there, also with the evening discount, though I think that single one left at the Pantelimon one had been better. Also got some more soy, for something I want to make, after spending quite a long time looking for it. Then I used the self-checkout with no issues, walked out at 10:15 PM… And saw an employee opening and checking the cabinets. The one I had placed the magazine in was still closed though, and remained so after I tried opening it, since it sounded as if it was unlocking when I was putting in the code, but nothing was happening. She asked whether it was stuck and, after I said it was, put in what I gather is an override code right in front of me, without asking what I had in there or for any proof that the contents were mine, and also without trying to cover the code as she typed it. The lock remained stuck, however, but then she put in a longer code and that seemed to finally unlock it, so I could grab the magazine and be on my way, being back here at 10:50 PM. Interestingly, I felt less pain on the way back.
After putting the purchases in their place, I took a bath, only starting to make mamaliga after that, which meant I only started actually eating at 2:30 AM, though I had taken something sweet and some watermelon right after putting the water on the stove. After eating, unsuccessfully chased a mosquito in the bathroom before going to bed, then noticed just how much that tendon, if that’s what it was, hurt when I woke up some two hours later, because of dad making noise in the kitchen and apparently Liza jumping on her plate and tipping it over. It was quite hard to get back to sleep because of that pain, and it definitely worried me at the time, even more so since it felt swollen as well. But I eventually did get back to sleep, woke up one more time to pee, then was woken up again around noon and had no chance to get back to sleep, the father of the downstairs neighbor wanting to cut the weeds and seeming to have problems with the trimmer, repeatedly trying to start it and seeming to fail, waking me up again just as I was starting to drift back to sleep. After this repeated a few times, at 12:20 PM I decided to get up, though that hip made it rather hard to actually get out of bed again. Fortunately, by Thursday it seemed quite fine.

After noticing the price listed in RON when I checked, even if that’s not one of the available options and only works if it’s automatically selected after the location is detected or I clear the cookie after selecting something from the list myself, I wondered whether dad could use his card to buy a license for Emsisoft Anti-Malware after all, since I had decided to go through with it, and Wednesday he tried and it worked. However, the first issue is that they now force auto-renewal and their payment processor stores the card data for that purpose, with no way for the customer to disable this when making the purchase even though they told me they can do so at any point after that, so I obviously asked for it to be done and the auto-renewal was canceled right away, but was told to contact the payment processor to delete the card data, which I’m yet to do, in part because I wonder whether a refund, possibly one immediately followed by withdrawing the amount again, may be part of the solution to the issues I noticed immediately after activating this license.
What happened was that I got a new license instead of trying to see what would happen if I renewed the one which had expired over a year ago, and this shows up as managed as part of a workspace on their cloud console or something like that, can’t add it as personal license and don’t even see when it expires or the key locally! In addition, when I activated the license another process started, which may also be the cause of the roughly 1% performance reduction I’ve been noticing in BOINC since then, and I’m seeing a message stating that it keeps trying to connect to the cloud console, but never seems to do it, and shouldn’t, since I immediately set it to local management only after activation. Was told when I asked that it was their CEO’s decision to do it that way for new licenses, though it shouldn’t keep connecting if it’s set to local management only, but when I pressed the first matter I was also told that they can still in fact remove the license from the workspace and add it as a personal one, so the information will show up locally again, and I’m thinking that doing that may make it stop saying it’s remote managed and trying to connect as well.

Otherwise, Wednesday was also another day with no visits recorded in either view, as was yesterday, but Wednesday was also the day when I got to 21 years of being a SETI@home user. Interestingly, things changed to some extent compared to what I was saying last week just in time for that, the site apparently returning on Monday, since I saw some posts from July 13 on the message boards, though I only thought to check on Thursday, after seeing that the maintenance message which had again replaced that “feeder not running” one at some point Tuesday or Wednesday continued to be returned to BOINC, making it clear that it wasn’t some sort of automated change that continued to apply at some point each Tuesday and likely get reversed within 24 hours. The data servers still aren’t back though, and likely won’t return, the server status page having now changed to no longer even list most of them or any statistics, stating that the database server is not accessible. But, while it didn’t happen while the project was still active in any way, at least it means I got to 21 years at a time when it was “properly” in hibernation and not pretty much dead, as it was last week.

Before finishing this, I’ll also mention that lately I’m seeing little brown cockroaches in the bathroom, again seeming to mainly be in the bathtub, as if they’re coming up the drain, which would be odd, so I’m checking the other possibilities. Still, last night a few were on the floor as well, and I stomped on several before finally getting in bed, a little after 5:20 AM, though a couple still escaped. Also, while I’m at potential problems, I’m starting to be quite sure that I’m noticing my mouse‘s T1 button double clicking. Much more pressing, however, is that it seems that a tooth on my upper right side is starting to hurt, and going to the dentist may be quite a problem now, considering not just the costs but also the risks involved when the number of cases is increasing in such a manner over here and hospitals are already overwhelmed. And speaking of risks, dad’s cough seemed worse today, at least in the first part of the day… As for the costs, there’s also the fact that, at least for the next month, and for up to three months if I’ll end up replacing the mouse, I won’t be able to cover anything out of what I have set aside if dad won’t have the amount readily available, because yesterday I went with him to make sure that my deposits had closed and withdraw the money, in order to put them and what I had set aside since making the last one in state bonds for a year, since the option is available this month and I decided to try holding on to this computer for one more year after all, this also being why I decided to purchase that license after all instead of moving on to some other trial. Just used the machines at this branch of the bank, not having anything to do with people, and saw that the available amount was 0.75 RON more than I had calculated, which never hurts.

With two posts already written this week and this needing to be a personal one on a Sunday, even considered not writing a July 12 post this year. That did happen once before, in 2015, but it feels like a sacrilege and that fact still weighs on me, even more so since it was a milestone, the tenth July 12 I spent alone. And this is the 15th, so I definitely couldn’t do it again, and I also won’t do what I ended up doing in 2018 and 2019, when the July 12 posts ended up being about running. That definitely felt wrong as well, but those excellent runs from back then worked to some extent as an excuse, while now I’m struggling, unable to even get back to what used to be regular, “safe” times, and have no new runs to mention anyway.
Still, I’ll say that, while my leg muscles definitely feel like something’s wrong, which at this point, in order to avoid more troubling possibilities, I’m thinking might be a lack of magnesium and/or potassium, they seem to be working well enough for squats, since I timed them again today and somehow managed 2:06, matching the record! Now that I checked that post again, I also noticed that I had written November each time I should have written December, in the paragraph about the squats and in another one as well, and somehow missed it so far, so I corrected that, but to get back to the squats, this time I actually saw 1:01 at 50 and again was tiring at 70, losing speed, was quite exhausted by 85, but I just kept pushing, saw 2:01 at 95 and that same 2:06 at the end. Makes me think that I should start timing them regularly again, and aim for an actual new record, but who knows if gaining even one more second is actually possible, and it’s not what this post should be about anyway.

Back on topic, I did recently send her another e-mail, which obviously got lost in the void, and the situation over there adds to my usual fears and concerns, so it’s not like I’m thinking about her any less, which is what the lack of such a post might indicate, but in fact quite the contrary for quite some time now, for this reason and also, I believe, as a consequence of finding Elena P.. Not that there’s anything good about that, of course, or that there was any moment back then when I was in contact with both of them, but there are some mental links, to that general period but also some more direct ones, and the pretty obvious fact that I doubt anything’d have happened with Andra without things going the way they did with Elena P. first.
It’s actually something I’ve kept thinking about over the years, and I’m not sure I’d have even agreed to meet Andra and go on that trip together without spending that time with Elena P. the way we did, and thinking that maybe I had lost the person I at the time thought had been the best friend I ever had, and possibly could ever have, because we didn’t end up being more than friends, and possibly even specifically because I backed out of what would have easily been a kiss, quite clearly had a lot to do with not backing away again, and in fact directly going for it, the instant that situation seemed to present itself again, with Andra, and smoothly moving from friends to more than that pretty much the very next moment.
Not that the outcome was different in the end, but in between there were over three years with plenty of good moments, including the only ones when I thought this life might just be worth living after all, and the future might just be something I could even look forward to, at least on a personal level, instead of this bleak, hopeless, terrifying source of constant anxiety, depression and even actual horror. It became even worse after that, of course, and so did the present, and all these nearly 15 years that passed since she left, but at the same time the fact that those three years and the good moments in them did exist is the only fuel I have for this whisper of a shred of hope left that maybe I’ll have that again someday. An entirely false hope, of course, only created and maintained even at this purely theoretical level by my mind because I’m still around and must hang on to something, possibly at times hiding to some extent the fact that the only reason why I’m still here is that I was, and still am, too much of a coward… And that the end, however it would come, without something happening first that’d make both all the suffering and the use of resources be worth it, is a too disappointing prospect, to put it mildly, and getting ever more so the more time that passes.

But there’s nothing new there, so I guess I’ll add one more thing on another topic here, before finishing this post, since that actually is new. I’m referring to the fact that I finished Lionheart this evening. Was close to the end last night and just pushed through this evening, making sure I kept everyone alive, the Lightning WarGolem tending to die until I figured out just how to prevent my companions from putting themselves too much in harm’s way too soon. Since the experience received right there at the end got me to level 52, I also used the Here and Now feat to get to 53, therefore getting the benefits of another level for free, since I got another feat then. Now I’m left with a huge pile of notes taken while playing it, 920 words that are just one messy paragraph, and wondering when or even if I’ll write a proper review for it, since it has exactly three on MobyGames and I keep saying I mean to try to write one for any game I finish that has less than three and won’t bother for those that have more, but will decide on a case by case basis when there are exactly three.

Later edit: Oh, seems like there’s one more thing to add about this July 12, and that’s that there were no visits recorded again.

The server status page hadn’t updated since June 16, 14:50:03 UTC, and BOINC‘s scheduler requests had only resulted in messages that the project was temporarily shut down for maintenance, so in case anyone still had work units and wasn’t just holding on to them, they couldn’t report them either. But at least the message boards still worked, the whole site usually only reporting that it was down for maintenance at the usual time, on Tuesdays. However, this week that changed, and now it seems that SETI@home truly did shut down for good, without even an announcement stating that it was going to happen, since it’s Friday and it’s yet to return from this week’s maintenance outage, and I just noticed yesterday that the response received by BOINC had changed as of Monday evening. Had last attempted a connection and received the maintenance response at 1:34:14 PM UTC on Monday, July 6, and then connected again at 11:43:39 PM UTC and the response was “Server error: feeder not running”.
The last work unit I had listed had one last user who hadn’t reported a result when the lists stopped being updated, the deadline being June 25, but there were others saying they had some left that had users with deadlines even in the second half of July, and I believe someone digging through lists found something only expiring in August as well, though I’m not sure of that anymore. And there were also some saying that a few of the most active hosts were still returning some results, after likely using tricks to hoard huge numbers. But, while the questions remained unanswered and this was therefore never confirmed, it was almost certain that all work units had already been validated, these results only serving to allow those users to gather more credit before the end, and also keep a higher recent average credit, and some were suggesting that this permanent “maintenance” reported to BOINC even though the site worked was just a way to “punish” them for trying this, albeit while also hurting those who still actually had computers working on the remaining work units. But with that work being unnecessary, nobody being able to find any work unit that wasn’t already validated among what those hosts still had in progress, and some demanding all along to have those remaining tasks canceled, there were few complaints, people just hoping that the message boards will remain operational. And the original announcement clearly stated that the site and message boards will continue to operate, so there seemed to be little reason for concern… Yet, on top of it being a rotten move to shut it down completely in this manner, without saying so or even answering those asking what’s happening, at the moment it doesn’t seem like the project managers are keeping their word even when it comes to the message boards.

On a personal level, this also means that I’ll only get to 21 years in the project in the sense that I’ll keep BOINC attached to it, but since that day will come on July 15, it’ll be just about a month after the project stopped allowing any sort of computing activity and, unless the situation changes again by then, over a week after it was taken down for good, even the message boards and much of the site going away. But, of course, I will consider myself as having stayed with the project for the full 21 years even in that case, and will keep BOINC attached to it and leave it with the highest resource share indefinitely, just in case it’ll ever come back to life… And for old times’ sake even if it won’t.

After my parents left Thursday evening, I managed to nap for about an hour, and then when I went out of the kitchen while making the salad later I saw another one of those large black cockroaches, this time right there, among the shoes, and it didn’t escape. Otherwise, Liza doesn’t seem to be hissing at Micky anymore, after that first day of having her back here, but it’s quite messed up to see all the places my parents put water and food for them in, and of course Micky still doesn’t really get to eat unless Liza is kept away, since otherwise she’ll rush to her and chase her away as soon as she hears her starting to eat, no matter where she is. And with Micky basically just licking her food a little at a time, then searching for it again some time later, and Liza clearing anything she finds in seconds, the only way for Micky to get to eat any significant amount is if someone keeps an eye on her and gives her food just when she wants some, keeping Liza away, then hides it away again.

Wasn’t sure what I meant to do when I went to bed Friday morning, having to go out for bread and preferring to go early, but at the same time really needing to sleep, so I spent some time thinking about it when I first woke up, but then checked the time, saw 8:59 AM and decided to get up, leaving at 9:45 AM. Should have taken the recyclables as well, but completely forgot, though at least I didn’t forget to take a backpack, to be able to keep something off my hands if I’ll again find discounted cat litter.
Knowing that I had found those unannounced discounts at that other Carrefour last time, I went there, also thinking that if I’ll again find that kind of bread at half price, there may be a chance to find some of it unsliced as well, in which case I wouldn’t have to go to Kaufland anymore. Another purpose of the trip was to get an oven thermometer, but the store selling the one I had found on-line has locations in both of these malls, so that didn’t influence the decision to go that way. It was weird that, after having a look through a bookstore that’s on the same floor, I looked all over that store, being there alone with the two employees for several minutes, correctly identified the area where that thermometer should be, but somehow missed it, so I eventually had to ask for it and the employee just picked one up and handed it to me.
With it in my pocket, went in Carrefour and saw that cat litter was indeed still at that discounted price, but that bread was at the full price, so I had to go to Kaufland too after all. But I could get the cat litter later, and that also went for the cabbage, the discount I had seen for that being my main reason for being there but plenty of it looking good enough to not feel a need to grab one right away. However, I didn’t leave without purchases, since I also found a few more of those very cheap eggs. I think there were seven or eight left, but only three were still intact, albeit rather dirty because of the others, so I grabbed those three and the cloves I also wanted, then left them and the thermometer in a cabinet.
I was still undecided which Kaufland to go to when I walked out of that mall, but eventually headed towards that newer one again, to finally pass by that recycling center during working hours, confirming that it is indeed open. The reward for cans or plastic bottles still isn’t listed there though, and when I passed by another one, which I believe is operated by the same company, on my way back from this summer’s Dream Trek, I saw an amount that was 25% lower for cans and PET painted over on the list, making me think that they weren’t even accepting plastic bottles anymore. But I saw piles of them there, so they are still accepting them, though I have no idea if they still offer anything in exchange and wasn’t about to go in to ask.
In Kaufland, I meant to just get the bread I wanted, if it’d still be available, and leave, and things looked good when I saw that there were six left, so this time around I took a glove right away and grabbed four. Took a single large paper bag for them, however, and while they fit just fine, the corner of one of them tore it, which tends to be a risk with this bread, considering the shape and the hard crust, so I took a second bag and struggled for quite some time to get the first one inside it, as it somehow didn’t seem to fit at all and this second bag was just tearing along one side. But by the time I managed to at least get it to cover that torn corner, I had also noticed the pile of bread that was discounted because it expired the following day which was in that area, so I spent quite some time looking at that and checking most of them individually, even though all but two were of the same kind. All of it sliced and white, so obviously not for myself, but I eventually got one of each for dad… And then, on my way to the self-checkout, saw onions for an even lower price than at Carrefour, so I calculated what I could still fit in what I had taken before leaving and grabbed a few of those as well. That caused a little confusion, since it was apparently one of those discounts that’s applied at the end, so when I saw the price drop I didn’t immediately realize that it dropped to what it should have been in the first place, making me put everything in a cabinet, meaning to get back in and buy some more, thinking there had been an additional discount and I could fit a few more in what I had. But I then actually calculated again, realized what had happened, took everything back out of that cabinet and left…
I’m not sure how or why do I keep walking into spiderwebs, but soon after leaving Kaufland it happened again. I was just walking on the sidewalk, moments before a guy coming from the opposite direction would have passed through the same spot, and I suddenly found myself with a strand pretty much on my eyes, and this time I just tried to not actually touch my eyes or the mask, but did touch my face, head and ears, trying to get rid of as much of it as I could and again wondering whether the spider was on me as well. Felt something on my arm just as I was getting back to Carrefour and when I looked I saw something, but at first glance it looked more like an ant, though the legs seemed to get too far from its body and I didn’t count them, just quickly shaking it away.
Had already realized by then that I was going to have another problem, however, since I was going to need all the money I still had to even be able to get a rather small cabbage on top of the two bags of cat litter, and that Carrefour still requires a 0.50 RON coin to lock a cabinet, and on top of what I already had in there, I had to add my purchases from Kaufland too. Looked around for a bit, but all I could find was a 0.05 RON coin, so I simply stuffed everything in the cabinet, being careful to put the eggs on top and arrange things so they won’t press against the cabinet door and open it, and left it unlocked, visibly so, since you can’t remove the key without a coin, hoping nobody’ll take my things as I rushed inside and grabbed what I wanted… Which I couldn’t do as quickly as I hoped, since being in such a hurry made me miscalculate how much I still had left for cabbage, thinking I could get two smaller ones after all, trying to find good enough ones of the right size and eventually tricking the scales to reduce the weight by about 70 grams in order to make them fit in what I thought I had… Only to realize as I was standing in line that I couldn’t afford that after all, running back, just weighing the slightly larger cabbage again, leaving the other one and finally checking out.
Breathed a sigh of relief when I found everything still in that cabinet, then spent quite some time first struggling to stuff one of the bags of cat litter in the backpack, adding the onions on top of it as well, then arranging the other things in bags and trying to carefully remove the labels off the bag I had used for the cabbages, when I thought I could get two, the label I had placed on the remaining cabbage also ending up stuck to the inside of that bag. It was 1:30 PM when I was finally relatively content and walked away, but stopped again to use some disinfectant before leaving that mall, that dispenser working that time. Arranged things a little more then as well, and when I checked the time after taking a few steps outside I saw it was already 1:37 PM… And I still wasn’t exactly content with how things were arranged, so I stopped a few more times, at first thinking I could turn the bag I had around my neck around in order to have it on my back as well, then realizing it was choking me and getting it back to its normal position, then worrying about the eggs. The last time I stopped was just after getting back in the park after crossing the road, when I took the bag with those eggs out and held it separately and in front of the other bags, which seemed the safest way to hold it. Didn’t actually weigh what I carried that time, but it should have added up to about 18 kg, probably up to 19 kg if you add everything in my pockets and the bags and backpack.
It was 2 PM when I got here, so despite leaving that early because I hoped to avoid the worst of the heat, that was exactly when I ended up being outside. And, even though dad had left by then, it was only 4:35 PM when I got on-line. In between, also ended up losing a little 0.01 RON coin in the sink, that drain allowing such a little one to slip around it. After showering, pulled that thing up and saw it still there, but couldn’t pull it all the way back up using a stick and then a finger, and after it slipped back down several times it eventually fell down the drain, so now it’s probably stuck a bit farther down, where it bends, and will likely remain there. But maybe it was one of the four found in the self-checkout machine at Kaufland, and in total, adding the 0.10 RON one that was on the floor when I first checked out at Carrefour and that one found after I got back there, I had found a total of 0.19 RON that day, some of it actually ending up being needed, since I had a mere 0.12 RON left. Otherwise, did nap a little that evening, but late and probably for less than one hour… And then found a long hair in that cheese bought after the embarrassingly slow run, quite obviously having been there since I bought it, which was quite gross and concerning. And, speaking of concerning, my right eye has been bothering me a little since then, watering occasionally.

Was getting even more concerned when I was about to go to bed Sunday morning, since something seemed odd with my throat as well, and the feeling was still there after I woke up. But what I had eaten that night might have caused that, and it eventually went away, though Monday night there was an occasional rather sharp pain in one spot in my throat, I think where I thought something swallowed a few days before had scratched me on the way down, that spot possibly also being around one of those lumps I have there. To return to Sunday, there were no visits recorded that day, and I finished one of those sudoku magazines bought by dad, since it was so laughably easy… With the exception of one puzzle which actually had a typo, so it was impossible to solve normally… And then, before going to bed that night, or Monday morning if you prefer, I sent Andra another e-mail, just asking her to take care. It probably got lost in the void, of course, and I did consider using Goodreads again, but there was no point in risking that one more time if the result was the same and she doesn’t seem to be actively using it anymore anyway.

Tuesday I timed the squats again, doing them in 2:10 despite being in the kitchen, towards the end of almost four hours spent standing there, cooking, and not even preparing the moment at all, having a look and seeing that the time was just about to get to 87:00 in the match that was on at the time, so it was my very last chance to use it for this. Then I actually did a second series at night, after eating, though slower and obviously without timing, to count for the next day… And then I redeemed and downloaded Hero-U: Rogue to Redemption, after asking for it just before midnight and having it granted just after midnight, so actually on July 8, again from The Community Giveaway on the GOG.com forums, the game yet again being donated by the same person I already received so many others from. He didn’t make his own giveaway again now, instead donating a huge list to The Community Giveaway, which was put up in three batches, and I happened to be able to check soon enough after this last and largest one was posted to still see this there, so I went for it, despite obviously feeling even more indebted and embarrassed as a result.

With a high around 24-25°C, no risk of rain and, according to the forecast, not much wind either, yesterday was clearly the day to run, and while the alarm was set to ring at 2:30 PM, to be safe, I woke up for the last time around 1:05 PM and after a few minutes decided to slowly get up. Had the usual stuff plus almonds, and those wheat things with jam as something sweet, since I had some again, but just wasted time on the toilet the first time. Tried again a bit later though, since I was in no hurry, and that time it worked. Went out at 3:40 PM, wearing the full running gear… And quickly realized that, since it was mostly sunny, it still felt hot outside, despite that much lower reported temperature.
That was another reason why I decided to push from the beginning, knowing that heat will make it even harder to maintain a pace, but I meant to do so anyway, since one of the less concerning reasons I can think of for the current loss of performance is that, while parks were closed, I got used to not push harder when I can, leaving too much for later, when I’m no longer able to push anyway. It still didn’t work, I still didn’t get back under 48 minutes, but at least it wasn’t an even more embarrassing result. Was thinking to continue to 16 km if it’d be clear I won’t even stay under 48:30, and even more so if I’d be in danger of even going over 49 minutes, assuming I’d realize it before completely exhausting myself trying to avoid it, but the time was 48:16.53, with sector times of 4:18.87, 4:59.09, 5:52 (5:51.99), 4:26 (4:25.29), 5:00 (4:59.96), 5:54.06, 4:32 (4:31.89), 5:12.13, 6:06 (6:05.84) and 1:57.41, making for lap times of 15:09.95, 15:20 (15:19.31) and 15:50 (15:49.86). So I managed a good first lap, in fact the second fastest overall since I could get back to the park, after lap two when I could first run there again, when I covered 16 km. And then lap two was just on the pace which would normally be needed to stay under 48 minutes. But that took a toll, and lap three was the second slowest out of all the laps covered when I ran ten kilometers since I could get back to the park, and this time I didn’t have the crowded park as an excuse. Worse, the final sector was the slowest one in just over one year, since that same run done under very hot conditions that’s the last one over 48 minutes until I got back to the park now.
In terms of problems, the park wasn’t crowded, so there was some weaving and going the long way around, but I wouldn’t say that even the few larger groups that acted like they owned the path really caused me to lose time, even if I had to search for a way through as I approached them and even go around them on the grass a few times. There were also occasional clouds, but when it was sunny and I wasn’t in the shade, it did feel hotter than I expected it to feel before leaving, though I already mentioned that I knew that to be the case before I even got to the park. And there were some gusts in some areas as well, but probably the one that was a real problem was right at the end, on that last, and sunny, part of the final straight, when the wind suddenly picked up so much I felt I could hardly move against it. Otherwise, there was a bit of pain at the back of my left thigh, just above the knee, from the beginning, lessening slowly, only really going away around the time I slowed down, and there were also a few warnings from my right knee on lap two. But the main issue was just that I couldn’t maintain that pace on lap three, feeling from sector one that I was just drained, and possibly like I wasn’t getting quite enough oxygen.
What’s somewhat more frustrating is that the time on sector one of lap three would have still given me a chance to stay under 48 minutes. But that’d have required gaining a total of a little over a second compared to what used to be my “safe” targets over this distance, the times I was sure to manage if there were no serious problems, from then on, and instead I lost almost 15 and a half. Did once again find myself thinking, after I got back, that I could have pushed harder, that maybe I had lost focus and “forgot” to really use all the energy I had left towards the end, especially after seeing that time on sector two of lap three and realizing I had no chance to stay under 48 minutes anymore, but it sure didn’t feel like there was anything more I could have done at the time. Then again, I didn’t feel that exhausted even on the way back, and by the time I got back here I was quite fine, so maybe there was something left after all, and what I forgot during that period when I couldn’t run through the park anymore was just how to tap into those reserves.

I’ll add here that my body decided to wake me by cleaning some plumbing again this morning, and did it at a particularly inopportune time, between dad getting back and him going to bed, so I had to wait and eventually put on my shorts to go to the bathroom to pee and clean up a bit more. But later it woke me again much more unpleasantly, with a cramp in my right calf, which calf hurts and feels particularly tense even now. The left one bothers me a bit as well, and I think I just managed to avoid a cramp there when I stretched after waking up again, but that’s less of an issue. But something like this after only ten kilometers, and with such a poor time as well, only serves to confirm yet again that something’s definitely not right…

Recently, I finally created a section on the site for the list of bands and artists, so it won’t just be a pretty much hidden page anymore, but I haven’t done anything else with it. Worse, haven’t been checking that Power of Female Fronted Metal group for the past six months, the situation with my Internet access being what it is and going through potential new finds and possibly adding them to the list taking quite a lot of time, so I have a single new find during this entire period, as a result of an ad on YouTube that I actually listened to and found interesting. Still, even if mainly to avoid a fifth personal post in a row, I want to add another post to this series now. It’ll be another short one, with just three entries, and at the time I’m starting to write it I don’t even have any idea what the third will be, while the second will be anything but a new find, for me or, most probably, nearly everyone else with any interest in the genre. But I’ve been meaning to add it to such a post for a while, ever since I found out, several months after the fact, that they released a new album, and I’ve done this before, with Xandria, for the same reason.

That sole actual new find during this entire period is Moran Magal, so a singer-songwriter, but there are of course other people involved, to play the instruments used, with the exception of piano and keyboards. Something of a mixed bag overall, I’d say switching between a few different genres as well, some of which I’m not exactly fond of, but enjoyed some of the songs a fair bit. That obviously includes the song that made me discover her, Always Something, from her most recent album, which also seems to be her only full, proper one so far, so I’ll go with that as my first pick. As for the second, I listened to her first EP too, and I’ll go with Feel Again. But you can listen to pretty much everything yourself if you’re interested.

Next, the band too well-known to even put on the list would be Visions of Atlantis. I’ve known them for well over a decade, possibly closer to 15 years, but found myself quite impressed with the album they released last year, after only learning about it relatively recently. My expectations had definitely increased after their previous album, and for this reason I wouldn’t say I was completely blown away by this one, and there are a few weaker songs as well, but it is nevertheless quite impressive. It’s not easy to pick one song from it, so I’ll just pick out of the few they also have videos for, going with Nothing Lasts Forever for the moment. I’ll go way back for the second pick though, maybe as a way to show how they evolved since then. Not that this is easy, as there are a few others I’d have wanted to add here as well, earlier ones showing even more of an evolution, but I’ll stick to my usual rule and go with Seven Seas, since I remember how stuck I was on this for quite a long time back then, and I’m sure that this was the exact link I excitedly sent a few people at the time.

As for the third entry in this post, since I started with a singer, not a band, I’ll end with one as well, and that’s Eurielle. She’s also clearly quite well-known by now, but perhaps to a somewhat different crowd, and maybe it’s not exactly what you’d expect to see in such a post. Then again, in other ways, perhaps it is. Either way, a lovely voice and songs that just carry you away with them. Again, it’d be hard to pick if I’d go through everything, so I’m again making it much easier for myself and sticking just to those she has proper videos for, and I’ll exclude the collaborations as well, which leaves me with As the Skies Cascade as a clear pick out of the recent releases. As for something older, that’s harder, and I may well choose another if you’d ask me again, but at the moment I’ll go with Hate Me. But do listen to more yourself, maybe with your eyes closed and, I’ll say it again, allowing yourself to be carried away, maybe in a soothing daydream. Highly recommended, perhaps even more so in times like these.