Cav's Place

Refreshing willingness, even desire, to challenge and disturb, and nice writing style. Great start, and excellent point about sapiens having always been walking doomsday devices for the other species. Continues just as well, listing mistakes made through time, population growth negating any gains and creating more problems, loss in quality of life for most, the dreadful life of most domesticated animals, imagined order and all its traps and trappings… Good point about sapiens ending up ruled by what they mean to control or even create to aid themselves, and also about imagined order being used to justify power, privilege and the subjugation of others. Baffled by cognitive dissonance being seen as “a vital asset” instead of a flaw though, and the bits about retreating nationalism and safeguarding human rights and the interests of the entire species sure don’t match current events, and neither does that supposedly probable green global empire.
Many good points about religions, best perhaps being that if one omnipotent God exists, He must be evil. Also well said that the Scientific Revolution was actually one of ignorance, being triggered by the admission of ignorance. Then, the chapters on imperialism and capitalism and the second half of the Industrial Revolution one provoke shudders and ought to do worse, the benefits being no excuse for the litany of evils. And, while we can’t go back, the author‘s wrong to say we can’t do without capitalism. We must find a way past, go forward, immediately.
The following chapter, about social order on all levels, does generally point out good developments, albeit still far from what should be. But then, after a pretty annoying chapter about happiness which rather misses the point and doesn’t quite fit, comes the truly terrifying final one, for reasons that are to some extent spelled out in the book‘s afterword, and which are also those why I won’t be reading Homo Deus: Our power grows exponentially but our wisdom, our capacity to use it right, does not, and any plausible future created by “irresponsible gods who don’t know what they want” can be nothing but horrifying.

Rating: 4/5

Was saying I’ll try to go to bed early Friday evening, meaning to do so around 11 PM, but it was almost 11:10 PM when I finished shaving and brushing my teeth and set the alarm and I still meant to read a bit, so it was just after midnight when I actually got in bed. That didn’t mean much though, since it was likely around 1 AM when I was either about to fall asleep or, at best, had just managed to sleep for a moment, and suddenly woke up with a start, my body likely wondering why am I sleeping when I should go eat. Checked the time, saw that it was 1:08 AM, got back to bed, tossed and turned, and worried about noises I heard, or thought I heard, from the computer, saw 2:03 AM when I next checked the time, decided to read another chapter and see whether that helped, since on the previous days reading in bed made me very sleepy, but still nothing at 2:25 AM, when I was done. Tossed and turned some more, saw 3:26 AM when I checked the time yet again and decided to go take a crap and move the alarm from 5 AM to 5:30 AM, saw 3:51 AM when I got back, still tossed and turned, but it may have been just before 5 AM when I finally managed to fall asleep, making those 30 minutes the difference between at least getting some sleep and none at all.

With the toilet matter out of the way, getting up at 5:30 AM was just fine and I was actually almost ready when dad came, an hour later. He had said he’ll come at 6:45 AM and my idea was to just get the metro card from him and go right out, but he said he’ll drive me to the metro station, so at 6:45 AM we were already leaving and I was at the station at 6:56 AM, though he drove rather slowly and I felt very unsafe, since it had snowed and the windshield was frozen and he could barely see through a small area at the bottom.
I was at the meeting place at 7:15 AM, but needed to pee again and knew there was a toilet on the other side of that road, in the park, so went past the parking lot to go there first… Only to find that toilet out of order. There was another one, not automated, next to it, but that might have been for bus drivers or something, since I saw many buses stop there, and I couldn’t open it. Knew there was another automated toilet in that park though, so kept going to look for it, but wasn’t sure which way it was and didn’t dare to ask a guard, so I just went deep enough in an area with thick trees and bushes and did my business there, and I don’t even think anybody passed by during that time. As for the automated toilets, saw somebody do something to the broken one while I was in the bus, but seemed still broken when we went past it, so he had probably just managed to close the door. Also spotted the other one as the bus finally drove away, and I don’t think it was farther away than I ended up walking, but it was in another direction.
Was back to the meeting place at 7:25 AM and took a seat in a bus, and it was a good thing that the guy who sat next to me never said a word after asking whether the seat was free. The problem, on the other hand, was that many didn’t come and the organizers waited for half an hour longer, the buses only leaving at 8:01 AM, so I could have easily slept half an hour longer if I’d have known. Only two buses left even so, and not even those completely full, since they said 86 or 89, can’t remember exactly, came, out of the 150 who had signed up. So the conditions were bad, with the cold and the wind and the hard ground in plenty of places, we had way fewer people than expected, and we were running late as well.

We got there at 9:28 AM and I had to go to the toilet again, seeing that there were just two, so there were quite some queues, and my two pairs of pants, undershirt and t-shirt, both tucked into my underwear, two shirts, sweater and jacket didn’t make it easy to do the business quickly, so I got out as quickly as I could and arranged my clothes better outside. Then I got a cup of hot tea and the sandwich that was the breakfast, freezing as I ate it, and during that time I also saw something that was rather rotten, by which I mean that some of the poor locals who were supposed to help came to ask for some food too and they were told that all of us volunteers will have to be served first and then they’ll see what will be left for them. While still quite questionable, that might have been understandable if everyone would have showed up, but when more than 40% didn’t come, they should have had way more food than needed for us and it shouldn’t have been a problem to serve those locals too right away. And since they didn’t, I was hardly surprised to see one of the organizers berating the locals later, saying that every single one of the trees they supposedly planted could easily be pulled out. Not that there’s any guarantee they’d have done better work otherwise, but that attitude definitely didn’t help them want to do anything.
Either way, the next order of business was to form teams, after getting the usual instructions, and since I expected to have teams of three again and I worked well when I ended up teamed up with a couple, I was looking for couples I could join, and had in fact noticed one of the girls I had been on the same team with last month at the Botanical Garden, who was now with a guy, and was thinking to stay around them and try to work up the courage to ask to join them when the time would come, though at that moment I only managed to ask whether I knew her from the Botanical Garden and walk away after she said yes. Also only noticed then that she had sat right in front of me on the bus. But it didn’t matter anyway, since due to the low numbers we were told to make teams of two, so all couples were already a team and I had to quickly switch to looking for a guy who was clearly stronger than me, because if I was going to be expected to dig we won’t be getting far at all.
Well, I was very lucky in that sense, and quite by accident, since when we were told that 20 people should go to each area, since there should be just about 100 after adding some of the organizers and those poor locals, people didn’t sit and count, just heading off in groups, and I joined the third one, then lost enough time looking around for others to take all the spades, since there were ten spades for each area. That meant I wasn’t going to be the main digger, but still left me without a teammate… Until I just looked next to me and found that I was standing next to a large guy whose face I actually knew from protests, though that was all I knew about him. And since both of us were just standing there at the top of the area while just about all the others were heading down, even though we had been told to split more or less equally, some starting from the top and others from the bottom, and he had a spade and I didn’t, we pretty much ended up forming a team without either of us asking, or even introducing ourselves for that matter. I mean, I still don’t know his name even now.

Since he had the tool and was also much bigger, he dug everything, and also obviously tried to break that hard soil, plus that much of the time he held the sapling too, and also helped press the soil, especially the last layer. So I was just getting the saplings, taking the markers to a bucket when he gathered several in his pocket, putting the saplings in the hole, breaking some of the softer ground a bit with my hands, pulling it into the hole and pressing the first layer and usually the second, though at times he helped with that too, and just trying to do my share with the third as well but often finding his foot in there before I could get up and press myself. Though it was, oddly enough, caught in a picture from the “official” album, my only attempt to dig was when he went to the toilet, when I barely managed to get through the softer top layer before he got back, having no chance to make much of a dent in the hard ground underneath.
There was a moment when he said that the ground won’t give even with his 110 kg pressing on the spade, at which point I said that my 50 would definitely have no chance in that case, but despite struggling he managed to get through that hard ground unbelievably well, and after that first line of markers that we had picked it was much better, the ground being significantly softer even when we just moved to the next line, and then mostly better, with some exceptions, when we went to the next areas too, the problems there being mainly roots and the fact that some markers were placed in something of a ditch, or in one case above a pipe. We could have switched areas earlier, since the organizers were trying to even out the groups and came quite early to ask for two volunteers to move from our area to another, but he asked me whether I wanted to move, I said he was the one digging so he gets to decide, and that meant we were too late, since others volunteered in that time and we continued there until that area was finished.
We were told to take a break, get some hot tea or coffee, before switching areas, so we did that, then continued the work, hearing the organizers say at some point that lunch was moved from 1 PM to 2 PM and it will be hard to get back to work after that, so that may be the end of the day, which actually proved to be the case. My teammate was obviously getting increasingly tired during that last hour too, but he kept at it, and I also kept doing what little I was doing, though my left knee was hurting more and more too, the pain again being that deeper, duller one, making it hard to even press the ground with it. Then again, it had started hurting even in bed that night, as I was tossing and turning, which is definitely a bad development, reminding me of how it was before I started taking those pills, which I haven’t been taking anymore for the past month. Nothing like it was just yet, but it may be getting there eventually if I don’t do something about it.
Another thing I think happened after we moved to another area is that I made a fool of myself when two women asked me to take a picture of them. It is possible that it happened while we were still in the first area too, but, either way, one handed me her phone and I immediately pressed something that switched to the front camera, so had to give it back to her to switch back, then couldn’t figure out how to take the picture, I guess because I was just tapping the spot instead of holding for a bit, then kept tapping different things, assuming the obvious spot was somehow wrong, and then trying to figure out how to get back until they got bored, saying they’re not models, and I gave the phone back mumbling that I didn’t know what I did or whether I did anything at all. And, of course, I hadn’t taken a picture at all, so she handed it back to me, pointing out where I should press with some frustration, and I said that was what I tried, but eventually managed to get it done that second time and was just relieved to get it over with. Did I mention I can’t stand touchscreens, and smartphones for that matter? But, while I’m at it, I guess I’ll also mention here that I took just a few pictures too. Poor quality, since I just had my phone and that’s all it can do, but at least I can use it properly… And it has a battery that can last for weeks and it should in itself last longer than most smartphones, or at least so I hope.

When we stopped for lunch, I was rather like a little dog following that guy, and after washing my hands with the water from that drum that was there, which was obviously freezing, my hands became almost completely useless, and with the gloves in a jacket pocket, I didn’t even want to put them in my pockets, since I’d just get at least one dirty again. Tried to put them up my sleeves and sit like that for a bit after my teammate said we should at least occupy seats at a table until we can get the food, but that didn’t help much and I was still just wondering what to do when, I guess seeing that I was just sitting there and not even saying anything, he even offered to grab food for both of us, which prompted me to get up and go with him, reminding him that they won’t give more than one serving per person anyway. Do find it unfortunate, to put it mildly, that so much plastic was used for such an environmental action, including stuff that’s not even recyclable, like all the wrap the breakfast sandwich was in or the foam the thing the main course was in was made of.
Either way, after accidentally grabbing more of those little bags with plastic knife and fork and a napkin, dropping one back and noticing when I got back to the table that I was still left with two, I had the real problem of opening the things. Did manage to open the thing the main course was in and then also somehow, after struggling with it for a while, managed to tear that little bag open, muttering that it sure is nasty when your hands are too frozen to be of use, but I just couldn’t manage to open the thing the salad was in. Had tried to do that before getting to the others and failed, then tried again after the rest and still couldn’t do it, so my teammate offered to help with that too and even though I was just getting ever more embarrassed I had to accept… And then started struggling to actually eat, cutting the meat from that chicken leg proving very difficult as well under those circumstances. Fortunately it was very tender, but that just meant I could get some of it off and I was pretty much just starting when my teammate finished, so he went to get hot tea for both of us, handing me the cup and telling me to hold it in my hands if I wanted to have any chance, so I tried to do that for a bit, holding it in one hand and using the other to awkwardly eat what I could… Until I just grabbed the bones and scraped off what I could, then cleaned them directly with my teeth, at least getting some benefit from the fact that I had washed my hands. At least it’s a good thing the dessert was easy to eat…

After lunch, we were gathering closer to the tents, for some shelter from the wind and at least a bit of warmth, and wondering what we were going to do, since we were all freezing. They did advise wearing a thick jacket and gloves, and a few did have their own gloves to wear when they weren’t wearing those given there, or even tried putting those over their own, but I thought my thick jacket would be too much and get in the way and just had my own gardening gloves with me, in case what they’d give would seem to offer too little protection, but since those seemed fine I didn’t wear mine, and those aren’t for warmth anyway, some even saying that they felt colder after putting on the gloves we were given than without them. Still, was wearing all those things I mentioned above, plus two pairs of socks, one of them thick, and my boots, and my woolen cap and the promotional cap volunteers could grab from there, both of them under my jacket’s hood. In spite of all of that, I was definitely cold. Did also have my hoodie in my backpack, but didn’t take it out, and at that point doing so would have just caused me problems for too little benefit, since we didn’t continue working.
Some did want to keep working, and I heard one of the organizers trying to convince the others to push for everyone to just get together and finish in half an hour or so, but apparently most volunteers wanted to leave and the suggestion to send one bus back with those and keep the other there for the rest of us was struck down, the organizers saying they’re not allowed to do that due to bureaucracy. So we gathered for a group picture and at 2:30 PM we were leaving, though it was 2:55 PM when the bus actually left, some taking their time to get back to it, plenty of them, myself included, due to waiting their turn at the toilets again.
Again following my teammate’s cue, grabbed a small water bottle before leaving, but nothing else, though I heard someone say she was going back to grab one more of those desserts and I assume plenty of others got more food, since there should have been a fair bit left. Didn’t stick around though, in fact rushing forward after telling my teammate that I had to “make a pit stop” first, so even though plenty had left before us, I ended up there ahead of plenty of others and didn’t have that long to wait. Also tried not to make those behind me wait too long, but my hands were still frozen and getting through all that clothing was hard. Not quite sure how I managed to unbuckle my belt, unbutton my first pair of pants and untie the second one, but I did manage it, even though it required some strange and sudden moves that kept making my backpack, which was just hanging from one strap, strike the door, so I wonder what the others thought I was doing in there. Then had to use both hands to make sure I could, well, aim and not piss all over myself, after which I had a brief attempt to get my clothes back in order, realized I had no chance to do that and just went out like that, covering that area with the other clothes at first, stepping aside and struggling to at least buckle my belt back while standing next to the toilets. Then I walked like that to the bus, with the belt holding my pants on and the other clothes hiding the fact that they were completely unbuttoned.

Fortunately, it’s not just that the guy sitting next to me still didn’t try to talk, but as I was digging through my backpack for this month’s National Geographic, which I had taken with me, he silently moved to a seat on the other side of the last row, which was the one right behind the one we had been sitting on, both seats on that side, as well as the one that last row had in the middle, somehow ending up free on the way back, though somebody had sat there when we arrived and we were all supposed to get back to the same buses. They didn’t even call names to check, though I saw the person who had asked for our names on the way there, writing them down herself and leaving me with the impression that she had written mine wrong, have a look at each of us and at the list, so maybe she thought she remembered us well enough to check like that and some had simply sat in other seats, leaving those free because of that.
Those two, including that girl I knew from the Botanical Garden, still sat right in front of me though, and they had the right idea, asking whether they could be dropped off much earlier and the driver agreeing. Admittedly, I needed a lot of time for my hands to warm up enough to manage to even partially button up my pants as I was sitting there, leaving just the top button like that, this happening quite some time after nausea forced me to stop reading, but it would have saved a fair bit of time if I’d have gotten off along with them and the one other person who joined them, since traffic forced the bus to pretty much just crawl after reaching Bucharest. The driver stopped in front of the hypermarket that’s close to the metro station they mentioned, but it’d have been easy to get to that station and then take the metro, even if I’d have had to switch later. But since I didn’t, and still stayed even when more got off at a later point, it was only at 4:35 PM that I got off, when the bus stopped right in front of the metro station that’s close to the parking lot it had left from, leaving us all there so we won’t all waste a few more minutes and then have to walk back anyway. It took us 20 minutes to cover the distance between the previous metro station and that one. I could have walked that distance in about that same time, if not even less!

Once finally on the metro, I calculated that by 5 PM I should just be able to get to the location of the announced protest for that part of this park which plans list as space where pretty much anything can be built, and which was just surrounded by a fence, the gaps in the existing one being repaired and the previous entrances being closed off. And I did get there at 4:55 PM, but even though the event was listed as being between 2 PM and 5 PM and I see reports that about 100 people attended and a petition was signed, I couldn’t find anyone still there at the time. Considering the weather, that’s understandable, but I still say that the protest was way too early, and definitely shouldn’t have taken place on a day with other events that people interested in the environment were likely to attend.
Either way, that left me just walking back from there, and I passed through this nearby supermarket before coming up. Spotted an interesting yogurt that was discounted due to expiring soon and was thinking to just grab some coins and rush back down to get it, since I hadn’t taken any money with me, but once I was inside I gave up on that thought. Didn’t need it anyway, and I was too tired, and still cold too. Also, the big toe from my right foot hurt quite badly, but it stopped hurting since then and there’s no bruise either, though I definitely expected to see one when I looked that evening. Oddly enough, after checking the time each step of the way until then, I didn’t just when I got back, but I guess it was a bit after 5:20 PM, since it was 5:26 PM when I got to my room.

Started writing this Monday and at first meant to finish it that night, but I wasn’t anywhere near, so I’ll be adding some stuff that happened after that day now too, in fact writing this part Tuesday night, before returning to the part about the planting. Meant to try to write earlier Tuesday too, but between being so tired and the cold, crawled in bed and caught some more sleep in the evening, after waking up early again to go to the dentist. Not that my body didn’t still tell me I had catching up to do for Saturday, since despite actually sleeping a lot both Sunday, when I felt absolutely crushed, and Monday, I still didn’t feel like I had recovered after that day.

Since they have discounts for those who come before the afternoon, the appointment to have that chipped tooth, which I was told was actually a chipped filling, fixed meant waking up at 9:45 AM, to be there an hour later, and at least this time I didn’t have to wait much. The doctor was entirely new though, at least for me, not being any of the three that had worked on my teeth at this clinic so far, nor the other one I saw there once. The boss, whose patient I should have been now, was actually there at the time, and she stepped in for a moment to ask how I was doing, though I obviously couldn’t answer at the time, but the next opening on her schedule was apparently a couple of weeks away. But this should have been simple enough, replacing that filling, though I couldn’t figure out what she charged me for, since the price was almost twice what I expected.
The price may be something to ask about, or for dad to ask about, if I still won’t manage to get myself to do so, but more important is for the work to be done well and to last, so let’s see how it’ll go, with this and with what will be done next, since she said she saw a small cavity on another tooth and wants to fix the tooth behind the one where the filling had chipped now too, since she says that may be why this one broke, and either way that one was probably chipped at least twice over the years, and in fact when she had a look she first assumed that was the one I was referring to, but I didn’t bother with it before. She also stressed the need to remove the tartar built up, and my remaining wisdom teeth, but they always say that and I’ve been ignoring them so far, though now she also said there was a small cavity on the wisdom tooth in the upper right too.

After coming back from the dentist, I grabbed the recyclables and went to Carrefour and Kaufland, getting a few things from each. The issue was that the cabinet I put the stuff bought from Carrefour, and also my gloves, in when I went to Kaufland didn’t work again, and I had actually noticed it as soon as I locked it, since it didn’t seem to work as it should have and I tried to enter the code again immediately in order to unlock it and it didn’t work, but there was no point to ask the guard to help then, so I just bought what I meant to buy, tried again after that and then asked, though I ended up saying the drawer didn’t work, prompting the guard to say they don’t have drawers and almost making me freeze… And when I said what code I had set, he asked why didn’t I just use four identical digits so I won’t make mistakes next time, ignoring anything I tried to say and just insisting on the advice to just use four identical digits so there will be no mistakes, apparently convinced it couldn’t have been a malfunction even though he didn’t even check. And then he started talking to someone on the phone and opened the cabinet without saying anything else, or checking that it really was my cabinet in any way, so once again I could have taken anyone’s stuff.

One last thing I’ll mention is that two things broke Tuesday. First, I took my thick jacket that day and as I was leaving Kaufland and zipping it back up I found myself with the pull tab in my hand, and can’t figure out whether it came off or broke, since I can see no way to fit it back and no obvious torn edges. It’s possible that there was another part in between it and the slider and that broke and fell and I couldn’t find it there even though I looked around, just in case there was such a part, but either way, I can just move the slider directly, so that shouldn’t be that much of a problem for the moment. My bedroom door’s handle is, on the other hand, since this evening I just felt, and heard, something snap as I was closing the door and the handle on the outside is hanging quite loose since then. At least it’s the one on the outside, so if it breaks completely I may be locked out and have access to tools, not locked in, but it’s troubling either way… And it’s also strange, since this also happened to the bathroom door recently, and if in that case I thought it probably had something to do with the work dad did there, in case he hit or forced it in some way, that can’t be an explanation here, and yet two door handles failed in a similar manner just a couple of months apart, after having likely been here since we moved in, which I believe was in ’92, if not even in ’91, since I don’t think they’ve ever been changed.

Tomorrow I’ll be going to plant trees again, and again at Videle, since I signed up for the event of the same group that organized the last two such events I took part in, back in spring, this actually seeming to be the only such event open to volunteers from Bucharest this autumn. So I’m planning to try to go to bed early this evening and at least rest, even if I won’t be able to sleep, since I’ll be waking up at a time when I normally would just be getting ready to go to bed, and then I doubt I’ll be writing anything tomorrow after I’ll get back, meaning that I have to throw something here now to avoid a Sunday update. Not even sure if I’ll manage to read more of Sapiens this evening, since I finally got around to starting that this Monday, but I’ll try to at least go through one more section and then see if I’ll have time for more.

So I’ll be starting with Monday, when I had set my alarm to 9 AM but woke up just moments before, having it ring just as I was thinking to check the time. Would have just managed to leave at 10:15 AM, as planned, but as I was about to go out the door, with jacket and headphones on, I wanted to get the cable of the headphones under my shirt and realized the shirt was on backwards, so ended up leaving almost five minutes late, and didn’t run to the metro station either, just walking quickly. But the metro came quickly and it still required only walking quickly after getting off to get to that morning’s protest at 10:59 AM, so right on time, since it had been announced for 11 AM. But, even though some 20 people eventually attended, only a few were there then, mainly the organizers themselves, who had just managed to hand a sign to an old woman who kept coughing, so I just hope I didn’t catch anything, since I had to stand just in front of her.
The reason why I had to stand there is the same as that for not taking any pictures. Admittedly, hadn’t taken the camera, but had pulled out my phone to try to take a few, regardless of the poor quality, yet as soon as I got there Roxana waved enthusiastically and when I walked over she asked whether I wanted to hold her side of the banner, which I couldn’t refuse. That freed her not just to give more interviews, since Tudor was doing that quite fine while holding the other side, but also to go inside eventually, to meet with the Ministry’s representative, after somebody had walked out the second time to ask whether somebody was ready for the scheduled meeting after all, since it had apparently been scheduled for 11 AM too. Unfortunately, that meant I was stuck holding that banner and, with the guy giving interviews one after the other holding the other side, I was extremely visible, likely more so than even those who came after me and picked up the “golden chainsaw”, at times holding it as requested for pictures. Could only leave that spot some time after Tudor did, since he first asked me to hold the banner by myself so he’ll have a picture as well, leaving me with it as he moved away to chat with other participants, so after a few more moments I just rolled it up and stepped into the small group, leaving it on the “chainsaw” after that was also set down by those who had been holding it.

After that protest ended, at 11:55 AM, I went to what I understand to be the “main” Kaufland, which I hadn’t been to before. Had the metro card, so could go there, and wanted to take the opportunity to look for that kind of toilet paper that only they sold and which seems to have vanished for some time now, even if another kind from the same manufacturer still is available. But couldn’t find it there either, so guess it really is gone. But did grab the coffee my dad had asked me to get and a couple of things for myself, plus some more of those snacks Liza is addicted to, just to get to a rounder total, the problem being that I only noticed when I got back that the pomelo I had bought was rotten in a spot, that spot having been hidden under the “label-handle” of that mesh it comes in. Didn’t lose too much of it though, since that area did go deeper and had spread a bit inside, but in the end wasn’t as bad as I was starting to fear once I started digging it out. There was actually something else dad had asked for which I had noticed being cheaper there, but forgot about it and when I remembered, after checking out, I decided against going back, since I wanted to check the price at Auchan too anyway.
So I went to Auchan, after dropping off the stuff and taking the plastic bottles which had gathered. Used their free bus again, and of course I went to the stop five minutes early and it was at least five late, but at least that allowed me to read on the way there, and even while waiting, after reading on the metro earlier as well, since I took the book with me, and continued on the way back too, using streetlights to see, since the lights in the bus were these very faint blue things that offered no usable light at all. Unfortunately, the recycling machine again didn’t work, so there sure seems to be a pattern lately, with it working when I decide against taking bottles and not working when I do. It said there was an error and I know I managed to clear errors in the past, opening it and doing something to make it print an error receipt and move on, but I couldn’t figure out how to do that again now, though it would seem that others did, since there were five or so error receipts left on it, the one on top stating that 44 bottles had been inserted since the previous error, so it kept running into a problem but could be made to work for a while before it happened again. But since I couldn’t figure it out and couldn’t get myself to ask, I just left the bottles there again, losing clearly over 1 RON, and they were still there when I went out, so nobody even bothered to clean up. And I got a bunch of stuff from there at least, covering much of the next period as well… But I forgot both one more thing dad had asked me to get and the main thing I had gone there for, that being toilet paper, since I hadn’t found that other kind earlier.
If I remembered that other thing when I got off the free bus here, I only remembered the toilet paper after taking the plastics and the stuff I’m dropping off at this Kaufland and going out again, since I still had to get what I had forgotten for dad and wanted to get it all over with in one day. Thought I won’t have money left to sort it out, since I had completely forgotten about toilet paper when I calculated, and I wouldn’t have had the money to get back to Auchan the next day and get some from there, but eventually figured out a way to get some from Kaufland, so we’ll at least have something for the next period. And since the little bit I had left was just shy of what was needed for anything else, meant to get some carrots too, but then I saw that, while they were cheaper than they had been in the other one, earlier, evening discount possibly kicking in even though I’m not sure it was even 7 PM yet, it said they were imported while at the other one they were listed as being from Romania, so I didn’t get any after all… And then apparently couldn’t count money anymore, since I counted twice and it sure seemed that I had 1 RON more than I thought, so I gave the cashier what seemed the right amount, yet she said she had counted three times and it was 1 RON short, asking whether I wanted to count again myself. But I just said no and gave her the remaining amount, thinking that for once I trusted her more than I trusted myself, after three hours of sleep and wandering around all day, and especially since it worked out to what I knew I should have left, regardless of how much I came up with when I counted.

Felt like crying after all of that, and the left knee had hurt most of the day, in a different way, a duller pain that went deeper. That made it difficult to do the usual squats that evening, but managed it, and actually wonder if Sunday’s squats had anything to do with it hurting in the first place, since I did them while watching a match, timing myself that way, as I tend to do on days with matches, and managed to do the 100 squats in 2:46, which I’m quite sure is a new record. Managed it in less than three minutes a few times, but don’t recall ever getting under 2:55, and almost certainly not under 2:50, so that was rather surprising, and did leave me gasping for breath and feeling like I was close to getting cramps once I was done.

The next day I took it easy, and would have wanted to play some more Age of Wonders: Shadow Magic but couldn’t since it wouldn’t start anymore, the issue being sorted out one day later, after I rebooted to install this month’s Windows updates, and last month’s security-only bundle as well, since I hadn’t installed it yet. The issue was that, while I didn’t get another one of those conhost.exe crashes, which had last happened in September, right away, my TV tuner’s software didn’t show up in the notification area, even though it was running, and when I decided to try to fix it by just logging off and back on instead of rebooting again, I did get another one of those crashes, which was for the first time not tied to a .NET update, since I didn’t install that this month, so I really have no clue what may be triggering it. Did send the dump to the Emsisoft support guy who said he’d be curious about it, just it case it may have something to do with that, and could have a look to try help me out even if it doesn’t, but he said he couldn’t figure out what was going on at a quick glance either, just that the exception was entirely within ntdll.dll and his best guess is that conhost.exe tried to read memory which had already been freed by another, unknown, program. But at least it didn’t happen again after rebooting… Though one thing that did happen was that I seemed to be getting a few double spaces again, yet it didn’t seem to happen again after that evening, so let’s see.

Going back a bit, before installing those updates, Wednesday I ran. Wanted to leave at 3:45 PM and made it for once, and the run was good as well, the time being 47:22, matching what at the moment is the third fastest over this distance, sector times being 4:21, 5:02, 5:48, 4:21, 4:58, 5:45, 4:23, 5:06, 5:55 and 1:43, making for lap times of 15:11, 15:04 and 15:24. Though there weren’t many people on the route, in a few places they did get in my way, so actually think I lost a few seconds because of that, but the conditions were good, with very little wind and the reported 12-13°C being a good temperature for running, though it felt a bit chilly on the way. On the other hand, my knees, both of them, were not fine, bothering me from the start and requiring me to pay attention to my running posture in order to spare them a bit more… Which I guess I failed at quite badly early on sector three of lap two, when I did something that made that left knee hurt quite badly. It was tricky after that, had to figure out how to keep running since it kept hurting, definitely on left turns, but at times even on straights. Had to listen to it and do my best to move how it still allowed me to, but still did really well even so, including a final sector which I last matched in February, the week after setting what remains that sector’s record.

Moving on, with all the sales here, this evening I ended up having a look at some headphones, which seem the most acceptable out of what’s available despite still not being over-ear, having that microphone which I’ll never use and can neither remove nor retract, and that cushion at the top being impossible to clean, but gave up on the idea, the fact that the 20% discount still puts them outside my price range having something to do with that as well, even though I could cover the price if I’d have really wanted to. On the other hand, earlier, got dad to order the exhaust hood for the stove that I had my eyes on since last week. We definitely need one, as the old one, probably bought back in 2002 when all that other work was done here, hasn’t been usable in many years and with winter coming, the window likely to not be opened even as much as it was so far and dad cooking what and how he cooks, it’ll be quite an issue yet again otherwise. It had been on sale for a while and seemed like a really good deal, though of course for him it still seemed too expensive and he said we should wait and see and that he’ll have to talk with my mother as well, leaving the matter like that until I saw that the discount was even higher today, so I pressed, and apparently my mother wanted it as well, and he made the order… But just for the hood itself, firmly refusing the extended warranty even when I said I’d cover that, saying he will not pay more for warranty and doesn’t want to show any support that way for products that last longer, again adding to the many ways in which he’s a very obvious example of exactly what’s wrong with the world and needs to be defeated, because there’s no way to work with this sort of mindset.
Otherwise, he also went to the family doctor and asked about my legs as well, being referred to a doctor from the same clinic, though I’ll probably only get there the week after the next. Hope I’ll at least get to the dentist on Tuesday though, since I had at first been scheduled for Thursday but then they called to say the doctor needs to leave the city for a while and they had to reschedule.

October 30 marked three years since the Colectiv club fire, and of course multiple events were once again announced, at least four, that I know of, being scheduled to start at 5 PM, while the one which I guess should be considered the more “official” one was set to start at 7 PM. Still, it all worked out, since at least the location was the same, the park at Unirii, and people could start gathering from 5 PM, or perhaps even earlier for some, while the march actually started at 7:15 PM. In between, a giant canvas cross was built and the names and ages of those killed were written on it.
What seemed inappropriate and annoyed some of the participants was that access towards the fountains, on the other side of that small park, was closed off, apparently due to rehearsals for the December 1 festivities, which meant we were seeing a light show and had to listen to the anthem and possibly other patriotic songs as well, though I’m not sure about this last part. Since the time and place of the gathering was known a long time in advance, and should have in fact been obvious even if the authorities wouldn’t have been notified, they could have scheduled those rehearsals so they won’t overlap, even by simply starting them after the march would have cleared the area.
Though there were no more specific plans mentioned for the rest of the evening, the march was again called “The March of Guitars” and guitarists were again asked to bring their guitars and play and sing. However, while I did spot a few more guitar cases, only two actually made use of their guitars, and occasionally their voices, before, during and after the march, a violinist also joining them at that time, as you can see in the pictures I took. Under those circumstances, calling it the “March of Torches” would have likely been more appropriate, since torches had been brought and they were lit and given to people at the start of the march, though at the end they pretty much became props for one of the shows being broadcast from there that evening.
The march itself started at 7:15 PM and reached Bucur Square at 7:50 PM, but some were already there, some came even earlier, during the day, while others came later, people still heading in that direction even after 8:30 PM, when I left. Estimates vary wildly, as I saw anything from 1500 to 5000, but considering what I saw during the march and how packed that area was at the end, I’m certain that the low end of that range is completely wrong. The high end may be too high for the march itself, but the total might have in fact been even higher.
One of the topics for discussion was how politicians observed the moment, and the fact that the President was the only major figure to come, earlier during the day. Some members of USR were there, including the party’s president, but the people were referring to the leadership of the big parties, and saying that even if some would have wanted to show up, they likely knew better than to try, people being angered even more after the Prime Minister simply walked away after being asked earlier that day whether she had a message for the occasion. An official message was posted by the Government later, but I’d say that only made things worse, showing that they had been unprepared for it, having perhaps somehow hoped to be able to ignore the event.

Moving on, days later, apparently on November 2, there was a new development in the Rosia Montana matter, a brief on behalf of the Romanian civil society being submitted, adding the perspective and experience of the community to the information presented before the court which will rule on the company’s demand of $4 billion from the Romanian state, as compensation for not being allowed to go ahead with the mining project. But what I’ll actually write about here is that, also on November 2, an urgent campaign was started, asking people to send comments to the Ministry of Waters and Forests, demanding to block the clearing of 56 hectares of forest, including a rare mix of tree species and important bird habitats, for the Certej mining project, which will use similar methods, therefore causing similar destruction and carrying similar risks, and which is actually closer to actually starting than the Rosia Montana one ever was. With the draft proposal to allow this clearing already published and a statement released on November 5 revealing that the Government had already received the fee for clearing the entire area in question, there was no time to lose.
There was an older petition to sign as well, but it took quite a while for people to be reminded of that as part of the campaign, probably in an attempt to avoid offering such an easy way to feel like you’re doing something without taking the action which was supposed to have a much bigger impact. However, the petition and the signatures gathered until then were delivered to the Ministry this Monday, when a small protest also took place, from 11 AM. Only a few people were there at that hour, but as the activists gave interviews to several reporters and eventually also went inside to meet with a Secretary of State, since the Minister was not available, the number of participants reached about 20, though some had already left by 11:55 AM, when everyone cleared away. Low turnout, but for an event taking place at that hour on a weekday, and an overcast and foggy weekday at that, I guess it was all right, and the media presence and the formal meeting, probably along with the “golden chainsaw”, were what generated the impact, not the numbers. The “chainsaw” wasn’t actually delivered to the Ministry though, since it’d have quite certainly just been thrown away and it’s unfortunately almost certain that it’ll be needed again in the future.
It would appear that the Ministry representative stated during the meeting that the information regarding the at least questionable, and even clearly illegal, way in which that forest ended up in the property of the mining company was new to them and they will look into it, though the investigation had been published years ago and its findings mentioned again during this campaign, including by members of USR, so a party represented in the Parliament. There was also a promise to organize a public debate on the matter, supposedly a proper one this time around, which should at least offer more time, if little else.

Should have written this earlier today, but should still manage it even if I’m starting quite late, after playing Age of Wonders: Shadow Magic a fair bit more, while it’s really choppy but at least still starts. Finished the first scenario of the Syron campaign Thursday, actually doing it the way I was meant to, just barely holding off the enemy from that area with the cities after running away with my heroes and remaining rescued units, then having the enemy turn away from there after a couple of lost battles and letting me focus on advancing with that army. Did lose it once, after going west when I was told to go east and getting completely swarmed, and with the autosave putting me in the same situation, that meant loading from the earlier save I had, which was from several turns, maybe up to ten, earlier, and from just before one hero leveling up and being given first strike as a choice, which I haven’t gotten again since. But once I did go the right way, it seemed too easy and fast, the swarm of enemies approaching that city I had to capture and hold, but stopping just before it and turning away as I got the second round of reinforcements, including that hero with no description, and the next turn I had apparently won. The next scenario sure is proving tricky though, with all those storms and other events, and not seeing the map, and hard to reach areas, and I’m saving and loading a whole lot, usually because, while I’d otherwise win the battles, I keep losing heroes, probably also because I risk them too much in the attempt to have them gain as much experience as possible, and that’s not acceptable. Wouldn’t otherwise want to resort to this much saving and loading, but I want to finish this by the end of the year…

Since I mentioned Thursday, that night I ended up with another chipped tooth, this one from the upper right side. Actually not sure whether I still had a thin wall of tooth in that area or that whole side, towards the back, was the filling, so not sure what that corner that came off actually was, but it was just a corner, so probably not hard to fix if it was the actual tooth, while if it was the filling it’ll likely need replacing either way. It’s been some time since work was last done on that one, so it’s not a matter of it not lasting at least, but my old dentist did have problems making the filling stick at first, before finally finding a way, so I’m worried those issues may happen again now, plus that it’s possible that quite a lot of that tooth was taken away and any more work there, even just to clean up a bit before putting in the new filling, may go too deep. But I guess I’ll see how it’ll turn out.

Otherwise, ran twice this week, but the times were again poor, at least compared to the standards I now have, aiming to stay under 48 minutes. Wednesday’s time was 48:20, with sector times of 4:21, 5:08, 5:54, 4:34, 5:05, 5:59, 4:26, 5:04, 5:59 and 1:50, making for lap times of 15:23, 15:38 and 15:29, while yesterday’s was 48:04, with sector times of 4:20, 5:08, 5:49, 4:28, 5:00, 5:54, 4:31, 5:10, 5:55 and 1:49, making for lap times of 15:17, 15:22 and 15:36. So last week’s 47:58 remains the only time under 48 minutes after running the marathon, while out of the six times I covered this distance between getting the new shoes and the marathon, only one was over that time, and that was after skipping a week after the long practice run. My left knee feels much better though, only giving a few little “warnings” while running, prompting me to become more aware of exactly how I’m moving that leg while running and make some slight adjustments on the spot, until it was fine again. What’s more, it didn’t bother me at all after Wednesday’s run either, and while today it does bother me a bit, it’s nothing like before.
Wasn’t sure whether I wanted to run Wednesday, knowing that the weather was going to be better Friday, but eventually decided to do it, even if I had already eaten grapes instead of the usual apple and it meant rushing after dad left, eating and drinking the usual stuff quite in a hurry, right before leaving, and just going out the door at 4:05 PM, worried about the light. But I didn’t rush on the way, in fact walking quite slowly, and angrily, past the areas where they’re trashing even more of the green spaces left, and noticing that much of the tended garden I had mentioned in the previous post was also paved over by then. That meant it was 4:17 PM or 4:18 PM by the time I started running, yet could still manage to see the time on my stopwatch even at the end, though it was dark by the time I got back here. Tried to start slower, so I won’t tire myself, but the second lap’s first sector was already bad even so, and trying to make up for it over the next two sectors didn’t go that well, but then I pushed hard from the start of lap three and on the second sector I actually thought I could have pushed even harder, yet that lap’s sector three time likely says that was a wrong impression. I did try to run in a way that made it hard though, alternating, trying to spare both my left knee and my liver, and this was probably also why at some point it felt like something snapped in my right calf, but it was manageable and by Friday it seemed fine again.
Friday’s run wasn’t exactly planned either, and in fact I was leaning towards not running again, but saw a pastry bought by dad and, after leaving the previous one he had bought there for days, decided to eat that one right away, but to also have a reason for the treat. That meant I had that pastry instead of one of the usual things I eat before a run, but at least I had the usual apple and didn’t rush anymore, comfortably leaving and starting exactly 30 minutes earlier than on Wednesday. Pushed hard, feeling on lap two that I was at a level of effort suited for the last lap and wondering what will be left, the time on that third lap offering the answer, since I again pushed hard all the way and that was all I had. Still thought I had a chance when I started lap three’s third sector, but at the end of it I knew I won’t be able to cover the final sector in the required 1:44, so might have had one or two more seconds in me there at the end, but definitely not the five I needed. Good weather, next to no wind, but there were some people and they cost me a bit of time in a few places, so it’s possible that I could have managed to just get under 48 minutes again if the route would have been clear, but this level of effort should have produced a better result at this point either way.

The fact that I’m carrying some additional weight may have something to do with these results though, since I rather stuffed myself with the things my mother kept making during this last period when she was here and I got to 53 kg, which is a weight I definitely didn’t have since I was living with Andra, if not even before that. There was a time, after I got curious enough to actually weigh myself more than a couple of times per year, when I was thinking I should see about getting myself to 58 kg or so and couldn’t even manage to go above 50 again, but now I’m thinking that, while it was concerning that I kept going down as I increased the distance of my regular run, ending up at 47 for quite a while and even seeing 46 after a couple of longer runs, possibly even 45 once, if I remember correctly, 50 should be good enough. And my body has definitely been asking me to stop putting such an unusual amount of food, and sweet and greasy things in particular, into it, since I’ve been feeling rather bloated, had heartburn and was even slightly nauseous a few times.

I guess this should be about it for now, though I’d also mention that I shaved my head yesterday evening, since it won’t be getting warmer now and I had to at least do it one more time before spring. It has been very warm so far though, the fact that I didn’t even consider taking my training shirt for these recent runs even though it’s already November proving that, and I’m pretty sure I won’t be wearing it next week either, but after that it’ll probably start being needed, and I’ll need to start thinking about creating more of a buffer too, if the conditions will force me to skip weeks during the winter. Then again, probably already have enough of a buffer, but I haven’t been keeping track for quite a while and don’t mean to take previous runs into account, wanting to average one per week starting now, probably considering yesterday’s run as the first additional one. Wonder if this will help me find some motivation again or actually have the opposite effect, especially after the conditions will cause my times to worsen considerably when I’m unhappy with them as they are. But even if I would be content with the times, it is hard to find motivation to just keep going like this after running a marathon, which was something I worked my way up to for three and a half years.