Cav's Place

Since it was mentioned in Quiet, looked up this test, or some version of it at least, and took it as I read the book, saving the result because I thought there’d be more tests mentioned that I’ll end up taking by the time I’ll finish, so I meant to post all results at once. But in the end there was nothing else, or at least nothing clear enough for me to look up and take right away, so I was left with this single result, which I’m posting now, since I gave up on the thought of posting something else today. Took the liberty to fix typos, add some commas, and make the bars accurately reflect the score.

Eysenck Test Results
 

Extroversion (sociability)	|||| 13%
Neuroticism (emotionality)	|||||||||||||||||||| 77%
Psychoticism (rebelliousness)	|||||||||||| 48%

This test reflects the ideas of Hans Eysenck, a pioneer in the field of personality research. Through research and statistical analysis, he determined that personality is composed of three main elements: Extroversion, Neuroticism, and Psychoticism. Most current researchers agree on the significance of the first two traits, but there is less consensus on the third (so he may be wrong about its central importance, but it clearly plays some role in personality). Most people will score lower on Psychoticism. While Psychoticism implies more negative qualities than the other two traits (typically), a link has been found in several studies between higher creativity and higher scores on Psychoticism.

Here are your results on each dimension:

Extroversion results were very low, which suggests you are extremely reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private.

Neuroticism results were high, which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Psychoticism results were medium, which suggests you are moderately self interested, willful, and difficult, while still respecting the well being of others.

Prior to Eysenck’s discovery of Psychoticism, he correlated his original two traits with an ancient greek personality system known as the Galen types (Melancholic, Choleric, Sanguine, Phlegmatic). Below is a plotting of your scores on that map.

 
Take Eysenck Personality Test (similar to EPQ-R)

So would that map mean that the test in its initial form would most accurately describe me as sober, or are those just traits associated with the melancholic personality type and their order and which one you’re nearest to is irrelevant? Either way, seems fair enough, doesn’t it?

Unusually for me, read it in Romanian, so things may have gotten lost in translation and I may have failed to make some connections or even pay enough attention at times. Still, sure seems well written and properly researched, though the notes that weren’t just references should have been footnotes, as I had to keep looking at the notes section every few pages to see whether there were any of that kind connected to what I had just read. It does a great job of presenting how introverts function and why, including details that may be somewhat surprising, stresses their strengths and advantages, and definitely properly presents the problems with the Extrovert Ideal and shaping society according to it. If it’d have stopped at that, it’d have been a truly outstanding work.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. I may even mention how the author rather discards what may perhaps be at the outer edge of introversion and gears the book toward a need for balance, but I’m mainly referring to all those parts focusing on how to go against who you really are if you’re an introvert, even more so if it’s for a career or organized education, focusing on those as a person being a huge problem in itself in my view. There was also the comparison between the Western Extrovert Ideal and typical Asian behavior, which to me was a comparison between two deeply flawed views and behavior patterns. Or the compromise between “Greg” and “Emily”, which seems in no way fair or even tolerable for “Emily” to me. But most infuriating of all were all the parts of the chapter about children telling parents how to make their children behave less like what comes natural for them, stressing the need for methods that are much more considerate than the norm in no way excusing supporting the view that people must change themselves to fit society’s ideals at least to a significant degree instead of the other way around. Yet somehow, despite gritting my teeth because of that, I can’t quite take away that fourth star.

Rating: 4/5

Just like I wrote the previous personal post Thursday because I was going to be out Friday and Saturday, leaving little time to write and adding more things to write about, making it quite impossible to fit in one post, I’m now writing this Wednesday because I’ll be out tomorrow and possibly also Friday and there will be more things to write about after that, making it quite impossible to fit in one post. The difference is that now I would at least have Saturday available for a very late first post of the week while last week that wasn’t an option, but I sure don’t want to wait and then need to fit even more things in it on the last possible day.

To start with Friday, I was going to buy some things again, going on what’s starting to be my usual route now, including that farmers’ market, hoping to find that person with the apples there again. Unfortunately, however, I didn’t, nor did I find anyone else with Romanian apples, so I just got a few apricots from there and a few oranges from a hypermarket, plus a few peaches from the same hypermarket for my mother. I was charged for the peaches as if they were the cheaper imported kind, but if they insist on having employees weigh and label fruit and vegetables instead of letting the customers do it, as some others do, I’m not going to correct them when they make mistakes in my favor.
Also got quite a lot of green onions and some smoked kashkaval from the market, but no tomatoes, since I went around a few times, trying to decide whether to buy any and, if so, where from and being unable to make up my mind until picking up a tomato to look at it prompted the woman selling them to call after me that she doesn’t know what she’ll do to me if I touch the tomatoes again, commenting to someone else after I walked away that it was the third time I did that. And she may have been right, definitely was at least the second one, but I still don’t see what her problem was.
Either way, that prompted a mixed fight and flight response in me, being confronted that way, so on the one hand I wanted to just get the fuck away from there while on the other I pretty much “saw red” and meant to turn around, slam my hands in all her tomatoes and shout in her face. But I just got out of there, giving up on the idea of tomatoes, whether from there or from anywhere else, and got back to drop off what I had already purchased even though the original plan was to make a detour and get other stuff as well, only dropping them all off after that, before going back out for only a second trip. But I had enough time for three trips, having started early enough, so I got everything else I wanted and there were no other incidents. And I also picked up 0.66 RON in found coins, though that included I believe 21 0.01 RON ones and it may be a bit awkward to make use of them now. Had spotted a few more of those on the floor at the end, but left them there for that reason.

Moving on to Saturday, I went to that “fair” for NGOs again, still just out of curiosity, and walked all the way there and back, despite the distance. However, I arrived pretty much at the same time as the storm and got caught in it, so there was nothing to see because the strong wind that came before the heavy rain knocked tents over and blew away whatever it could, so everybody was busy recovering what they could, gathering their things and preventing more damage, after which they started to leave. After posting nothing since the start of the storm, the organizers eventually announced during the evening that, due to the bad weather and the damage caused by the storm, the event, which was to continue Sunday as well, was canceled.
The weather during my walk there, with clouds and some wind, was pretty much just right to make it all right for such a long walk on a summer day, but as soon as I entered the park I saw a huge dark cloud right ahead. Nothing to do but head straight for it though, so I walked past the stage, reached those first tents which I guess were for organizers and maybe also sponsors, decided on the side to start from and went to the first tent there. That was supposedly the “customs tent” and I saw people picking up something with “Pass” written on it from there, so I wondered what that was all about, but there were too many people there and I thought I’ll get back to it later, moving on to the second.
Well, I didn’t actually get to that second tent, because a powerful gust of wind hit just as I turned and, after all sorts of things started flying, I found the tent coming towards me instead. Was just reacting to the situation, so I’m not sure whether it tipped over right away and I pulled back enough for it to fall in front of me, then grabbed it when it was picked back up, or I had to grab on to it right away, but I know that I firmly planted my feet, aimed for one of the bars of the support structure and grabbed on to it as it was coming towards me, using my other hand to keep the other parts from slamming into me. Then, once I felt that the tent itself was no longer the immediate threat, I turned my head around to make sure I won’t get pushed into the stand selling various things that was right behind me and that no things falling or flying from it will hit me. When it was clear that the people working there had also reacted quickly and were holding things in place, I could start looking around, noticing that the girls who used to be in the tent I was holding were picking themselves up after having it first on and then going over them, starting to rush to gather what they could as the wind was blowing their things away. Also noticed that one or maybe two other guys had appeared to hold on to the same tent I was holding and one of them said we should try to put it down, which we managed, so it didn’t act so much like a sail or a kite anymore.
With that initial moment over, I started helping the girls gather their materials, though I was just picking up whatever I could and dumping the things wherever I could while they and the others who were in a similar situation were trying to see what was theirs and what wasn’t. Problem was that they were placing the stuff back on their tables, which was pointless because the wind just scattered everything again right away, so when I noticed the boxes which used to have been either at the back of the tent or perhaps even behind it I grabbed one, meaning to place it on the stuff on the table. Not sure if I actually did though, as one of the girls saw what I was doing and said we should indeed put things in boxes, to which I replied that we can just put the boxes on the things, which she agreed was also a way to do it, and after that I’m not sure whether she placed one box on the table and I placed the other or she actually took both, possibly after I dropped the one I was holding. Either way, stuff wasn’t flying around anymore, at least.
As the area was starting to be cleared of papers, one of them looked at what I was bringing and said she didn’t think those things were theirs and that she believes they were “ours”, obviously having assumed that I was part of the team working the “customs tent”. When I said there’s no “us” because I just happened to get caught in it when it started and was trying to help and then sort of wandered away, somebody who actually had been working in that “customs tent” said that, in that case, maybe I could help those trying to gather their tent, as that was also knocked over and somewhere on the alley by that point. Had no idea what to do though, so I went to them and probably just got in the way for a little while, before having another look around and going to help a guy gather the structure of another tent which he had already taken apart. After that, or at least I think it was after that, the first guy who had joined me in holding on to the tent that came towards me said we should at least pick up the tents still on the alley and move them off it, next to some trees, so they won’t be in the way anymore.
After the two of us and one other guy did that, I heard some volunteers, or at least I think they were volunteers, saying they should go to the debate area because there’s a complete mess there. So I started heading that way as well, but slowly, taking my time to have a look at the tents that were on one of the alleys. Some were already closed though, so I couldn’t even see what NGOs should have been using them, while in the others people were busy gathering their things. Being connected to each other, the tents themselves hadn’t been blown away though, only the last one, which was completely empty and abandoned by the time I reached it, leaning rather heavily, while in the one next to it a pretty short and thin girl was holding on to the support structure as hard as she could, to prevent it from being dragged down by the leaning one, while the others were rushing to gather everything up.
When I reached the debate area, I saw the tents upside down on the alley and two guys trying to gather them but not seeming to manage anything, yet no sign of the volunteers. But before heading that way I had noticed how others had taught a guard to help them with the feet of another tent, so I did just that and found that it worked, one segment sliding into another step by step. When the other guys noticed, one told me to tell them how to gather the tents as well, if I knew, but I said I just saw how to do what I was doing with the feet, so we just did that for all of them, then sort of scratched our heads a little, tried to push on the other parts for a bit, then the other guy said we’d better just leave them as they are, because he already broke one trying to help, though we could perhaps turn them so they won’t be upside down anymore. So we remove the canvas, turn the structure, and eventually move them off the alley as well, placing them between the trees. Then I also stack two chairs which hadn’t already been stacked, the others move some other things as well, eventually one of them takes the canvas from the tents and starts piling it over some other stuff and I help with that as well, then wander away, because it had started pouring.
As I made my way back on the alley, I found some activists I know still in their tent, though they had gathered their things otherwise, and greeted them, pointing out that they were among the last ones still there when they said they were just taking shelter, which prompted one of them to look around, seeming quite surprised to notice that it was true. Didn’t stick around there though, looking for shelter first under trees, then under tall bushes as well, then back under a large tree while also placing its trunk between myself and the direction the wind was coming from. Three cyclists were on the other side of that tree at first, a few steps away, but some worrying sounds started coming and they first carefully moved towards them and then left, so I moved next to the group of volunteers, who were making makeshift raincoats out of garbage bags. Spotting the girl who was the source of those sounds, they meant to see what was happening, but I commented that it may be a bad idea for everyone to go, and I think one of them may have said the same thing, so just a few went, coming back a few moments later to tell the rest that a girl was having a seizure, but she was with her mother who said she didn’t need help, claiming it was epilepsy. Didn’t seem like it and nobody was convinced, a few other possible explanations being passed around, but doubt anybody knew enough to feel confident in contradicting the claim, so I guess they decided to just ignore the issue.
Eventually I took a few more steps and got under a large umbrella that was next to a nearby stand, since it was firmly fixed, provided better shelter and just a few other people were under it… And simply stood there until the rain stopped, though the others had left after it had stopped pouring quite so badly the first time and I was left sharing it with only a sweeper, who also left its shelter a couple of times, returning quickly as the rain got heavier again. But I have no problem being patient and saw that huge dark cloud slowly moving past the park, so I just waited until the rain stopped for good, though I wasn’t confident enough that it won’t start again to stick around any longer after that, more clouds still being above and the wind direction seeming to start to vary. About one hour and a quarter passed between that first powerful gust and the moment I left, making my way behind the cloud. Ended up walking back into the rain shortly before changing direction, but once I did that the cloud could get far enough ahead before I had to head right its way again, so it was all right, albeit a bit chilly. And can’t say the day wasn’t interesting…

Moving on, I had somehow counted the days wrong all along, so it’s a good thing I didn’t skip reading on any more days last week, because I was just on pace to finish The Hero of Ages Sunday, which I did, posting the quick review then as well. And then I started Quiet, or more exactly the Romanian edition of it, that same evening, and I’m hoping the quick review for it will be this week’s second post. Pretty sure I didn’t mess up again, so I should finish Saturday, or at least Sunday if I won’t read at all tomorrow or read too little both tomorrow and Friday.

As for this week’s run, that was Tuesday and the time was 49:50, with sector times of 4:29, 5:12, 6:02, 4:32, 5:14, 6:09, 4:43, 5:19, 6:21 and 1:49, making for lap times of 15:43, 15:55 and 16:23. So, despite the route being clear enough, I only just managed to match the time I managed two weeks ago, when the park was crowded, these being the worst regular run times after the half marathon. And that last lap was the worst one in even longer, things actually getting difficult from the second lap’s second sector, so it’s a bit embarrassing. At the same time, it’s interesting that I consider it embarrassing even though the reported temperature was around 30°C, I didn’t even drink anything before leaving, as in not even the bit of tea I usually take from the bottle in my room before going for a run, and my right hip is still not happy about something, yet I still managed to stay under 50 minutes, which until some ten and a half months ago seemed too insane a goal to even consider, and which I only first managed seven months ago.

If I was saying that I wouldn’t call The Final Empire dark, The Hero of Ages definitely is, despite an ending that doesn’t quite fit. On the other hand, if The Well of Ascension at times seemed to me to read as I expect a good crime novel would, only on a much bigger scale, The Hero of Ages didn’t leave the same impression. There is a solid direction, there are revelations that build upon each other, the scale is even grander, and the stakes, the importance and impact of actions and events, as high as possible while confined to a single planet, but perhaps it moves too quickly and goes too far, leaving behind a feeling that details, even important ones, are overlooked in the process, that it occasionally falls apart at the seams.
It definitely is written well, and it also touches upon quite a number of issues and occasionally offers arguments which may or may not be considered bits of wisdom, likely depending on whether or not the reader agrees, so I have no reservations in stating that it’s a good book. At the same time… I expected more. Or, more exactly, I expected better, though I do now realize that The Well of Ascension may have set the bar too high in certain aspects and made me carefully search for certain elements, looking for flaws and dismissing potential positive aspects if they didn’t mark a significant improvement, which may have been too much to ask. For example, after having correctly figured out the identity of the spy in The Well of Ascension pretty much right away, I felt that the author may have allowed me to do so in order to lull me into complacency and then surprise me with even greater revelations, while now there was no similar feeling after also immediately figuring out the identity of the Hero of Ages. Yet is that because there really was nothing greater hidden beneath, or is it because I was somewhat inoculated against that feeling, searching too carefully and expecting too much? I couldn’t really say…

Rating: 4/5

Hope I’ll make this quick, because everything I had gained by reading more at the end of last week was lost when I didn’t read at all Monday and I still have to get to a certain page today if I’m to finish Saturday, especially since I’m not sure how much or even if I’ll be reading tomorrow. If I won’t, it’ll be quite a push to finish Saturday anyway, and also writing the quick review then would be even less likely, but that’s just why I want to finish Saturday, so I’ll be able to wait one more day and still have it as this week’s second post.

To get right to it, Monday I moved things around and sprayed the rest of my room, accidentally using the new catalogs from two hypermarkets to put on the floor instead of old ones. Had removed old newspapers from the pile in the kitchen for that purpose, but threw them on top of those catalogs, and then I saw them there and, completely forgetting that I hadn’t removed any catalogs from the pile and that dad had put the new ones there, picked them up instead, since they’re better for the purpose. And that was a bit of a nuisance because they don’t put them on-line until the day the offers start while they send the paper ones a few days earlier, so on top of just having something to look through while eating at night or on the toilet, I do use them to plan purchases as well, despite frowning at all the wasted paper.
Either way, I did glance through them as I picked them back up after I was done, before going out, so had an idea of the few things I meant to wait a few more days before getting and one plan would have been to buy the other things I meant to get this week then. But in the end I just checked prices in two hypermarkets, then sort of wandered away, not quite certain what I meant to do next, ending up looking for one branch of the Metropolitan Library and getting myself a pass. Had been sort of considering it for a while and I guess I finally got around to it. Annoying that they ask about education and occupation though, and I did wonder aloud about the relevance, and also not keen on the fact that the passes have a chip, but there shouldn’t be any information on it that I may want to be able to see myself and I won’t have the pass on me unless I intend to use it that day, so I guess it works.
That done, I then checked prices in a nearby supermarket as well, then walked back to one of the hypermarkets to just get a couple of things, leaving anything else for another day. Could have wandered around a while longer, as the smell in my room was still quite strong when I got back and, as I already stated, I didn’t read that day anyway, plus that I didn’t clean the room or move anything back that evening, so I ended up sleeping on a bed that was rather in the middle of the room, with the boxes of books and the bookcase right next to it, but that’s how it worked out that day I guess.

When I woke up on Tuesday, I really didn’t know what I meant to do that day, but eventually ended up going on the Library’s site and reserving Quiet, or the Romanian edition of it, to be exact. Not keen on reading translations, but for something like this I guess it may not be quite so bad, and I didn’t think I’d be purchasing this but was curious about reading it for some time now, even if I’ll probably just get annoyed for various reasons, so I decided to make some use of that pass now that I got it. Not that I knew how the whole thing worked, and it didn’t seem to me that much was happening if you did reserve a book on-line, but the option was there and I used it.
After that, I first went for a run. Or, more exactly, I first went out without my stopwatch, realized it on the way to the park, came back for it, then went for a run, the time being 49:34, with sector times of 4:35, 5:10, 6:06, 4:36, 5:10, 6:01, 4:38, 5:13, 6:12 and 1:53, making for lap times of 15:51, 15:47 and 16:03. Rather poor final sector, lap three wasn’t too good either, but it counts as another regular run in less than 50 minutes, albeit one on a quite clear track, so I could have done better if I’d have meant to push harder. But my right hip was not happy anyway, so it was good enough.
When I checked the Library’s site again when I got back, I saw no change in the book’s status, so I decided to just go and see how things actually work, having quite a long walk after my run, since there was no copy available in the branches that are closer. That walk was made even longer by the fact that I missed a turn required for the planned slightly shorter route on my way there, only getting things right on the way back, but I didn’t get lost and was in no hurry, so it wasn’t much of a problem.
Either way, once I reached the Library, I tried to look for the book myself, but was looking at social sciences instead of psychology, plus that I was looking for a white cover when this edition is, in fact, gray, so I couldn’t find it. Not that I expected to find it, of course, since I had reserved it and assumed it’d be put away somewhere, so it won’t be grabbed by someone else. As a result, I then walked up to one of the people there, handed her my pass and said I reserved a book on the site, expecting her to just pull up the information based on the pass. Instead, however, she asked me what book that was, searched on the computer for quite a while, asked if I looked for it myself, then went somewhere else to search when I said I couldn’t find it, returning to say it’s not in storage and going to the shelves to look there herself… Only for me to spot it almost right away once I saw which shelves she was looking in. Felt rather bad about that, making her wander around when I could have just picked it up myself if I’d have only looked in the right spot from the beginning, and then I could have taken it without interacting with anyone, since it’s all done by having a machine read the chips in the pass and the book and hitting loan or return on the screen, which she also did for me when she saw me just standing there confused. But at least I now know what to do when returning it, and in case I’ll get anything else in the future.
Might have ended up losing it even before getting back though, as I put it in a bag and then left the bag on top of some fruit or vegetables, forgot exactly what, in a nearby store, where I stopped to grab some cheap cucumbers. Couldn’t figure out where the weight was showing up on the cashier’s screen, so kept leaning over to look as I added more and saw absolutely nothing relevant, leaning in even closer and searching every little bit of the screen with increasing confusion as he read the weight to me a few times, until I reached the one I wanted, and then once that was done I just paid and had to get out of there, taking the cucumbers but not the book. Fortunately, realized I was missing it very quickly and ran back, finding the bag exactly where I had left it, a woman perhaps trying to work her way around it to get to the fruit or vegetables it was placed on. So all’s well that ends well, I guess.

As for cleaning, I did start Tuesday evening, but only wiped the bookcase, vacuumed the corner it’s normally in and the area behind the bed that was exposed due to the bed being in the middle of the room, then put the bookcase back and the books back in it, then changed the sheets and moved the bed back as well, leaving the rest for some other time. Which other time was supposed to have been yesterday, but yesterday I didn’t do much of anything, so I only finished cleaning today… And also “managed” to break the handle from another of my desk drawers as I tried to lean against the desk in order to be able to push the boxes back in place just right, to allow my chair to move normally. They’re made of plastic and the one on the bottom drawer broke some time ago, but they’re made of two parts and if just one snaps in one place, they may still be used if you don’t pull too hard, but this one broke in four pieces, so I couldn’t just leave it like that and tried to glue it back together. Seems to work for the moment, but I may need to get new ones eventually, and I already started looking for metal ones.
The thing is that the fact that I left cleaning for today complicates matters a bit, as I perhaps should have used the day to buy some things instead, after deciding against it Monday. Doing it all, including trying to go to that market again as well, for more apples and probably also green onions, and maybe something else as well if I’ll see what I’m looking for and manage to get it, will take quite a long time and Friday evening tends to be crowded anyway. But I’ll see what I’ll do, how late I’ll get back and how much I’ll manage to read. Sure hope it’ll be something, at least, because I’ll barely manage to get as far as I planned for today now, no way to have a buffer as well, and then I’ll probably go out again at least once during the weekend, the destination meaning another particularly long walk and therefore a lot of time spent not reading or writing the quick review. Some may be spent thinking about it though…